


Hearts on Fire

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Jared, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Minor Violence, Mpreg, Other: See Story Notes, Past Abuse, Protective Jensen, Threats of Violence, Top Jensen Ackles, Unseen/suggested top Jared, past hurt Jensen, possible triggers, unseen/suggested bottom Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:55:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 60,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2310356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen's a firefighter sent into a forest fire in California to clear come cabins when he finds something unexpected: a very scared and also very pregnant Jared, who is also in labor.</p><p>Jared's on the run from his ex. He's scared & trying to protect his unborn child from a life of pain and abuse like he's known when he meets a man very unlike any he's ever known before.</p><p>Surviving the fire is just the start of things between them because while Jensen wants to protect Jared and his son from his abusive ex the involvement also brings back dark memories that the firefighter would much rather forget.</p><p>Can Jensen finally overcome the pain and loss he's buried to start a new life with Jared or will secrets and forgotten danger burn their chances for happiness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language, explicit content later on, mention of past abuse, also implied non-con, some minor violence. There's also mention of past child loss so I'll put in a trigger warning.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
> 
> Beta: Cappy712
> 
> Author Note: This story moved from how I originally planned it so I'm not honestly sure where it's going. It's one of those where the muse and I are literally flying blind. It should update regularly and it won't be a super long one. Real life has been playing havoc with the muse so I decided to start posting this. Enjoy!

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter One**

“Ackles! You need to get the hell outta Dodge ASAP! That fire is literally hot on your ass and cutting off your way to us if you don’t shag ass, son!”

The crackle and hiss of the issued radio on his shoulder mixed with the buzzing of too much crap going on in Jensen Ackles head right then as he squeezed the bridge of his noise. “How long can you keep that fire offa me, Kane?” he asked his teammate in the local fire station/fire jumpers based out of Sacramento, California.

“The winds and humidity aren’t doing us any favors, Jensen. The faster we fight it, the faster it spreads. If it jumps the break line it’ll take out that section of cabins in less an hour. You need to hustle,” Chris Kane, the second senior man on the squad replied from his location 15 miles down the trail in one of the state’s most luscious forests. “You jumped in to clear the cabins of anything flammable and make sure any hardcore tourists who hadn’t run out in terror got their asses in gear. What the hell is your holdup?” he demanded while splitting his focus in three ways.

“Yeah…about clearing the cabins…” Jensen blew out a breath as he looked around one of the last worn out cabins in the forest that he’d been tasked to clear before the ongoing brush fire wiped it out if it got this far. “I sorta hit a snag on that plan, Chris.”

Actually as the 29 year old firefighter thought about it now calling his problem a snag would be putting it mildly. A really large terrifying problem was closer to the truth but he was trying to keep not only himself from panicking but the source of his problem from freaking out as well.

“What sort of snag?” something in the Texas native’s tone warned the other man that it was more than stubborn tourists or possible hazardous toxic issue since Chris knew it took a lot to rattle the senior man on their squad.

“You remember that lady who came in to the station asking to put up a flyer of her missing son?” Jensen was going through his limited supplies since when he’d been dropped off it was just for a search and clear job, not anything that would have actually required a full kit.

Chris Kane ran a hand through his long black hair before putting his helmet back on and began to worry his friend had been inhaling too much smoke since he couldn’t see how a worried mother and a missing young man tied into what the hell was keeping Jensen from getting the hell out of that area.

“Yeah, vaguely,” he did after a lot of thinking and when another of his crew reached into the truck to pull out one of the wrinkled flyers. “Jared T. Padalecki or however you say this last name. 26 years old, new to the area and the woman seemed convinced his no good abuser of a boyfriend might’ve hurt the kid to turn the missing persons case into a homicide,” Chris nodded, recalling how it had been the consensus of the station to start looking around the usual places since if there was one thing Chris and his squad hated was bullies and abusers. “What’s the point?”

“Well…I found Mrs. Padalecki’s son so he’s no longer missing or presumed dead but…we have a slight problem with the suggestion you’re about to make about me dragging him out with me,” Jensen whirled back to the lone bedroom in the barely fit to be lived in cabin at the sound of a barely restrained scream of pain. “In fact, you might wanna get Danneel on the line in the next…five seconds cause I am so outta my league here.”

“Ackles, what in the hell did you get yourself into?” Chris demanded, his usual gravelly voice dropping even lower as he heard Jensen talking lowly to someone else that he could only assume was the supposed missing young man. “Jensen! Give me a damn sitrep!”

Jensen had stepped back into the room to meet wide, glassy with shock and panic hazel eyes and offered a soothing smile that he didn’t feel right then. “We were right on the abuse thought that Mrs. Padalecki mentioned cause that’s why Jared ran when he did and why he thought he’d be safe here but this is also where that huge snag comes into play,” he spoke into his radio while sitting on the edge of the bed to run a slow hand down a tense arm until a shaking hand gripped his as tight as the badly bruised and swollen hand could right then.

“Okay, so the boyfriend’s an asshole. Bring the guy out with you and as soon as he swears out a complaint we can have Morgan arrest his ass just get clear before that fire traps you both,” Chris ordered, frowning at the sounds he was hearing over the radio. “Jensen, talk to me. What’s the problem that you can’t bring him out now or why would you need our resident medic on the radio? Is he hurt now?”

“Oh, he’s hurt,” Jensen sighed as he took in the bruises, healing cuts, fading marks on a boyish face that would be handsome when its owner smiled if not for the haggard look of fear, exhaustion and worry that marred it along with an eye that still showed signs on being swelled. “He’s also very pregnant and in labor as we speak.”

Chris had been about to order the firefighter out of the area when that announcement froze him and he wondered if the top of his head really had exploded like it felt like it had as he took in the slack jaw and wide eyes of another firefighter who’d heard the radio conversation.

“Oh shit,” he muttered and had to wonder why nothing in his life could ever go simply. “Find Dani, tell the Chief we have a situation and if any of you are particularly religious…start praying for a goddamn monsoon to douse those flames before Jensen and this kid become crispy critters.”

“Thanks, Chris. That helped the keeping him calm part of this job,” Jensen muttered under his breath. “Jared. Hey, calm down now and remember to breathe for me,” he was quick to urge, seeing and recognizing the pure panic that would not help things at all. “We’re not going to burn. I am getting you and this little one safely outta here…but first…we’ve got to bring him into the world unless there’s an off or pause button on this whole giving birth thing that my emergency medical classes left out.”

Huge hazel eyes flecked with gold seemed to blink at that and while the terror that had been inside him ever since he finally got the courage to run from the city, run from Tom finally began to bubble up, Jared Padalecki had to admit there was something in the soothing deep voice and gentle green eyes of the man who’d come crashing into the cabin a little over an hour ago that actually calmed him.

It had all seemed so surreal to Jared. He’d moved from his hometown outside of San Antonio, Texas to come to Sacramento to go to school. His mother had been naturally worried about her youngest son, her youngest and gay son, living so far from home in a big strange city in California but Jared had been longing to try to find himself and make his own way.

He’d thought his art scholarship to the University of Sacramento would be the key to a new life. A life without being afraid to be himself, a life away from his father’s verbal and physical abuse that had just increased when Jared came out at 16 as gay.

It had all been going that way for his first three years of college and then Senior year had happened and as Jared accepted now his senior year went to hell like his life had started to; both when he’d met and let himself believe in the lies fed him by his now ex-fiancée, Tom Welling.

Tom had been a year ahead of Jared in college so he’d graduated already when he seemed to take an interest in the quiet but friendly and always happy Jared.

Jared had always been popular. At 6’4” with broad shoulders and long legs and arms and a dimpled smile, he was also attractive but years of verbal put downs had left him shy around people and uneasy with both males and females so when Tom began to approach him slowly he thought it was safe to come out of his shell.

Six months into their relationship, by the time Jared realized the handsome dark haired man from a wealthy family had not only talked him into giving up his off campus apartment but also his job, his future plans and even his final year in school it felt like it was too late to do anything when the abuse began.

At first it was more verbal with Tom dropping little digs about how stupid he was or how he thought he could compete in the art or design fields in California with how weak his skills were. Then the insults began about how fat he was getting so Jared made sure to watch what he ate or fixed them for dinner.

He’d never been one for hanging out with his friends but when what friends he did have started to pull away because of Tom’s possessiveness and jealousy, Jared made a comment that why was it okay for Tom to spend time with his friends but made a big deal about any of Jared’s friends. He still recalled the rage in his boyfriend’s face and the beating he’d taken that night for daring to talk to Tom like he had.

After that, Jared realized now that he’d been basically cut off from everyone and Tom became his sole companion and means of support because he’d also been coerced early on in their relationship to give his much smoother and smarter boyfriend access to Jared’s meager checking account…and the fund that paid for his tuition from his mother.

For the next four years Jared bought into the lies as well as the ever escalating abuse that often put him in the ER at least once or twice a month but after his one attempt to leave Tom had failed and the following weeks of being a literal prisoner inside Tom’s condo scared Jared too badly to try again…until now when Jared knew it was either run or risk the life of the innocent unborn child growing within him and he’d run.

The baby had been a shock. Jared knew and had known since he was a teenager that the odds were high that he carried the extra gene that would allow him to conceive and give birth but as he’d never really been serious with anyone but Tom and he’d always used a condom had never thought about getting pregnant.

Or he hadn’t until the night a drunken Tom had come home from a night out with his buddies and decided he wanted sex no matter what his bruised and bloodied soon to be life partner said about it.

There had been plenty of times when their sex had been rougher than Jared liked but had accepted the role he’d willingly walked into and had taken what Tom had dished out with as little sound as he could manage given that he knew his boyfriend hated when he cried or objected to how something might hurt.

That night though Jared had been concussed, bloodied and barely conscious from earlier in the night when he’d merely asked what time Tom would be home and had gotten a fist to the face and several hard kicks to his side. When he tried to fight the unwanted drunken advance off, he was too slow and groggy to avoid the heavy cuffs that Tom liked to use when he felt Jared was being too uncooperative.

That night was one of pure terror and pain for the young Texan as the man he thought had loved him, had believed his lying words to get Jared to leave everything he’d fought to achieve since moving to Sacramento had forced sex on him without protection three times before finally falling to sleep on a softly sobbing Jared; leaving him cuffed to the bed until well into the next morning.

Six weeks later when Jared kept getting sick even when he didn’t eat anything the results of Tom’s drunken assault was plain even before the sad eyed doctor at a free clinic that Jared had snuck out to visit had given him the news: he was pregnant and a man he now knew he couldn’t love or trust was the father.

A small piece of Jared had hoped if he told Tom that they were expecting a child that things would change; go back to how they’d been in the beginning but the swift backhand to the face that next night gave away Tom’s true feelings and just how dark he could be.

“If I had want brats running around screwing up my life I would’ve found some hot chick to fuck or someone more compatible with my social scene than you!” Tom had screamed after shoving a stunned Jared against the wall of the kitchen, holding a butcher knife to his throat. “Get rid of it or else I’ll get rid of both of you!”

Jared had been stunned and then terrified; not for himself but for the life he actually thought he could feel fluttering in his then still flat stomach. He’d seen the rage and hate in Tom’s blue eyes and knew the man hadn’t been bluffing, that he would kill both him and the baby if he didn’t do what he was told to but in his still soft and loving heart Jared also knew he couldn’t have an abortion and live with himself so he’d done the only thing he could do.

He’d waited a couple days, buying time to try to get a little bit of cash together by selling what belongings he still owned and even a couple of Tom’s gold Rolexes and then the first morning he could Jared had escaped the living hell he’d been living the past four years and just ran.

He’d driven the car that he’d been allowed to keep since it was junk as far as he could before dumping it in favor of a couple cheap bus tickets, going further away from the city and deeper up into the mountains.

Jared’s grandfather had been an avid outdoors man and had taken the unhappy child camping and fishing whenever he could until his sudden heart attack. Jared loved the outdoors and knew if he could get to the mountains, into the thick forests that this part of California was known for that he’d be safe long enough to make other plans.

In the eight months since he’d run from Tom, there hadn’t been a day or night that Jared hadn’t been looking over his shoulder for either his abusive ex or someone working for him. Jared hoped that Tom would have cut his losses and moved on but in his heart he knew the man wouldn’t let him go that easily.

It was clear to Jared now, as his mother had always said, that Tom was just using him because Jared had been emotionally beaten down so much as a child that he’d never fight back and Jared knew that was true. He’d allowed what happened to him to happen; he’d let Tom abuse him physically and emotionally because at first he’d believed the lies.

It was only when Jared had another life to think of that he’d seen the truth and knew what he needed to do. When he got scared the last time that someone might have gotten too close to him and would drag him back, would kill his baby or take it and sell it like he’d also heard Tom discussing with someone the night before Jared had left.

He’d left the safe old boarding house on the edge of the National forest, left the job he’d lucked into helping the friendly old couple who owned the general store and run into the thick and heavy redwood forest until he came upon a few old cabins that had seen better days.

Jared had heard the locals talking about fire season and how stupid campers often caused the fires by not putting out their cooking fires or just dropping an ash from a cigarette but he’d been so tired, so worn out and feeling weak that he hadn’t thought of their warnings until now.

The night he’d run from the boarding house had also been when someone working for Tom or his family had also caught up with him and had tried to force him into a black van to take him back. The man had thought beating Jared into submission would work but this time, no matter how scared he was Jared knew he’d fight for his unborn son. And that’s what he’d done.

Luckily, the old man who owned the house had heard the disturbance and had come out with his old shotgun firing. It had scared the kidnapper away and had also given Jared a chance to bolt.

Now he understood the warnings and now as he laid on the old worn out mattress fighting to remember how a helpful waitress at the diner with five kids had taught him to breathe, Jared also knew in his haste to escape he also might have still not only doomed himself and his child but also the ruggedly handsome guy who’d found him cowering in the closet out of fear that the door crashing in had been Tom’s cronies.

“Jared? C’mon, I need you to stay with me and focus on me,” the actual concern in that deep husky voice brought Jared out of his memories to blink when he realized he must have zoned out for a minute or two because warm, calloused but gentle hands were framing his face.

That whole morning Jared hadn’t felt good. He’d been tired and his back had been hurting like hell while the baby had been kicking his bladder with enough strength that the young Texan knew his kid was going to be a star football player…or a damn kickboxer.

It hadn’t even occurred to him that he might be close to being in labor since he thought he was only eight months along but the sudden fear of the stranger and then being told a wall of flames was bearing down on them had caused his stress levels to quadruple and Jared guessed that had been what had finally caused his water to break and now left them both in a mess.

“Jared…watch my eyes and breathe with me, baby. You need to control your breathing because I can help you with the delivery but not if you pass out by hyperventilating,” Jensen was saying when he finally saw a flicker in those big deep eyes that had immediately tugged at the heart he thought he’d closed up to those emotions. “There you go, sweetheart. Just slow down your breathing a little until you have to breathe fast to beat back the contractions. Hey there, you with me again?”

Jared thought he was but couldn’t be sure since it had been a long time since anyone had spoken to him in a tone that wasn’t mocking or cruel or casual. It had been even longer since anyone had gotten close enough to touch his face or brush his too long dark hair back out of his eyes like this guy, Jensen he thought he’d said his name was, was now doing.

“You…you can still go,” Jared mumbled, slumping back to the stained pillow once his heart rate settled and he tried to catch his breath before the next contraction. “No…no sense in all of us burning to death. You…you weren’t expecting to find some stupid pregnant guy in the middle of a forest fire.”

In the short time since meeting Jared, once he’d coaxed the obviously terrified soon to be father out of the closet, Jensen had gotten a ramble of words that he actually made sense of to know several things about who this was, why he was hiding in a closet in some old cabin when he was so obviously pregnant and about the man who’d caused such fear and shadows in eyes that melted Jensen’s heart.

The biggest thing about Jared Tristan Padalecki that Jensen learned in the brief hour and a half since finding him was that he wasn’t stupid. He could tell that just by talking to him this little bit. Jensen did feel the boy was scared of his own shadow but could also see the signs of long time abuse in this dark haired young man who had leaned into him as he helped him to the bed after they’d both been shocked when his water broke.

“You’re not stupid, Jared. You’re scared and confused but definitely not stupid,” Jensen remarked while trying to gauge Jared’s blood pressure after he finally got the cuff hooked around an arm that felt much too thin for the firefighter’s liking.

Jared was 6’4” which put him three inches taller than Jensen but he was also dangerously thin despite being heavily pregnant so Jensen had been careful when he touched him not to leave more bruises than he could still see or break any fragile bones on a very fragile young man.

“When your Mom was by the fire station the other week with flyers she seemed convinced your boyfriend or I guess ex-boyfriend or whatever he was had something to do with your disappearance though I think she was afraid he’d killed you,” Jensen felt the pulse under his fingers jump at the mention of Jared’s abusive ex and knew if he made it out of the woods that he would see a friend about getting that asshole jailed for what he’d done to this soft spoken young man.

“He will if he finds me,” Jared mumbled, jumping as something cold touched his rounded belly only to see it was a stethoscope to allow Jensen to hear the baby’s heartbeat. “He’ll kill the baby if he can or sell it and kill me for running away. I want my baby to live, Jensen…but I’m…scared of Tom. I…I don’t wanna go back or let him…huh?” he stopped when a hand touched his cheek softly.

“I don’t know how but I will promise you right now that I will help you break free of that bastard once and for all,” Jensen told him quietly; unsure where this sudden need to protect was coming from as he hadn’t felt it in a number of years. “He will not lay one more finger on you and he will never touch this baby.”

Jared wasn’t sure what to make of this man. He was a total stranger and yet he was offering more support than anyone Jared had ever known. “W-why are you so nice to me?” he asked, hearing his words stammer and hating the childhood stutter that he’d never fully been able to lose. “I’m nobody. I’m just some gay guy who got knocked up by his loser boyfriend and who was stupid enough to give up everything I’d ever wanted because I believed him. I’m…”

“You cared enough to know you wanted to protect your baby from a monster who’d hurt you and who would hurt this little one if he could,” Jensen offered a slow smile in reassurance, putting his stuff away once he’d heard a strong heartbeat from inside Jared’s belly and confident the baby wasn’t in distress but still knew the danger to all of them was huge.

The fire was the biggest threat but Jensen knew there’d be no way that Jared could move fast enough in this condition, especially as his contractions started getting closer together.

Jensen knew he had an emergency fire tent in his pack that would be a tight fit but if he had to, if he got word that the fire had jumped the break line then he’d get Jared out of the house so no falling lumber would collapse on them and put the damn fire proof thing to the ultimate test.

“You’re like any young guy who might not be sure of himself when someone like this Welling bastard comes along, Jared. He knew the right lies to say to get you to believe him, to let him in fully and to give him control,” Jensen could see the pain suddenly returning in Jared’s tired, red rimmed eyes and frowned slightly as he considered the time between contractions. “You need to take control now. You need to be brave but you also need to learn who to trust so you can get back on your feet after this.”

“You…saw my Momma?” Jared had been stunned to learn that his Mom had come clear to Sacramento to post Missing Persons signs up about him. “I…I didn’t think my Dad would let her come. He…he used to…I mean…”

Just by the lowered lashes and shaking fingers as Jared spoke of his father, Jensen knew how long this young man had been going through the cycle of abuse and ached to be able to help him start to heal. That would require them surviving this fire and getting Jared and his baby to a hospital.

“I have something I can give you to dull the pain before it gets too intense if you want it,” Jensen rubbed a hand over the one that Jared had placed over his belly as if trying to protect the baby from what was to come as a noise made the firefighter look up. “Shit!” he hissed, fighting not to show the already scared young man how alarmed he suddenly was at the much closer than he liked red haze that he could now see.

Jensen was about to suggest trying to get out of the cabin to avoid the roof falling in on them when suddenly Jared let out a cry of pain as the next contraction hit him and just as he was about to go back to him the radio on his shoulder crackled to life.

“Jensen!” Chris’s voice sounded frantic and also shaky as the radio began to cut in and out. “The fire jumped the break line! It’s heading right for you!”

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Two**

The words weren’t out of Chris Kane’s mouth over the radio and Jensen could see the wild panic building once again in Jared’s huge eyes. “Remind me again why you decided against being a doctor, Chris? Oh, that’s right. Your bedside manner sucked!” the Texas native growled, catching the moving hand as Jared tried to push him away while curling up more as if to shield his unborn but very impatient baby. “My radio’s on an open line, Kane! Jared hears every damn thing you say and it scares him more than he already is! Shut the fuck up!

“Jared, sweetheart…calm down. I’m not letting you or this baby die in a fire,” Jensen was trying to soothe when his radio squawked again and he was half tempted to pitch the damn thing but held his temper since he knew he needed to stay reasonably calm for all of their sakes. “Jared…damn it, Jay!”

It was the nickname that broke through the terror that had Jared’s heart beating furiously against his ribcage again. No one had ever called him anything but his full name except Tom and those weren’t names that Jared wanted to repeat ever.

His eyes shot to Jensen to lock onto his green eyes, feeling firm fingers wrap around his hand and immediately felt himself calming down. “I…I’m trying to be brave. I know I told you to…to go but…” he glanced down to avoid letting Jensen see the tears that had started to wet his lashes. “I’m scared, Jensen.”

“I know. So am I. Being in the middle of a fire like this is never easy for anyone,” Jensen told him quietly, gently reaching out to cup a lowered chin to lift it back up and could see the tears shining. “Every time I get dropped into a fire zone or I go into a building that’s engulfed I wonder if it might be my last. I can’t tell you not to be scared but I will tell you that I’ll be with you through whatever happens. I will not leave you, Jay.”

“You’ll die too,” Jared didn’t want anyone to die but he couldn’t deny feeling a little braver at the thought that Jensen was willing to risk his life for them. He gasped as another contraction began to hit him when a soothing hand rubbed over his belly. “Jen?”

Jensen kept his face calm in the face of a nickname he usually hated and prayed any of the assholes who might be on his channel kept their lips zipped as well as he smiled calmly. “I’ll risk it cause I promised to help you deliver this impatient little one.”

“Hey! If we’re done with the Hallmark moment crap can you focus on the radio long enough to tell me which of those damn cabins you’re in?” Chris’s gruff voice snapped back over the open channel. “Our window is rapidly closing and Rosenbaum will be cutting this close as it is.”

“Huh? What?” Jensen had been so focused on calming Jared down that he lost track of everything else until he frowned. “It’s the only cabin with a kicked in door and…what the hell does it matter what one it…” he whirled toward the front of the cabin at the sound of a loud engine and tires kicking up dirt as something squealed to a hasty stop. “Chris?”

“Don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you, Jensen,” Chris spoke from the radio and also the front door as boots were heard on the porch to allow him to hurry into the cabin, shoving his hat back on his head as he took in the very pregnant Jared and his own stunned friend. “Let’s get this show moving. Mike thinks I’m nuts for risking this but like I told him I’m not dealing with Murray by myself so we’re literally jumping into the frying pan with this one if that thing out there can out run the flames.”

Jared’s fingers were weak when they tried to grab onto Jensen’s arm as the stocky gravelly voiced guy with long black hair approached the bed to reach for his arm. “Jensen?”

It was the shaking fear in Jared’s soft voice that snapped Jensen back. “It’s okay, Jared. He’s a friend,” he reassured him, meeting worried eyes as his teammate got closer. “How’d you get the Chief to okay this?” he asked quietly while grabbing his bag before slipping one of Jared’s long arms over his shoulders.

“Who said I got his okay?” Chris returned after getting a nod that it was safe to touch a young man that the fire fighter could easily read was skittish. “How far along is he?” he asked once they got Jared to his feet.

Jensen went to answer only to have Jared nearly crumple to the floor by the strength of his next contraction. “Too far,” he muttered, supporting Jared’s weight while whispering against his ear to calm him down and help him breathe through the pain. “This baby’s coming, Chris.”

“God, I thought first kids were supposed to take a mandatory 26-hours or longer or something,” Chris grumbled sourly, feeling how thin this kid’s arm felt under his hand and shooting Jensen a sour look. “Am I having JD issuing a warrant as soon as we’re clear?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded, helping Jared down out of the cabin to feel the pressure and heat in the air that hadn’t been there earlier and knew from experience how close the actual fire was. “You didn’t clear coming in for us by the Chief. Did you clear taking his new toy out?” he asked as he took in the fire department’s new van that had been outfitted with a few new items that Jensen hoped would help them get the hell out of the forest before the flames or smoke overtook them.

“Not exactly,” Chris muttered as the side door opened to reveal a very worried looking young woman dressed in the full fire fighter’s outfit. “I didn’t clear bringing Dani in either so I’m probably looking at the unemployment line or a jail cell when he catches wind of this stunt.”

Danneel Harris rolled her eyes as she reached out to help the men get Jared into the back of the well-equipped van. “Sit him down on the mat,” she ordered briskly, taking the situation in quickly and knew it wasn’t good. “Jensen, since he’s used to you you’ll have to stay behind him to help brace him and to give him something to focus on. Chris, you and the crazy guy at the wheel just make sure to get us the hell out of here.”

“That’s my plan,” Chris nodded as he helped Jensen shed the heavy jacket and hat to make it easier for him. “You got this?” he asked quietly.

Jensen was glad to be rid of the heavy clothing even though he knew it was against regulation to remove them while still in a fire zone but it was hot already in the van and he knew the heavy coat would be rough for Jared to lean back against.

“Yeah, I’ve got them,” he replied, not paying attention to his choice of words or the looks shared by his friends as he helped Jared sit down on the padded plastic mat that covered a section of the metal floor to lean back against his chest while Danneel went to work on getting Jared out of his clothes after grabbing some sheets to offer the man what privacy they could right then. “Jay? It’s okay. Dani’s a trained medic and has delivered a lot of babies.”

“Guys having babies?” Jared asked, blushing like crazy but knowing given the current circumstances that having his pants off to give the red headed young woman access was required.

Danneel heard the slight panic and knew this boy probably had been given every horror story ever heard since the gene was discovered that allowed men to carry and give birth. “It’ll be fine, honey,” she assured him, switching her attention in three ways as she prepared to examined Jared in the now rapidly moving van. “Chad! Don’t you dare flip this thing!”

Chad Michael Murray waved a hand as he fought the wheel while Chris got back on his radio to try to dial their air support. “Rosenbaum better be right on our asses, dude. Those flames are tearing through this brush and I can’t drive as fast as I want considering what we’ve got going on in the back.

The 6’ rangy firefighter was an expert behind the wheel but with a pregnant guy giving birth in the back of the van and a serious fire closing in on them the blond was more than a little nervous.

“Mikey! We’ve got the packages and are on the way out. Where exactly are you and do you have enough of that stuff to make a difference?” Chris asked, deciding not to think too hard on what they’d do if the interference over the radios made communication impossible when a sudden sound from above them made him look out the window to see a wall of white raining down on the flames while a lighter shower of liquid came down on the van from the helicopter that was not following closely.

“The Chief is snarling and calling you names I don’t think are repeatable on an open channel so he okayed using the other plane to try to keep the flames down while Matt uses the water cannon to douse that thing Chad’s driving,” a scratchy voice came from over the radio as the chopper pilot worked to keep them level but low enough to still do some good to keep the heat from making the van too hot.

Michael Rosenbaum had been a chopper pilot in the Air Force before he retired and joined the Fire and Rescue team based out of Sacramento. Now the tall ex-Air Force officer was using his skills to fight fires and still help people. He just hoped this crazy scheme that Kane cooked up actually worked.

“Tell Chad when he gets to that fork a mile ahead of you to take the left path. It’s clear of trees so we’ll be able to follow you,” he reported. “Also tell him my granny drives faster than that on a bicycle!”

“ _Hel_ -lo! Guy having a baby in the back!” Chad yelled so he’d be heard. “Dani will bitch if I drive too fast!”

“I’ll also bitch if you get us cooked!” Danneel snapped but offered a nervous Jared a calm smile. “I swear that we will get you and your baby out of here alive. Just try to relax while I give a look,” she urged, meeting Jensen’s eyes to silently urge him to do something to distract her patient.

Jensen shifted slightly so he could make the position of leaning back against him more comfortable on Jared, who was trying to breathe through the contractions that were now very close together while wishing the damn van had a partition so the voices from the front seat and the radio couldn’t be heard.

He’d placed one of Jared’s clenching hands on his knee while folding his other into his own tight grip, feeling it gripped in return and held. “I want you to squeeze my hand or my leg when the pain gets too bad, Jared,” he began in a low, husky, soothing tone that he hoped will calm the scared young man down.

Jensen held a bottle of water that Dani passed him up so Jared could take a small sip, wiping the sweat off of his brow. “It’s all good, Jay. We’re doing good and so are you. Just breathe like you’ve been doing and focus on my voice and…here, focus on this,” he reached under his shirt at the neck to pull out a small gold medal with an embossed bird rising out of the ashes on it. “You look at this and know that you’re going to rise up and be the man you wanted to be before that asshole knocked it all down.

“You are going to be a great parent to this little guy and you’ll find someone to love that loves you both,” Jensen had to be quick to choke back the words that he realized he wanted to say because the longer he spent with Jared the more he wanted to get to know him outside of a life and death situation. “And whoever that guy is will be the luckiest guy in this whole world.”

“No one would want to be with me, especially now,” Jared murmured softly, voice tight from pain but when it eased off to just unbearable he slumped back; letting his head rest against a solid shoulder and tried not to think too long or hard on how good it felt to know that someone was there for him. “Talk to me, Jensen?” he asked, needing to just hear that low deep voice next to his ear as he tried not to think about where his baby was going to come out. “Tell me about you, your life…if that’s not too personal.”

Dani had been examining Jared to see how far along he was and had been humming to herself that so far this delivery, except for the whole running away from a burning forest, was going smoothly when she heard that softly spoken request. Her eyes shot up in preparation to shoot her longtime friend a warning glare to humor her patient only to have to stare when she realized that she didn’t see the instant coolness or guarded expression on Jensen’s face like he normally got when asked about his life.

“There’s not much to tell. This is basically me,” Jensen brought the hand in his up to lay over the center of Jared’s chest while wincing at the strength that he was shocked Jared actually had in his injured hand but shrugged that off to pain and fear. “I work all the time and can be a jerk most of those days. Just ask any of them.”

“I’d tell him what I normally say you act like but I don’t want to be a bad influence on unborn ears,” Chad called back while swerving suddenly to avoid a downed tree. “Hey! Can I ask a stupid question?”

“No!” both Jensen and Danneel spoke up as if knowing what the often too curious man might be about to ask. “I’ll have Mike explain it in detail since he was in the room when his husband had their twins,” Danneel added with a well-practiced roll of her eyes. “All Jensen does is work…when he’s not locked in that room in his attic with his guitar.”

“Dani,” Jensen’s tone dropped a little lower but more in warning but his gaze went soft again the moment Jared tried to twist in his arms to look back at him curiously, almost in awe. “It’s a hobby. I like to think I can play some guitar or piano and sing but I’m tone deaf so I know I can’t carry a tune.”

Keeping an eye on the GPS and also the road ahead of them while the chopper kept a steady spray of water on them and the plane behind it was dumping more fire retardant foam down, Chris snorted and shot a look toward the back.

“Dude, you sing better than I do and I’ve begged you to sing with my band on the weekends,” he remarked, hiding his smile as he watched the way Jensen’s hand touched Jared almost without realizing he’d passed purely professional a good long while ago. “You’re not tone deaf.”

“I bet you can sing and play great,” Jared admired anyone with true talent. He once thought he had a talent but after so long of listening to Tom tell him his drawings were crap he wasn’t so certain. “Maybe…maybe you’ll let me hear you?” he asked quietly, a faint blush tinging his already flushed cheeks.

“Maybe I will,” Jensen returned, lightly brushing his thumb over Jared’s cheek when he caught the flash a moment before the pain hit again and this time Dani was scurrying into a better position. “Just do what Dani tells you and focus on breathing. This little boy wants to come into the world.”

Danneel made certain she had all she’d need as she looked up into scared eyes to smile reassuringly. “You’re doing great, Jared. This is the most natural thing in the world even for guys now so just listen to me when I say to push and focus on Jensen’s voice the rest of the time,” she told him, steadying her nerves while ignoring the muttering going on up front. “Here we go…”

“We’re almost clear,” Chad reported, fingers tight on the wheel while he tried to focus on his driving, the scattered conversation between Chris and the radio and what was happening behind them.

The ride had been rough but he’d kept it as smooth as he could. As they neared the end of the tree line it seemed like the mist of water that had been raining down on them was increasing until finally it occurred to Chad that it wasn’t the mist of water that the chopper had been hitting them with but actual rain.

“Someone finally must be taking pity on us,” he called out as the drizzle swiftly became a harder downpour until finally Mike radioed that he and the plane had to pull back due to the sudden change in weather. “It’s actually raining, Chris.”

“Rain? That’s went from rain to a downpour in five seconds flat,” Chris retorted but was glad to see it because the sudden change in weather would help control the fire while also ensuring that they made it out of the forest alive. “Hey? Who called for the…well I’ll be damned.”

The Oklahoma native had just been turning in his seat to look in the back when the sudden loud cry of a newborn was heard and he caught the look of raw emotion on Jensen’s face and knew without a doubt in his mind that his longtime friend had started to fall hard for this young man.

Jensen could hear the conversations going on up front. He heard the change in sound when the rain started to beat down on them and knew they were going to make it when suddenly another sound had his attention refocusing as Jared suddenly collapsed back against him and a strong, healthy cry was heard.

“Oh my God,” he breathed, arm slipping around to hold the gasping younger man back to him while running his fingers back through sweat soaked dark hair as both men watched as Danneel gently cleaned the angry looking newborn up before wrapping the little boy in a warm soft blanket and holding him out to his physically exhausted but very happy looking father.

“Congratulations, Jared,” she offered him a bright smile while placing the newborn in his arms, only having to adjust his grip slightly which pleased her. “You are the proud parent of a very healthy, very loud little boy. Please don’t let Chad around him too much or he will learn way too many bad habits.”

Jared knew he was crying but he couldn’t stop the tears that had started the moment he heard his son’s first cry. He was exhausted but too fascinated by the little scrunched up face as he quickly counted fingers and toes to care.

He’d known from the first time that he felt his child kick that he loved the baby that had spent the last several months growing inside him but the moment he actually held his son, felt tiny fingers curl around his Jared knew that no matter what else happened he would love and protect his baby with his life.

“He looks like you, Jay,” Jensen spoke softly, adjusting his arms so he could hold Jared and the baby better now that Danneel was finished cleaning them both up for the moment and covered Jared with a blanket to keep him warm until they could get both father and son to a hospital.

“He’s just born,” Jared blushed just from the feel of the intensity of the green eyes watching him, resting back more against the comforting touch without realizing it. “You think he does? I mean, I know he’ll probably have Tom’s eyes or something but…”

“He looks like you,” Jensen repeated and meant it. Even now as he looked down at the tiny body curled protectively in Jared’s arms he could see the same curve of the nose and shape of Jared’s eyes as well as a small patch of fine dark brown hair. “He’s beautiful, Jared. You did so well just now. I’m proud of you.”

Surviving a wild fire, giving birth in the back of a van while trying to outrun the fire had left him stunned at the turn his life had taken but hearing that someone like Jensen, a guy that had so much going for him, was proud of him just floored Jared.

He couldn’t recall the last time anyone had said that to him. It certainly hadn’t been in the last four years since usually all he’d been told was how stupid he was or how lucky he’d been that Tom had taken an interest in him given how far out of Tom’s league he was.

“You’re…” he tried to turn enough to look into Jensen’s eyes while not disturbing his new son. “You’re really proud of me?” he asked a little warily, experience teaching him not to trust so easily this time. “I…I didn’t do anything to be proud of.”

“Dude, you just pushed a little human being out of your body,” Chad shot back after hearing some of the scattered conversation. “I’d think that’d be something to be proud of cause I can tell you one damn thing right now. I would not even begin to do that…if I could…which I can’t. Hell, I still don’t know how Jensen…umm, right…shutting up before Kane rips my throat out while I’m driving.”

Jared was tired, in pain and more than a little in shock from everything that he’d been through recently but he still caught the sudden tension that hit Jensen. He also heard the low hiss from Danneel when she threw something at the driver’s ducking head.

“Jen?” the use of the shortened form of Jensen’s name didn’t dawn on Jared as he yawned but fought to stay awake to see a flash of sadness in those deep green eyes before the ruggedly handsome face cleared to give a slow soft smile. “What’s he…I mean…never mind. I know it’s none of my business and…huh?”

“It’s just not something I talk about openly a lot,” Jensen replied, shifting so he could move Jared into a better position as well as relieve his suddenly aching body from having sat in one position for so long. “If…if you ask me sometime later, if you’d want to see me after this is over…then I’ll see if I can talk to you about it.”

This was a huge step. Jensen knew he might be moving too fast given how fragile Jared seemed right then and how he knew the younger man really needed to learn how to grow into his own as both his own person and a father but there was just this feeling inside Jensen that told him to take this step; to reach out and see what happened.

“I...yeah, I’d like to see you again,” Jared wasn’t sure where this was coming from. He’d sworn when he made the break that he was done with relationships but then as he silently chastised himself he thought maybe Jensen meant as just friends; which was fine with him too. “What…what happens now?”

“Once we’re clear and can get to a safe spot there’ll be an ambulance waiting to take you and this cutie pie to the hospital to be checked over,” Danneel answered before Jensen could. “You’re pretty banged up so Dr. Ferris will probably want to admit you at least overnight to be sure you’re both healthy before letting you go home.”

Jared went still at this and his breathing changed just enough to let Jensen know the new father was scared of both being in a hospital and also where he’d go with a newborn and very little to no financial support.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine,” he assured Jared softly, squeezing his medal into Jared’s hand. “You’ll be safe at the hospital and as soon as I get cleaned up and debriefed or whatever the Chief wants to call it I’ll be there. It will be alright, Jared,” he tipped Jared’s face up to meet his eyes. “I promise.”

It was so easy for Jared to want to believe the truth and honesty he could see in Jensen’s eyes but so much of him was still scared after years of abuse and belittling. “I…I don’t want to lose him, Jensen,” he whispered, bringing his now sleeping son up closer to hold him as if afraid someone might take him. “I know I can be a fit father. I know it. I…I can provide for us but…”

“Shh, no one’s taking him away from you, sweetheart. I’ll take care of everything when I get there and I’ll give Sam, that’s Dr. Ferris, a call to tell her what’s going on so she’ll know,” Jensen ignored the not so subtle looks of shock he was getting from his friends.

He knew they were surprised at his behavior. He’d pretty much closed himself off after his last relationship not only went up in flames but left him in a really bad way for a long time. He’d refused to date or even get close to someone again…until he stepped into a cabin and laid eyes on a soft eyed young man who’d clearly suffered too much for too long.

Jared pulled at his closed off heart like no one ever had before and while Jensen accepted he was jumping from the fire into the frying pan possibly he honestly didn’t care so long as he could take those shadows out of Jared’s eyes and maybe even see him smile.

“They will take him when you reach the hospital but just long enough to clean him up, check him out and then they’ll give him right back,” Jensen went on to say while seeing how heavy with exhaustion Jared’s eyes were getting as the van cooled off and the rain beat in a steady rhythm on the roof to begin to lull both father and son to sleep. “Make sure you go with him and tell Sam and Gen to not let anyone close to him until I get JD to issue a warrant for his asshole ex-boyfriend. Also…tell her that I’ll cover his bill.”

“What the hell are you doing, Jensen?” the pretty redhead asked quietly, feeling the van slowing down and hearing Chris speaking on the radio to someone again. “Ever since Jason…ever since it happened you’ve avoided blind dates or even getting close to someone who might have found you attractive or that you might find attractive. You’ve also gone out of your way to avoid ready-made families like this or people with infants. Why are you risking your heart like this for a guy you pulled out of a fire and…”

“And literally held, while he brought this beautiful innocent baby into the world?” Jensen finished for her while being careful to keep his voice pitched low. “There was some connection from the second I found him in that closet back there at the cabin, Dani. Maybe it’s because he’s open. With Jared there’s nothing there but who and what he is and that is a young man that’s been abused in some way most of his life and who just needs a friend to start with.”

“You ain’t gonna tell us that it’s just friendship you’re looking for from this kid,” Chris remarked as he came back once the van was pulled to a stop. “I’ve seen you with him, Jensen. He’s as skittish as a new born colt but yet he’ll trust you and you’ve been talking to and touching him more than you’ve touched anyone in five years. You’re getting in too deep, Jensen. Or you’re letting him get in too deep and if you’re going to bolt on him if things get too heavy or you decide it’s bringing back the memories then you need to be honest with him.

Jensen’s eyes had narrowed in silent warning but he remained silent. He knew Chris and Danneel were just being friends and he did accept their concern but for the first time in those five years since his life had dramatically changed after one horrible night he felt alive and also protective.

He had a better clue to some of the fear and uncertainty that Jared’s been living with than he thought the younger man might realize right then. Jensen knew only too well how it felt to be put down on a constant basis. He knew what it was like to live in fear of abuse that was also more physical. He also knew about a loss that he prayed Jared would never have to learn.

“I don’t know how this will work out or what’ll happen in a day or two much less a couple weeks or more,” Jensen began slowly, fingers gentle as they carded back through Jared’s damp hair to move over his face and then let a fingertip just brush lightly over the baby’s head. “I just know that I feel something for him and I won’t see him or this baby hurt, especially by some asshole who thinks the world revolves around him and him alone.”

“Like Jason?” Chris decided to take the risk and wasn’t disappointed when he was pinned by hot green eyes and something was thrown at his head from the driver’s seat. “I’m just trying to remind you that not every bully or abusive bastard is like him.”

“Yeah, well this one comes pretty close to being his twin,” Jensen muttered and then closed off, refusing to bring that much memory back while he was still holding Jared and the baby. “Dani, please. Just go to the hospital with him and tell Sam to make sure he’s taken care of?”

Danneel looked as the van’s back door was opened by a concerned EMT, finally nodding. “I was going to go anyway,” she told him, patting a tense hand to urge the firefighter to release his charges. “Honey, you have to let go so we can take them to Sam. As soon as you get cleaned up, and the Chief bitches at Chris you’ll be by, but let go for now.”

“Take care of them, Dani,” Jensen slowly relaxed his arms so Chris could help the other EMT place Jared on the stretcher while Danneel had carefully eased the baby into her arms until they were secured in the waiting ambulance.

“You okay?” Chris asked, noticing that Chad was waving his arms in a way that usually meant the often too hyper man was close to freaking out about something when the voice of their Chief was heard shouting. “Jensen? Hey, talk to me. Are you okay?”

Jensen’s gaze didn’t move from where the ambulance had driven off until he couldn’t even see a speck of dust from the road, ignoring the still hard rain that was soaking him to the skin as he pondered that question for what seemed like a long time.

“I know you all will think I’m rushing this or that I don’t know what I’m doing but…I care for him, Chris,” he glanced over at his friend to see the expected surprise but also a grim understanding. “Could I end up hurt again? Yeah, probably but you’re the one who’s been bitching at me to stop hiding in those memories.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean to fall for the first set of sad eyes you meet!” Chris yelled to Jensen’s back as he turned to walk away.

He debated going after his friend when the stern voice of the Chief of the local Fire and Rescue unit yelled for him to get his ass over to the command truck. Chris blew out a breath and accepted that whatever happened now he hoped it didn’t result in too many hearts being broken.

By the time the team was backed up by another squad to make sure the fire was now safely under control or could be handled and Jensen got back to the station to shower, change, debrief his superior who was still glowering at Chris and Chad it was almost eight hours before he got to the local hospital.

He pulled up and parked his battered old Jeep in a side lot and for a few minutes he sat there to consider what he was doing.

Jensen accepted he was breaking every rule he’d made for himself but there was just something pulling him toward Jared and as he stepped out to notice a big shiny Town Car in a No Parking zone he felt the hair on the back of his neck start to stand up.

Since he often volunteered at the hospital on weekends Jensen was known by the staff on all the floors. He knew which floor Jared would be on and figured he’d catch the head doctor or the main nurse up there as well.

Expecting to hear the usual noises that came with the maternity floor, Jensen stepped from the elevator to hear raised voices from down the hall and instantly felt his temper start to spike. By the time he got closer to the room to hear a loud, pissed off man’s voice shouting obscenities while demanding to know where his stupid, coward of a fiancée and that thing he gave birth to was, Jensen’s teeth were clenched along with his fist.

Jensen’s hand was just touching the door when he heard the voice of a very composed and also very angry Genevieve Cortese as she was confronting the arrogant asshole demanding that he was taking what belonged to him.

“Sir, as you were told at the desk we have no one by that name registered as a patient either in this hospital or on this floor. And even if we did I sure as hell wouldn’t let you near him much less a newborn baby given your attitude,” Gen might be petite in stature but she more than made up for it in attitude and temper as she stood in the center of the room with hands on her hips glaring up at a man that towered over her by at least a foot. “I’m telling you one more time to leave or else I’ll call security to escort you off the property.

Tom Welling had been furious for months. Not only had he been humiliated when Jared had the gall to vanish but he’d been called on the carpet by his own family for not being more supportive when he bitched that the dumb moron had gone and gotten pregnant.

He’d been determined to find his longtime boyfriend turned fiancée if for no other reason than to show him that he was nothing better than dirt under Tom’s expensive loafers if he thought he could just leave him and then expect him to let him have that so-called baby and run the risk of being nailed with child support or a paternity suit.

When his last man had told him where he’d come across Jared he’d come straight from the city to the hospital once it was reported over a police band about an injured man having delivered a child in the middle of that firestorm.

Now he was sneering at the bitch who thought she could tell him what to do and keep him away from what he very clearly still thought of as his given all the years he’d wasted on that kid.

“Get the fuck outta my way, bitch!” he snarled, starting to raise a hand to slap or shove the smaller woman out of the way to tear the room apart until he found what he was looking for only to suddenly gasp out a broken curse when strong fingers wrapped around his wrist to jerk him around. “What the hell?” he growled, prepared to unleash his wrath on whoever dared touch him when he found himself jerked forward and then across the room toward the door.

“You aren’t touching the lady, Welling,” Jensen had no doubt that this was who Jared was running from and could certainly see why he’d been so afraid of being located. He met and matched the hot glare of the man, arm flat across his chest to keep him pinned while his eyes glittered in a rage that he hadn’t felt in more than five years. “I think she told you to get the hell out. I suggest you do that.”

Tom was shocked and even more furious that these stupid people were trying to keep him from claiming what he’d made his four years ago. He spat in the face of the dark blond haired rugged looking man, shoving his hands against his chest while reaching into his pocket without thinking to pull the small blade he always carried.

“Stay the hell outta what doesn’t concern you, hero!” he snapped, eyeing the room with an almost crazed glint in his eye. “I know Jared’s here and I’m taking him with me. I also want that thing he delivered; cause I’m not getting stuck with a paternity suit for a brat I never wanted to begin with!”

Gen had called security on her way to try to stall the man who’d arrived demanding the release of his fiancée. Now as she watched the muscle in Jensen’s jaw twitch, saw his fingers flex on reflex to a threat she was silently hoping they actually showed up before someone bled or needed a body bag.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Three**

When the knife came out Jensen Ackles had tensed but only for a second. Then his temper spiked and when Tom Welling’s attention went over his shoulder at the sound of the door slamming open and an outraged Dr. Samantha Ferris demanded to know what the hell was happening the firefighter made his move.

“Weapons are against the rules to be brought into the hospital, jackass,” Jensen grabbed the hand holding the small switchblade to jerk it down, using his elbow to strike a nerve he knew was in the man’s arms to cause him to drop the weapon. “In fact, I’m pretty sure that’ll get you hauled off in cuffs as you might be some crazy guy looking to kill a bunch of innocent people and their babies,” he smirked at the grunt of pain he head when he slammed the man’s head into the wall. “Since you were also essentially coming at me with that blade I’ll be sure to press charges to keep you in a cell.”

“I’m not leaving here without what belongs to me!” Tom yelled as hospital security and two police officers appeared in the door. “You can’t arrest me! I didn’t do anything wrong! These people are keeping me away from…ugh!”

Jensen’s arm was suddenly flat across his throat, refusing to let the next words come out of his mouth. “No. You do not say the word ‘family’ because you don’t deserve that,” he growled lowly, hate fighting to be restrained as he could still hear Jared the first time he spoke about this man and the things he’d done to him, wanted to do to him when he learned about the baby. “Jared will never go back to you, Welling. You will never touch him or that baby. He is not yours now to abuse or belittle. And if I were you I’d learn that and get the hell outta my town.”

As two grim faced cops pulled his arms behind his back while another bagged the knife Tom glared with hate at Jensen. “You’re making a mistake, hero!” he yelled as he was dragged from the room, twisting to try to continue to hurl insults and slurs at not only Jensen but also Jared. “I didn’t waste all those years molding that slow ass Texan into my own personal project to let him walk away or pin me with some kid that’s probably not even mine! Slut! I know what you are, Jared! I’m the only one who’ll take you in when this asshole gets tired of you! I’m…”

“Get him the hell out of my hospital and keep him out!” Sam Ferris snapped, physically blocking the door to keep Jensen in the room before he could lunge at the screaming man and get himself arrested. “I will not have him putting the lives of any of my patients at risk!”

It wasn’t until the combined force of the police and security finally got a resisting Tom into the elevator so the doors could close did the violent shouts finally stop as the other nurses worked to soothe and reassure startled and upset patients who’d been disturbed by all of the shouting.

“Well that was fun,” Gen muttered and then blinked when suddenly Jensen had whirled and was in her face.

“Where is he?” he demanded, anger now melting away to fear and worry; eyes looking around the empty room quickly for signs of either Jared or the baby. “Gen? Damn it! Where is Jared?”

A hand landed on his arm had Jensen whirling to send his glare at the senior doctor who merely raised an eyebrow in warning for him to curb his temper.

“I’ll take you to them if you settle your butt down and lower your voice,” the dark haired older woman replied easily, motioning Gen to go help with calming the other patients down while motioning Jensen to follow her. “I’d already had the boy moved to another floor which is lucky but when security called to tell me that some man was on the maternity floor raising hell he got more scared than he already was.”

Sam Ferris had been the presiding doctor at the hospital for more than 10 years. She’d seen plenty of trauma and abuse come through her doors and it took a lot these days to pull her heart strings but the moment Danneel Harris had given her the story about her newest patient she’d felt the tug.

She’s also known Jensen for a number of years so she knew how closed off emotionally he’d been since his last relationship had gone wrong. Sam had listened to Danneel’s version of things but had withheld her own judgment until she could see the two together.

The moment she’d seen Jensen’s face as he confronted Jared’s ex-boyfriend, she could see the change in him and hoped that it could last for both of their sakes. “You know he’s been abused,” she spoke as she led him to a different elevator. “From what little I’ve been able to get out of him and from what I’ve seen of his other hospital records since they’re all in the system I honestly don’t think there’s been a time when he hasn’t been abused in some way, either mentally or physically.”

“Why was he moved from the maternity floor?” Jensen demanded, nerves straining now as they stepped out onto a floor for more serious cases. “Just how bad hurt is he, Sam?”

“Oh, Jared’s got some serious bruises as well as some infection that’ll heal now with proper treatment but I put him on this floor because he was so undernourished and dehydrated as well as I thought it might be better for him if I could put him in a private room since he’s so jumpy and frightened about someone taking him and hurting his baby,” the no nonsense doctor eyed Jensen curiously. “I take it I just met the source of that fear?”

“Yeah, that was the bastard who’s been putting Jared down and hurting him for the last few years from what I got outta him,” Jensen nodded, not impressed with Tom Welling as anything more than a bully. “He threatened both Jared and the baby so that’s why Jared’s been running but you know Welling’s type, Sam. He’s fine with dumping someone but he’ll never be the dumpee so to speak. Can…can I see him?”

Sam smiled gently while pushing open a door. “You’re who I’ve been waiting for,” she replied, nodding into the room. “When he got scared, he took the baby and hid. Now that you’re here maybe you can convince him to get back into bed.”

As soon as Jensen stepped into the private room he could see the empty baby bed as well as the disheveled hospital bed as if the young man who should have been in it had gotten out of it in a hurry. A quick look around the room told him where to look first.

“Jared?” he called, careful to keep his voice low and his tone gentle as he knelt in front of the closed bathroom door that he suspected was where Jared had thought to hide in order to keep himself and his son safe. “Hey, it’s Jensen. If I promise that the cops hauled that asshole outta here in cuffs and that he can’t hurt either of you, can I open the door?” he asked while listening closely for any sounds, starting to get concerned at first until he heard a soft but shaky voice shushing the baby. “Jay? C’mon, sweetheart. Please? I swear you’re safe and I’ll be here with you now. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”

There was silence for several long moments. Jensen was about to snarl that he told Danneel to stay with Jared until he got to the hospital when he heard a click of a knob being turned and slowly the door opened a crack.

“J…Jensen?” Jared’s voice was soft, shaky and also showing more of his Texas roots in his fear. “Are…are you alone? Is…is he gone?”

“Yeah, he’s gone,” Jensen confirmed, not making an attempt to open the door himself; giving Jared a chance to reassure himself that it was safe enough. “Dr. Ferris is with me but she’ll stay back until you feel safe enough to come out. Do you have the baby, Jay?”

Jared looked down at the wide eyed infant he was cradling to his chest who was sucking on Jared’s thumb and clearly not happy that nothing was coming out to fill his belly. “Yeah,” he murmured, still a little in awe and shocked that this perfect little boy had come from him. “I-I think he’s hungry though but…I got scared when I found out Tom had come here and I…I wanted you and…”

“I know, baby, I know,” Jensen took a chance and slipped a finger into the small gap the door allowed him to feel it touched as if testing to be sure he was real. “I got here as quick as I could. I’m sorry that asshole picked the right hospital but he didn’t get close to you and…if you’d press charges and let the police do their job he’d never hurt you again.”

“Tom knows too many people. He’d buy his way outta it and then…then he’d be really angry and it would just make it worse,” Jared slowly pushed the door open because he wanted to see Jensen, eyes heavy still and wide with fear and pain. “I’ll never be safe, Jen.”

“You’re not in Sacramento now, Jay. He doesn’t own the cops here. My friend is the Chief of Police and I can promise you that JD and his officers hate bullies. If you press charges and filed a restraining order he’d make certain the charges stuck. I’ll make certain you and the baby are safe too,” Jensen knew this was pushing things too fast but he also knew something had to be done before Welling did go too far with his hate and rage. “I know it’s scary right now but if you don’t take a stand now he will always have that power over you. You and this little one will never be free or feel safe…by the way, have you named him yet? I kind of think using his name would be nice.”

Jared blushed a little at forgetting to mention that he had actually named his son. “Umm, yeah, his name’s Tristan,” he admitted, lowering his eyes as he took a huge leap of faith. “I was hoping to maybe give him your middle name since if it hadn’t been for you finding us and staying with us we both would’ve died out there,” he heard the soft inhale of breath and took it as another mistake. “I’m sorry. I know that was presumptuous. You don’t know me and you’ll…huh?”

A hand curving over his jaw to lift it back up took him by surprise as Jensen eased closer and also rested his other hand protectively over the baby’s back. “I’m honored that you want to use my middle name as the middle name for your son, Jared,” he murmured, not expecting the rush of emotion that had hit him at the request. “It’s Ross…which isn’t the greatest middle name by any means.”

“Tristan Ross Padalecki,” Jared’s lips curved into his first real smile, allowing his dimples to be revealed as he looked up and met deep green eyes. “It suits him…right?”

“Yeah, it suits him,” Jensen met the smile with one of his own, hearing a soft cough and nodded back to the room. “Can I help you back to the bed, Jared?” he asked quietly, prepared to give the man time to accept his safety but also knowing what was best for both father and son. “I’ll stay right here and won’t leave you tonight.”

“They…they won’t let you stay,” Jared knew the rules of hospitals from when he was a child and they’d always made his Momma leave if he happened to stay overnight after something his father did hurt the boy bad enough. “The rules…”

“I volunteer here enough on my days off that I think Dr. Sam will bend a few for us this time…won’t you, Sam?” Jensen aimed his best smile toward the doctor, seeing the woman roll her eyes. “Of course…I could always have Chad take my shift the next time and…”

“Don’t you try to blackmail me with that overly hyper boy who nearly blew something up the last time he got near the pharmacy,” Sam returned but laughed as another set of big sad eyes were aimed her way when Jensen slowly coaxed Jared out of the bathroom.

As the doctor who’d treated Jensen five years earlier and had seen his road to recovery hit some heartbreaking snags it pleased her greatly to see how he was with Jared. She just hoped neither young man ended up hurt in the end.

“Do you want me to go get a bottle for Tristan or do you want to try to feed him yourself first?” she asked gently, in her best ‘Mom’ tone instead of her doctor tone as she didn’t want to frightened this skittish young man as he laid back on the bed with his son still held against his chest. It was plain to her that both needed some food in their bellies.

Jensen had raised the head of the bed up so Jared would be propped up, reaching into the small crib for a soft blue blanket to lay over the baby boy as he could feel the cool air blowing in the room; making a note to find the thermostat and turn that down some.

He felt Jared go still at the question and ached for how young and innocent his new friend truly was. “Jared, did you talk with anyone at a clinic or something about any of this stuff?” he questioned curiously, quick to catch a lowering head so Jared would know he wasn’t condemning him for not knowing too much.

“Once at a clinic the nurse, a nice one who didn’t think I was wrong for having him, told me some stuff and gave me some books to read but it’s all in my bag and…I don’t know where it is right now,” Jared admitted softly, chewing his lip as if unsure before looking up with tears shining. “I…I want to do right by him, Jen. I want to be a good parent but…but what if I don’t learn fast enough and I hurt him? I’d never hurt…”

“You won’t hurt Tristan, Jay,” Jensen reassured him, sitting up close so he could slip a careful arm around Jared and ignoring the curious looks Sam was shooting him at his obvious change in behavior. “Actually, most of this will come naturally once you get used to it and know you’re safe. This part? If you choose to try to feed him yourself?” he smiled. “You’re body should’ve already adjusted for this change. Some guys can’t feed a newborn but others can just like a woman can. If you want to try…I can help you.”

Sam had been about to suggest for this first time that she go get a bottle as well as something light for Jared to eat when she stopped in mid-step to throw a openly concerned look at Jensen. “Jensen? Can I speak with you in the hall a second?” she asked mildly.

“Is it wrong that he offered to show me or help me, Dr. Sam?” Jared asked, not wanting the other man to leave him alone in the room right then. “I…I mean, I know I should probably be embarrassed or something but he watched me give birth so I think that was probably worse than seeing this. Or did I…”

“She’s just worried about me offering,” Jensen replied, ignoring the woman as he lightly rubbed a hand down a tense arm until he felt Jared relax more into his shoulder as the baby boy began to sniffle. “I’ll explain why later but it’s got nothing to do with you. Now, do you want me to show you so this little guy can get something in his belly?”

“Please?” Jared had felt the various changes his body had undergone shortly after he realized he was expecting a baby. He’d often felt how sore or sensitive his chest had gotten but hadn’t given much thought to the why or reasons until now as he let the other man help him slide the top of the too thin hospital supplied gown aside. “I’m…I mean…I know you saw a lot earlier but I’ve never been good looking so…did you just growl at me?” he turned his head to catch just a brief flash of heat in Jensen’s eyes but didn’t feel fear like he normally would’ve.

Jensen had indeed just growled but not at Jared. He was aiming that growl at Welling and every other asshole who’d never taken the time to tell Jared just how good looking he was; especially when he needed to hear it the most.

“No, not at you, babe,” he shook the feeling off as well the nerves he could feel building as Sam handed him a towel; feeling her hand squeeze his shoulder before slipping out to go find something for Jared to eat. “I’ll tell you exactly how good looking you are now and how good you looked even earlier once you’ve had a chance to rest and process all of this. Now let’s feed your son.”

Jared expected to be nervous but as Jensen talked him through the best way to hold Tristan up and just let the baby’s own natural response to him take over he was stunned at the feelings that swamped him when he watched his son find and latch onto a nipple to begin to suckle; one tiny fist kneading.

“He’s doing it,” he whispered, stunned at both the sight and the feelings. He looked over to see the equally raw emotion on Jensen’s face as his hand moved to adjust Jared’s when he supported the baby’s head. “I’m doing it.”

“I knew you could,” Jensen murmured, giving a whisper soft kiss to the top of Jared’s head as he rested it against his shoulder while they both watched Tristan drink his fill. “You’re going to be a great father, Jared. This little boy will always be loved.”

“I do love him and I’ll be a better parent than my Dad was to me,” Jared nodded, tracing his son’s cheek with a soft finger as he tried not to worry too much about what he’d do once he was released from the hospital. “If I pressed charges or filed that thing you mentioned…would that keep him away from us?” he asked, hope evident. “I…I didn’t name Tom on the birth certificate, Jensen. I just want to stay away from him and I never want him near my son.

“I…I know you probably know this just from how we met but…I don’t have anything except what’s in that bag, Jen. I have no real money, no place to go after this,” he looked down, away from Jensen’s eyes as the fear began to come back stronger with the thoughts of being on the streets in a strange place with a newborn. “I know it’s a lot to ask since we’ve barely known one another a full day but if you know of anyone who might be willing to rent us a room…I can work around a house or paint or nearly anything but cook since I don’t cook real well and…” he stopped to take a shaky breath when a hand squeezed his in a way that seemed to calm his nerves down enough to slow his breathing.

Jensen had suspected that all of Jared’s world consisted of the lone battered bag that had been left in the van and was now in his jeep. He also knew the young man would need a safe place to stay until he could get back on his feet once the matter of his ex-boyfriend was dealt with.

As he watched Jared’s face pale and could see him start to get worked up Jensen was quick to cut that off by gently squeezing Jared’s hand. “I said I’d take care of things and I meant that. You and Tristan can stay with me if you want to until you get things straightened out and Welling’s dealt with,” he knew this offer would have his friends shocked but it just seemed natural to him. “No strings. I have a couple spare rooms that you can have for you and this little guy.”

“You’d…let us stay with you?” Jared was still stunned that anyone could be this nice and still be real. “I…I can’t get a job this soon but…I’ll see if there are things I can do from your place like maybe drawing or graphic design or…even moving furniture. I’ll make sure to earn my keep and I’ll pay you back, Jensen. I’ll…”

“Jay, I don’t need you to worry about paying me back. I want to help you. I…” Jensen paused to consider how much he wanted to say this soon. He knew he might be rushing things and he knew that the last thing Jared needed was to have some strange guy telling him that he was attracted to him.

He was saved when suddenly the baby hiccupped and spit up a little which effectively freaked his father out. “What happened? Why’d he do that? What did I do wrong?” Jared asked in rush, trying not to drop his son when his hands began to shake when they were steadied by strong steady ones.

“He just got a little air bubble. He’s fine, Jay,” Jensen assured the nervous father as he supported the baby with one hand and showed Jared how to hold him up to lightly tap his back. “Plus, he’s a baby. You will be losing shirts to little issues like that for a while so always have a towel over your shoulder when you burp him.”

Jared calmed down once Tristan burped and appeared to be falling to sleep since he got his little belly full for the time being. He glanced to the crib as if debating putting his son in it when Jensen eased off the bed to move the item closer to the bed and then helped Jared place the sleeping infant down to sleep.

“He’s really a beautiful baby, Jay,” Jensen murmured, touching a tuft of dark hair with just the tip of his finger and surprised that while he was feeling emotional it was more over having shared this experience with Jared, that he’d get to help the young father along this new path in his life instead of the pain he thought he might. “You’re a lucky man.”

“I wouldn’t have him if you hadn’t found us when you did,” Jared adjusted the tiny blue blanket a few times before his own body reminded him of how weak and hurt he still was from before on top of just giving birth. “I feel like I owe you so much and I don’t know how to begin to repay you.”

Sitting back beside Jared on the bed, Jensen swallowed the sudden lump in his throat to smile warmly. “Just promise me that no matter what might or might not happen between us, or what happens in your life that you will always love this baby; that he will never know fear or abuse by anyone around you.”

“I’d die before I let anyone hurt him like I’ve been hurt,” Jared assured him. It was only then that he noticed the slight shake to fingers that had been so steady before. “Jen? Can…can I ask you something?” he asked slowly, settling more against the older man’s shoulder and feeling Jensen’s arm tighten when it slipped around him.

“Yeah, you can ask,” Jensen suspected what it might be as Jared was smarter than he gave himself credit for and would’ve picked up on some of the things said around him.

“Who…hurt you?” Jared wasn’t sure why he asked or how he knew but there was just something in the way the other firefighters had spoken and then some things Dr. Sam had said as well as things Jensen had said. “I mean…it just feels like…never mind. It’s not my business. I’m nosy or so Tom said so just…”

Jensen’s lips curved into a small smile that was still tinged with a sadness he thought he’d shaken years earlier. “Okay, first off…nothing that ass said about you is true and I want you to stop knocking yourself down over it,” he began slowly, settling back against the headboard to feel Jared curling into his side more and was surprised at how right that felt. “And…you have a right to ask about me. I mean, if you’re going to live with me for however long you choose to then you should know about me.

“I’ll tell you some things now but…for a couple things I’d rather not do it here if that’s okay,” he saw Jared nod his agreement, watching as long fingers cautiously touched his until their palms could meet. “Yes, the reason I can understand so much about how you’ve felt or how you feel now as you try to find yourself is because seven years ago I was you…and five years I learned the hard way just how right my friends were about the guy I thought loved me.”

This wasn’t a topic that Jensen broached willingly or he hadn’t since he’d woken in the hospital to discover not only had his so-called boyfriend nearly beaten him to death but the violent attack had also cost Jensen something even more precious.

It was this loss that forced the once outgoing young man to pull away and stick to himself. Jensen had a circle of close friends but he’d vowed to steer clear of relationships…until he met the young man beside him and began to think maybe he could trust again, that he could love again.

Jensen knew there were things he needed to share, one huge thing in particular but wanted to wait until they could be alone for that. Right then he was finding it oddly relaxing to sit beside Jared to watch the exhausted man fall to sleep.

“I know what I’m doing, Sam,” he spoke softly, sensing that the doctor had returned even if he hadn’t heard the door open. “I know the risks. I just want to help him get back on his feet and away from that bastard. He’s not like Jason.”

Doctor Samantha Ferris knew that but she still worried about both former and current patient. “Can you be honest with him?” she asked while placing a tray with covered dishes close to the bed. “Can you tell him everything about Jason? And the results of what he did? Not telling him wouldn’t be fair to either one of you.”

“I’ll tell him the rest once I get him settled at home,” Jensen knew before Jared woke up, once Sam got to her office, he’d be getting texts from Chris, Danneel, and Chad questioning his judgment on that one. “Can you call JD and ask him to swing by?” he asked her, knowing she would and explaining. “I’ll want to tell him what’s going on and hopefully when he wakes up Jared will still have the courage to file a restraining order.”

“If he does, you better be prepared to help him cause that one didn’t look to be the kind to take that kind of insult lying down,” Sam warned seriously. She’d seen the type more than once and had patched up those who’d been hurt in their rampages…Jensen included.

Jensen glanced down at Jared’s peaceful face and then over to the baby sleeping much like his father was. “I’ll protect them until he’s on his feet, Sam,” he promised softly, gently brushing the pad of his thumb along Jared’s cheek. “I know what it’s like to be scared and also to lose something to the likes of guys like Welling and Jason. It won’t happen to him. He’s got a chance to raise his baby safely and I’ll help him anyway I can with that.”

“And the first time he asks you to hold that baby while he gets something or just offers him to you? Will you be able to do that, Jensen?” Sam saw the slight twitch on Jensen’s face and knew she was pushing too far when that wasn’t her intention. “Honey, I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see either of you hurt and since I know you refused to even go close to Mike and Matt’s twins…”

“It was too soon then. I…I’ll explain to Jared why I might be distant at times but…it doesn’t feel like it has, Sam,” Jensen kept his eyes on the sleeping infant before moving back to the man beside him. “None of this feels like I thought it would or what the others keep thinking it might. I…I feel right about him, about this and I don’t know why.”

As a physician with a lot of time seeing people heal and cope she thought she might know what was happening but chose to keep it to herself for the moment. Instead as she stepped closer to lay a blanket over both young men she gently patted Jensen’s jaw that was just beginning to show some stubble with a smile.

“Just trust your heart. You might be surprised where it’ll lead you both,” she told him, adding as she checked of Jared’s vitals and then the baby. “I’ll go make that call but you make sure if he eats that you eat too.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jensen returned with a slow curve of his lips and just a bit more Texas in his voice. He waited until the door closed to let his gaze drift back down to see that Jared’s hand had closed over something around his neck and it was only then that Jensen realized that sometime he’d slipped the medal on he’d given him to hold.

Now as if seeking that same feeling of security in his dreams, Jared had reached for the medal. He made a small sound when strong fingers closed over that handing holding it and relaxed further. “Jen?” he murmured sleepily, eyes trying to open but sleep still had too strong a hold.

“Shh, go back to sleep, Jay,” Jensen murmured softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up and it’ll all be good for both of you. Promise.”

As he watched the leftover tension slowly leave Jared, Jensen silently offered prayers that he could keep that promise and also keep this new family he was slowly falling in love with safe. Not only from the danger that could come if Jared took a stand but, also the past that Jensen still feared might come back one day.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting a tissue warning on this one. There may also be a trigger warning. There's mention of past abuse as well so be aware of this.

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Four**

“We don’t have a car seat. It’s illegal for me to hold him in a car so how can I take him out of the hospital until I can get a seat or…” Jared Padalecki had been running on nervous energy all morning and it showed now as he sat in the hospital policy wheelchair with Dr. Samantha Ferris beside him waiting for his ride.

“Jensen said he’d taken care of that, honey. Just relax and be glad I’m letting you out of here this soon,” the dark haired fiery doctor replied while squeezing a tight shoulder. “You’re still really weak and a few of those bruises still need looked after so you make sure to let Jensen do that.”

Jared carefully adjusted the little knit cap on his son’s head as he looked out the tinted glass of the doors. “Jensen’s done so much for me already, Dr. Sam. I’ll never be able to pay him back,” he looked up at her. “I know what Jen and the police say but…do you think I did the right thing by filing those papers against Tom?”

“Jared, I think you did the only thing you could do in order to keep you and your son safe from someone who clearly didn’t love you and would just hurt you again if he was allowed,” Sam had been there as Jared told Sheriff JD Morgan about Tom, about the years of constant mental and physical abuse until he finally got scared for the life of his baby and had run from the possessive man.

She had also been present when the first attempt at intimidating Jared had come by a loud, furious, very foul mouthed phone call threatening to make the scared young man regret the day he was born for thinking he could do what he’d done to him. Sam had stayed with a shaken Jared while Jensen had phoned the cops to inform them that the no contact order had been broken.

“I just want you to focus on getting stronger so you can take care of this little one,” she was saying as she watched Jensen’s jeep pull up followed by a much newer black SUV like vehicle that had her frowning as Chris Kane stepped out; feeling Jared tense again.

In the last few days the doctor had come to see that while visits from Danneel Harris or Chad Michael Murray or even Michael Rosenbaum and his partner, Matt Cohen, didn’t seem to bother Jared too much, she’d noticed that he was more wary about Chris being around.

“Chris might talk all deep and gruff and he may act tough but I promise you and Jensen can promise you that he would never hurt you,” she told her patient softly, watching for what she knew she’d see the moment Jensen came around the front of the jeep to step close to the door and saw them. She watched Jared’s eyes light up as the firefighter smiled and waved. “He’ll take care of you both, Jared. Jensen might just need some time with a few things, especially in the beginning.”

Jared still had questions but accepted that his new friend, who was being so generous to let him move into his place with a newborn, wanted to wait to talk more about things and had agreed.

He wasn’t certain what in Jensen’s past had made the others so worried about his choice to take Jared and Tristan in but would make certain that nothing hurt the other man.

“Hey there,” Jensen stepped through the sliding doors of the hospital to smile at the doctor before kneeling down to be more on eye level with Jared. “You ready to get out of here finally?” he asked, running a gentle finger down the baby’s hand to smile more when tiny fingers tried to latch onto it.

“Yeah, past ready,” Jared appreciated all of the care that Dr. Sam, Gen, and the other nurses had given both him and his son but his fear of hospitals from years before was still strong so he was more than ready to be released. “I…I was telling Dr. Sam though that I don’t have an infant seat for Tristan so…”

“I’ve got that covered,” Jensen assured him, standing to slip his hands over the chairs handles but only after he let one move across the back of Jared’s neck to offer a gentle squeeze. “Matt even showed me how to get it installed so it would stay secure in the back seat.”

Sam followed them out to notice that Chris was tossing things from the SUVs trunk into the back of the jeep while moving things from the jeep into the SUV. “Jensen, your jeep doesn’t have a backseat or what I’d call one,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, I know,” Jensen wheeled the chair past his jeep to where the SUV was parked behind it. He parked the wheelchair; put the brakes on to open the back door where a new looking infant car set was already in place. “That’s why I swapped with Chris. This does have a back seat and airbags and a fully functioning A/C and heater and…”

“He means the SUV is baby safe and won’t run the risk of breaking down or losing a door or a muffler like this piece of junk could at any given moment,” Chris Kane spoke up, coming around the back of the vehicle to toss the keys to the SUV to a smirking Jensen.

The senior firefighter made sure to keep his distance as he’d already picked up on how Jared seemed to get more on edge when he was around in comparison to how he was if Dani, Chad or Mike visited.

“Yeah, it’s in such bad shape that you’ve been wanting to get your hands on it for a year,” Jensen shot back, steadying Jared as he stood with the baby in his arms; keeping in between his teammate and Jared as if sensing the young man’s unease around the gruffer speaking Chris. “You switched plates right?”

“I switched the plates while you were getting a fast course in how to install a car seat from Mike this morning, dude,” Chris nodded, hiding his grin as he watched the way Jensen’s hand never moved from some form of contact with Jared as if needing to reassure them both.

From the moment he’d first seen the two together and since then, Chris had gotten the feeling that Jensen’s feelings for this often shy young Texan was a lot stronger than he thought his friend suspected but when he watched him hover protectively while the cooing infant was strapped in he was certain of what he was seeing. Then all Chris could do was hope for the best.

Jared easily figured out the mechanics of the seat to secure his son when he looked between Jensen and Chris as the conversation sank in. “Wait…you switched cars just to have a backseat for Tristan’s seat?” he blinked, watching as Chris smirked and Jensen coughed. “Jensen? Did you just switch cars for this trip or…did you sell your jeep?”

“Not sell, traded,” Jensen corrected, quick to shoot his friend a sharp look to keep his mouth shut about the actual cash that had exchanged hands. “And it was time I upgraded anyway. I wanted something more reliable and Chris wanted a chance to have a new project to restore so it all works out for the best,” he gave the seat a sharp look to be sure the baby was safe before shutting the door with as little noise as possible. “Jay, stop worrying.”

“I just…I just don’t want you to do something you wouldn’t have if not for us,” Jared wasn’t used to anyone doing anything for him much less even the simple things Jensen had done just by being with them. “I mean, you’ve done so much for us already that…”

A finger touched his lips to halt the quiet words. Jensen recognized the confusion and worry and reminded himself again that this was a young man who’d been abused so much of his life that it might be difficult to accept Jensen’s actions at face value.

“I told you that I don’t want you to worry about what I do or the reasons I do anything for you,” he slid his hand down to give Jared’s hand a gentle squeeze, refusing to do more right then.

In the past few days the two men had talked more but mostly it was just about little things to try to get a better knowledge of each other. Jared had been more open and honest talking to Jensen than he could recall ever being with anyone, even the shrink he’d been taken to see as a teenager.

They’d shared their Texas roots and how Jensen still had some family back there while Jared’s mother was his only real family that he cared to see as she’d been the one to come clear to California to report him missing.

They’d talked about hobbies, likes, dislikes and learned that they really did have a lot in common that would make living together in whatever way a little easier…once Jared got used to thinking that he wouldn’t be hurt for speaking out of turn or at the will of another’s temper.

Now he was stunned that Jensen had just switched vehicles to make it easier and safer to bring him and Tristan to his home as well as back to see the baby’s doctor who was a fun and quirky man that Dr. Sam had brought to see him one afternoon.

“I…I don’t know what to say to this,” he murmured, eyes dropping to watch Jensen’s hand slip into his without care to the others who were watching them; something else he noticed that the older man did naturally and without care.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jensen opened the passenger door to give a gentle nudge to encourage Jared into the SUV. “Buckle up and I’ll get you guys home. I think I crossed everything off the list you gave me as well as anything else Mike tossed in.”

Jared had just clicked the seatbelt when he looked up with widening eyes. “Huh? We just need a bed and maybe a baby tub, Jen. You didn’t go spend a lot of money on stuff…did you?”

“No, I swear that I didn’t spend a lot of money,” Jensen reassured him, ignoring the snort he heard from behind him but choosing not to explain things to Jared right then. He’d do that once they got home. “I spent a little money on a few new things and a coat of paint for the walls in the one room. Nothing major and if you don’t like anything we’ll change it…just wait until we get home. I’ll…answer those questions you’ve had then.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want me to know, Jen,” Jared had heard the unease in Jensen’s deep voice and that worried him because for as long as he’d known him…a matter of days, the man had always been confident. Only when someone hinted at Jensen’s past, the reason his friends seemed so worried about Jensen getting involved with him and his problems did that tone come out. “I…I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or bring back anything bad or…”

“Shhh,” Jensen whispered, stopping his words with a hand on the side of his face as he leaned into the SUV to meet worried hazel eyes. “I won’t lie and say that what I’ll tell you will be easy because as Chris could tell you it’s something I’ve avoided speaking too much of for five years but…you’ll have questions and I want to be honest with you so if there might be chance of anything between us you’ll understand things. Just…wait until we’re home?”

Jared nodded, placing his hand over the one still cupping his jaw. “Just don’t hurt yourself telling me things that might wait.”

It still amazed Jensen at the open honesty and genuine feelings that Jared expressed despite what he’d been through. He felt his eyes burn at the depth of emotion he saw in those big eyes but swallowed it back for the moment. He gaze a soft smile before pulling back to shut the door and gave the doctor a nod. “I know when they’re both due back and if anything happens I know your number but he should be fine.”

“I know Jared’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about right now,” Sam muttered, slapping Chris in the arm before he opened his mouth in the wrong way. “Let him handle it,” she urged the other man as Jensen got into the SUV to drive off. “It’s been five years and we’ve all been encouraging him to get past what Jason did.”

“He jumped from simply finding a guy he might be interested in to finding a ready-made family, Doc,” Chris complained, fingers running through his long black hair restlessly; worry plain. “Dani said it took him hours after he finally opened that room to be able to step inside. He’s not over it and he’s got no clue if he can handle having a baby in that house when in his heart he never got over losing her thanks to that jackass.”

“Just let Jensen face what he can because I think in the end they could be good for one another,” Sam replied, turning to go back into the hospital when she paused to look back. “If you stop over there, don’t scare Jared by growling so much or else Jensen will kick you out. He’s protective of them.”

Chris rolled his eyes but nodded his agreement. He knew his friend was protective. It was that protective streak that he feared would get him hurt if Jared’s past didn’t let go as easily as Jensen hoped it would by a few pieces of paper barring Tom Welling access to Jared or the baby.

Jensen drove carefully through the good size town of New River, which was about 30 miles out of Sacramento, toward the outside where he lived. He wasn’t sure who kept glancing in the backseat more; him or Jared but the baby was just looking wide-eyed as he played with a small stuffed toy Gen had given him and didn’t appear scared.

“Wow,” Jared had been looking around with the same amazed look as he took in the trees and casual scenery that Sacramento or San Antonio never had. When he noticed the two-story old fashioned home they pulled up in front of he was both shocked and awed. “You live here?” he asked, taking in the shutters that clearly were original to the house and that could close from inside the house. “Alone?”

“Yeah, it was my aunt’s house and she left it to me when she died,” Jensen stared up at the rebuilt porch, the loose shingles and all the work he still had to do on it to bring it back to how he’d like it to be. “I’ve been trying to restore it but it’s slow going,” he glanced over to add quietly. “It’s been just me for the past five years if you don’t count the nights Chad crashes on my couch cause he lost his apartment keys. Though I told him he had to quit that now.”

Jared didn’t mind the often hyper and opinionated blond guy who liked to make faces to make Tristan smile. He actually liked most of Jensen’s friends…he was just wary of Chris at times. “Is…that when whatever happened to hurt you…happened?” he asked quietly, slipping out of the SUV to begin to unbuckle his son while Jensen went to unlock the house and then come back to grab the things out of the vehicle.

“Yeah, basically,” Jensen agreed, wondering how in the hell they’d gotten so much stuff in just the few days that Jared and Tristan had been in the hospital but then recalled that nearly anytime Chad, Dani, Mike or others had come by they’d brought something. “How fast will he grow?” he asked curiously, eyeing the array of sleepers that looked to be too big for the small infant right then.

“Probably not too fast for a little while,” Jared wasn’t sure, standing still after he lifted his son out of the seat to steady his still weak legs when he felt a hand touch the small of his back while Jensen’s other hand went to the arm supporting the baby. “I still feel woozy at times but Dr. Sam said that’ll go away.”

“It will once you get some regular sleep and start eating more than you have been,” Jensen had watched Jared pitch a very stubborn will against the equally hard headed doctor when it came to getting him to eat more than a bite or two of nearly anything…except for when Jensen had slipped out and brought him back a salad and a burger.

“Didn’t you say that I won’t be getting regular sleep for the next five or ten years?” Jared countered with a teasing smile, letting Jensen offer support as they walked up the walk to the front porch and then into the home that actually surprised Jared by how warm and cozy it felt.

He was expecting to feel the usual chilly, sterile feel that he did whenever he’d enter the place he shared with Tom or even his parents own home back in Texas. Instead as he stepped through the front door he smelled a combination of smells that just instantly put him in mind of Jensen and of…home.

“A lack of sleep due to baby though doesn’t count,” Jensen returned, pushing the door closed with his foot and locking it out of instinct. He saw Jared looking around and let him take his time to adjust to the new surroundings. “I’ll show you around later but I bet you’d like to get this little guy settled and maybe rest while I see what I can cook for dinner?”

Jared really did want to look around the old Victorian home. He enjoyed drawing but he also liked old houses of this time period. He also knew he needed to think like a new father and find out where he and his son would be sleeping.

“You could’ve just put us in any room, Jensen,” he noticed how the staircase railing still felt smooth and knew it was new polished wood which told him how careful Jensen was about redoing his home instead of just putting basic lumber in. “I don’t want you to go to any trouble and I swear to try to keep him quiet so you can sleep or…you do that a lot.”

Jensen had noticed it had become an easy habit between them that when Jared started to ramble on nervously or if he got upset that he’d place a single finger over his lips to stop whatever he was rambling on about. Of course as Jensen also knew it was also the safest way to shut his new friend up while ignoring the one way he was suddenly getting curious to try but had held off from.

“That’s because you worry too much and get yourself all worked up over nothing,” he murmured, wondering if it was just his imagination that he saw the same look in Jared’s eyes that he was feeling. “I knew what I was getting myself into when I offered you a safe place to stay, Jared. I’m not worried about Tristan keeping me awake. His room is actually in between mine and the one I said you could use so in case you do sleep I…I can get up with him if that would be alright with you.”

“But your friend Mike said I’d probably have to pay you to change a diaper or hold him or…,” Jared blinked at the flash of anger he saw in deep green eyes but before he could tense or worry the look was gone and Jensen was blowing out a hard breath about morons. “I mean, I know you held him that one time in the hospital while Gen was changing the crib but…”

“And it confused you when Chad, the bigmouth idiot, nearly let his eyes bug out of his head when he came in to see me holding him,” Jensen nodded, understanding. He let his fingers touch an antique glass doorknob to a room in between two others. “My friends mean well but they’re not subtle in their shock that I’m doing this…and I guess I owe you the answer as to why.”

Jared was shaking his head as he followed Jensen into a room that he expected to be a simple bedroom; it hadn’t dawned on him yet that Jensen had said Tristan’s room would be between his and Jared’s own until he stepped in to see a fully decorated nursery complete with old fashioned wooden crib, a changing table, a rocking chair and other assorted baby furniture as well as toys.

The room looked brand new. There was still a hint, just a faint smell of paint from the soft blue and green walls but before he could freak out that Jensen had gone way too far or overboard he realized the furniture, while newly cleaned and polished, had been sitting in their places long enough to have sunk into the thick plush carpet that was a cross between a mauve and a lilac…totally at odds with the wall.

“We can get new carpet later on to match the walls or whatever you’d like but…I ran out of time when Sam decided you could both be released,” Jensen sat the one bag with most of the baby things in it near the crib, his fingers running lightly over the wood. “This is one of those cribs that can grow with him. I cleaned it up and did buy a new mattress and covers for it since…I didn’t want to confuse him by having pink blankets and a pink mobile over the crib.”

Looking around the room while Jensen went to close the window to keep any air from entering the room and possibly hitting Tristan, Jared slowly began to put various pieces of the puzzle together and could feel his chest tightening.

“This…this was already a nursery,” he could see the faint outline of little rabbits under the blue paint and realized that this must have been originally meant for a little girl. “Jen?” he looked to see the barely hidden emotion on Jensen’s rugged face; the pain that would never fully go away and it suddenly hit him why so many of Jensen’s friends had been worried about his choices. “Did you…I mean…do you…did you…” he stumbled on the words that didn’t want to come out because Jared had no idea how to ask what he was afraid to.

“I told you that seven years ago I was dating a guy who I thought I loved and who I also thought loved me. I’d met him in college and…like you I was totally blown away,” Jensen began slowly, nodding that it was okay for Jared to lay the baby in the crib. “Jason was charming. He was a singer in a college band that I played guitar for so I thought we had stuff in common…I didn’t figure out how wrong I was until a year later when he put me in the hospital the first time.

“We’d been dating steady. I didn’t see what Chris or Chad or Dani did about him. I saw a guy that I thought loved me because at the beginning Jason encouraged me to pursue my music as well as a degree in medicine. It wasn’t until we graduated college and I was accepted into a program that would mean more schooling that he began to change,” he moved away from the crib toward the door, not sure if he could talk about this here with Tristan slowly falling to sleep in a bed that he clearly felt safe and secure in. “Can we…do this somewhere else, Jay? I…I just don’t feel right talking about this here. I don’t want anything negative coming close to your son.”

Jared knew the baby had been fed, burped and changed so he should sleep for a little bit. He also sensed Jensen was uneasy in the room and nodded. He covered the infant, pressed a soft kiss to his head before following his friend out of the room. “Would you rather do this downstairs?” he asked nervously, not liking to see Jensen this tense or unhappy. “Jensen, you don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to.”

“Normally I wouldn’t. Normally I wouldn’t even come close to telling you any of the things that I have but it’s been different with you since the second we met,” Jensen nodded to the room to the left side of the nursery. “We can get a baby monitor so you’ll be able to hear him at night or through the house. It’s not much but I hope it’ll be okay.”

The bedroom made Jared’s eyes widen. The room, like the house, had a warm feeling to it. It also had a massive wooden bed with matching dressers. The deep blue quilt looked homemade and made his throat tighten a little as it reminded him of his own grandma’s place back in San Antonio before his father turned the family against him.

“This is…I can sleep here?” he was stunned. Not even the rooms at the condo he’d shared with Tom ever looked this nice or felt as warm and welcoming as this home did. “I mean, it’s so nice. I wouldn’t want to mess anything up or…if I happen to have Tristan in here he might spit up on the quilt and…”

“It’s a bedroom, Jay. It’s meant to be used, lived in. I don’t want a museum. I want a home and…this hasn’t really felt like one in a long time,” Jensen motioned to the bag that was Jared’s that was sitting on the bed. “You’ll need more clothes and stuff as well as baby stuff and I don’t want you worrying about me paying for that either. I want to help you for as long as you’ll let me.”

“Why?” Jared finally had to ask, sitting on the bed when he felt his legs shake from standing too long and knowing if he laid back right then that he’d be asleep within moments. “Don’t think I’m not grateful for everything you’ve done for us. I am but…it’s so hard to let you when all I’ve known has been put downs and ridicule nearly all my life.

“I’m basically broke. I’ve got few skills that can actually earn me enough of a living to support myself much less my son and I…I want to be able to pay you back in some way, Jensen,” he felt an odd flutter in his belly as Jensen sat down beside him on the bed. “Why do you want to help me when you don’t know me or where I’m from?”

Jensen’s lips curved up into a slow smile as his hand came up to card back through Jared’s hair to clear the too long bangs out of his eyes. “I know what it’s like to be alone and scared, Jay. I know how it feels to think you’re so alone, that no one cares and I don’t want you to ever feel that way. I want you to be able to begin to heal, to bond with that little boy and find the man you want to be. I want to let us get to know one another and see where it goes and to do that I need to tell you why there was a nursery already in this house.”

Jared knew his emotions were still high from the leftover hormones of being pregnant or so Dr. Sam told him so as he felt his throat tighten at the unspoken pain he could hear in Jensen’s voice he blamed it on that and not on the surprising feelings he realized he was forming for the man beside him.

“You…” he couldn’t form the words even as he felt Jensen’s eyes move to watch him curiously. Jared chewed his lip while his hand moved toward Jensen without thinking until he froze. “You…had a baby?”

“Yeah, for all of 79 hours I had a beautiful little girl,” Jensen confirmed, a little surprised that he wasn’t feeling like he normally did when his thoughts turned to this topic. He noticed Jared’s hand and reached out to take it in his. “It wasn’t planned. I’d had plans to go on to get my Master’s degree in sociology before deciding if I wanted to extend into being more than a part time paramedic and firefighter. Jason was too wrapped up in his music to want kids and we’d started to really fight but it happened.

“At first I considered not having the baby because I did have plans for my life and because I knew Jason wasn’t emotionally mature enough to raise a child. I’d talked to some people about maybe adopting because I knew I’d never be able to have an abortion. I just couldn’t do that. Jason was…not happy about any choice. He’d been furious when I finally told him I was pregnant but he calmed down some when I mentioned the adoption,” Jensen still could hear the bitterness and hate in his then boyfriend’s voice during those weeks as they fought more and more and communicated less and less.

He looked beside him to see that Jared was listening but he also felt how tight the younger man was holding onto his hand, as if offering support that Jensen realized very few others but those closest to him had tried to give him back then. “The first time I heard her heartbeat and then the morning I was shaving and felt this tiny little kick I knew that I couldn’t let her go so I called the agency that I’d been talking to, that I hadn’t signed anything with yet and told them I’d changed my mind. That I was keeping my baby and I knew it was the right choice.

“Jason had been away for a month with his band. By the time he got back I’d made that room into a nursery. I thought once I explained things to him; about how I’d go back to school later on and that I could still work a little that he’d see reason and maybe learn to want her as much as I did but…we never got to that stage,” he paused to take a shaky breath, swallowing the lump that had formed as he told Jared of the loud, bitter fights that happened on a constant basis for the next few months between them.

Jensen had spent five years hiding from those memories and now he was bringing it back in vivid color by speaking of it to Jared but the more he did the more he realized some of the pain seemed to be lessening as if he was finally releasing some of the pain he’d been holding onto.

“Jason swore to leave me if I had her. He threatened everything he could think of to make me give her up or abort her but I refused. This was my house so he was actually the one with more to lose and I told him that one day when we were fighting as I was leaving to go see Sam for a check-up. I’d finally had enough of him putting me down or hurting me cause I’d realized the night before that he’d already put me in the hospital more than once and was just getting more violent. I knew if he was willing to hurt me that he could do so much worse to my baby…she was never our baby but always mine…and I told him I wanted him gone by that night or else I’d have him put out.”

“Oh, no,” Jared whispered, his already aching heart getting heavier as he feared where this story was going. “Jen…how far along were you?”

“I was nearly eight and a half months but it had already been a high risk pregnancy due to the stress I was under from the constant fighting and because he’d shoved me down the front steps when I was four months along,” Jensen wondered if Jared knew he’d moved closer to give silent support. “Sam was worried about an early delivery. Chris and Mike wanted to come over and physically put Jason out but I still believed something of the man I’d fallen in love with had to be there and that he’d leave.”

“But he didn’t, did he?” Jared asked quietly, seeing the way Jensen’s other hand was rubbing over the t-shirt that covered his flat and toned stomach as Jared knew he still did even though his son was now born. “He didn’t leave?”

“Oh, he did,” Jensen corrected, lifting his eyes slowly to meet Jared’s. “He left after he beat the hell out of me. He was waiting when I got home and I didn’t see the first fist hit me so I went down. Jason was the kind where he was fine with being the boss but he hated having anyone not back down from him. I’d stood up for myself for the first time ever really. I chosen my child over him and he was pissed. I remember most of the fight. I remember the crap he screamed at me and I remember the terror when I felt him kick me in the side…then I blacked out. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital and knowing even before Chris or Sam told me that Jason had cost me my daughter.”

Jared’s eyes had already filled but when Jensen’s strong voice broke he couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. “He…he kicked you knowing…why would he want to hurt a baby?”

It never made sense to Jared when people hurt or abused kids but especially their own. He couldn’t understand Tom’s hate and he didn’t understand this faceless Jason’s either. All he knew was that Jensen was hurting still for the loss of a little baby girl that he’d so obviously wanted and loved.

“Jason was jealous and spoiled. He wanted all the attention and he hated that I refused him so he decided if I didn’t want him anymore that he’d try to hurt me by taking away what I did want and that was my daughter,” Jensen felt the tears on his cheeks but made no motion to wipe them away just yet but he did lean more into the shaking arm that had eased around him. “Sam told me that Chad and Chris had come by to check on things and found me. I’d already gone into labor while unconscious and they barely got me to the ER before Sam had to do a C-section because the baby and I were both in distress.

“I won’t go into details but the strain on her, the injuries inflicted by Jason’s beating me and then his kicks…she was just too small and weak to survive. I got to hold her a few times and she opened her eyes once to look at me and I know it might sound funny to some but it was like she knew I loved her and when she looked at me the last time I almost could feel this tiny little girl in my arms saying it was alright to let her go. I let her go and he got 18 months for what he cost me,” Jensen still felt the hole in his heart but also the anger that Jason hadn’t spent more time in a cell.

“The reason the others are so shocked at what I’m doing for you or how I’ve opened up with you is because I haven’t let myself date since Jason. I haven’t been able to be near a baby without it breaking my heart because I can still remember holding her. I still remember burying her and I swore never to open myself to that pain again because in addition to the broken bones and internal injuries I’d gained…Jason’s last blow also made it next to impossible for me to ever carry a child again myself. That’s why it’s so surprising to them that I’m able to be close to you and Tristan,” he squeezed the hand still holding his while looking up to wipe the pad of his thumb over Jared’s cheek to brush the tears he saw there away before wiping his own face.

Now more things that had been said made sense to Jared and he was even more stunned by Jensen’s openness and his willingness to open his heart and home to him and his son. “Does…does being around Tristan hurt you, Jen?” he asked in concern.

Jared wasn’t sure where they’d go but if this was too hard on Jensen or if it might hurt him by reminding him of the daughter he’d lost or that he, himself, couldn’t carry a child again then Jared was prepared to find someplace else to stay.

He cared for Jensen. In fact, he was half certain he could love Jensen if he wasn’t cautious with his feelings but he also wouldn’t hurt him now that he knew about the pain he’d survived.

“I thought it would,” Jensen admitted, coughing to clear his throat and thinking that he should move but instead let his own arm slip around Jared’s waist; needing the contact as much as the younger man did right then. “I’m not sure what it is or was but it was like we connected the first second I met your eyes in that cabin. The other night when Tristan got cranky and didn’t want to sleep so I picked him up? That was the first time I’d willingly held a baby since…Joy.”

“That’s a pretty name,” Jared could tell the loss was still with his friend but he also realized that maybe this would help Jensen as much as it would him. “You…you didn’t have to redo her nursery, Jen. He could stay in here with me or…”

Again Jensen’s finger touched his lips to still the words while he smiled slowly. “Chris has been on me for the past four years at least to take the room down because he and Dani have always said keeping the room up but closed just prolonged the pain. I just felt there was a reason I had to keep it a nursery,” he felt some of the tension easing out of him as he watched Jared’s eyes grow heavier as his body reacted to not being on guard all the time. “It might not always be easy but then as Chad likes to say I’m not always easy to get along with so this’ll be a learning time for both of us…if you’ll give me a chance to get to know you and vice versa.”

“Get to know as…friends or…more?” Jared had to blink his eyes which had suddenly gotten so heavy it felt like he was fighting to stay awake. “I mean, God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that this soon. Hell, after a few days you might decide that everything Tom’s said about me is right.”

Jensen’s lips curved more as he chuckled, fingers brushing back through soft dark hair before trailing over Jared’s face with a feather touch. “I will not think anything that asshole ever said about you is right because it won’t be and…I was hoping we could start to get to know one another as friends first and then move on to more than friends cause I’ll be honest with you, Jared…I really want to kiss you sometime if you wouldn’t mind.”

“ _You_ want to kiss me?” Jared thought he might be asleep and just dreaming that because it was so hard to picture someone wanting to kiss him. He also had to bite his lip to keep from saying what he almost did. He didn’t want to admit how much he wanted to kiss Jensen right then.

“Sweetheart, you have been hurt and put down way too much if you think that I wouldn’t want to kiss you or get to know you better,” Jensen ached to start to remove those shadows and fears but knew he needed to move slowly to avoid hurting them both. “You get some sleep. I’ll go start some dinner and keep an ear out for Tristan in case he decides to wake up. Just try to tell yourself that you’re safe here and from this moment on you make your choices.”

Jared nodded but was already half asleep as he fell over onto the soft pillow with a sigh. He hadn’t bothered to pull the quilt down since he just planned to close his eyes for a few moments but felt something soft being laid over him while a gentle hand stroked down his face in a way that he realized Jensen tended to do when soothing him. “Jen? Thanks for finding us, for saving us.”

“I saved you from the fire, babe. You’ll save yourself now and maybe even me,” Jensen paused a beat before taking a risk. He leaned down to lightly lay a whisper soft kiss to the corner of Jared’s lips and whispered something to the sleeping man before stepping out the bedroom to move back into the nursery.

Jensen’s smile went soft as he noticed that Tristan was laying with his hand under his chin much like his father had fallen to sleep in the other room. He lightly touched the infant’s hand while turning on the baby monitor that was near the crib so it would sound in both Jared’s room and wherever Jensen was in the house.

“You’re Daddy loves you, little boy,” he whispered softly, seeing so much of Jared in this child even this soon. “You will be loved and protected. Neither you nor your Daddy will be hurt so long as I have breath in my body.”

After spending the last five years alone Jensen thought suddenly sharing his home with another man as well as a baby who was often colicky as night would be harder than it was. Of course in the two months since moving Jared and his son in it had also become clear to Jensen that it would take a lot of time and patience to coax Jared fully out of his shell or convince him that he wasn’t going to be hurt or screamed at for the smallest thing.

They actually got along really well despite also having some differences like how Jared needed to have things clean and ordered while Jensen had long since gotten used to dropping things were he was and then searching for them when he needed it again.

It in fact amused the older man when he came back from the store one afternoon to find Tristan laying in his new baby seat that was a gift from Jensen’s squad while Jared was sitting on the floor in the kitchen putting pots and pans away in order of size and shape.

Also Jensen discovered that Jared could actually cook a lot better than he gave himself credit for after he came home from a call that had left him covered in soot, coughing and exhausted. The fire had been long and hard to fight, involving multiple engines so all Jensen really wanted was to shower and fall face first on his bed or do it in reverse.

Jared had been quiet that morning because the night before JD Morgan, the local Sheriff, had been by to tell him that Tom had skipped on his bail but that a couple patrol cars would be around in case the angry man decided to keep his promise to make Jared pay for humiliating him.

Jensen had learned that when Jared got nervous he pulled into himself and would just hold Tristan or if the baby was sleeping or playing he’d doodle in a small pad that had been in his lone bag. On this night as he stepped into the house he expected the bottom floor to be dark as Jared tended to stay upstairs if he was alone in the house but tonight Jensen walked into the smell of something delicious coming from his hardly used kitchen.

“Hey,” he greeted, stepping in after making sure he made enough noise to tell Jared that he was home so it didn’t spook the still skittish young man. “Something smells good.”

“Oh…I was sorting the drawers out...dude, your drawers made no sense, and came across a sauce recipe that looked pretty simple and you had most of the stuff for it except the fresh herbs but I found some dried that I could use until you go to the store,” Jared turned from the stove with a spoon in his hand, one eye taking in Jensen’s soot covered face and hands as well as the exhaustion in his eyes while his other went to where his son was sucking on a pacifier nearby. “You look beat, Jen.”

“I am beat,” Jensen admitted, barely resisting the sudden urge to brush his thumb over Jared’s face but decided to wash his hands first so he could both touch Jared and also the baby who’d begun to gurgle happily at the sight of him. “Damn teenagers playing around in a warehouse managed to ignite some leftover chemicals and the thing went out of control even before we got there. It took four engines to keep it from spreading and all the damn smoke sent a few guys to the ER.”

“Are you hurt?” Jared placed the spoon on a holder before moving closer without thinking of being scared or tense; he was too concerned about Jensen taking in too much smoke or even being burned, especially when he saw how he was favoring his one arm. “Jensen? Did you need to go to see Dr. Sam for smoke or did you get burned? You should go up and take a shower. I can heat this up or…”

Jensen did want a shower but when he heard the slight panic bring out Jared’s accent more he was quick to catch his face between his palms. “I’m tired, sore, filthy and I did breathe in some smoke but I’m fine, babe. Just let me shower and change out of these clothes, which I should’ve done at the station but was just too tired, then we’ll eat,” he nodded to the frosted cabinets. “You get out the plates. I’ll be back down in 20 minutes.”

It felt weird to have someone cook and keep the house straightened since before with Jason it had always been Jensen who’d done those things. Now as he showered all the black soot, grime and smoke away Jensen felt an odd stirring in his belly and knew it was his first touch of nerves at what he could see happening between them without either of them trying.

His big soft four poster bed was calling his name but his stomach was calling for whatever Jared had made so while pulling on a clean T-shirt and jeans as well as his beat-up sneakers Jensen headed back to the kitchen, leaning in the door to watch as Jared moved with too much care while setting each place at the small casual kitchen table.

“You do know you can just slap the plates and forks down and I’ll be good with it, right?” Jensen bent down to nuzzle the powder fresh cheek of the baby that gave him a happy baby giggle. “Hey, little man. Were you good for Daddy today or did Chad teach you too many bad habits in the hour he was here the other day?” he asked the babbling baby.

“He slept most of the day which I know I shouldn’t have let him so he’d sleep tonight but he cried so much this morning after you left that…” Jared stopped in mid-sentence as he placed the pot of pasta on the table and realized what he’d said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I know we’re still getting used to one another and Tristan’s just a baby so he can’t really form attachments and…I’m babbling, Jen. I’m…”

Jensen lifted his eyes to see the true fear reflected in those hazel eyes that he’d said too much or brought back bad memories to him. Since the night he’d told Jared about the loss of his daughter Jensen could tell the younger man was making a conscious effort to avoid bringing up those memories or possibly saying something about Tristan that could bring up memories or emotions.

“Baby’s form attachments just as quickly as we do, Jay,” he began slowly, catching the pacifier as it was dropped to give it back and straightened up move closer to Jared; not missing the quick flash of fear over a paling handsome face. “I was already attached to him the moment I watched him come into the world and every morning when I get up, before I shower or anything, I find myself checking on him.”

“You…you do?” Jared hadn’t known that. He hadn’t considered that Jensen would check in on Tristan and found some of his nerves loosening when he supposed they should’ve been increasing. “Why?”

“Because…” Jensen stopped to take a deep breath. He knew what was on the tip of his tongue that he wanted to say but was still hesitant since they hadn’t known one another very long. It was a look between father and son’s big eyes that made his choice for him. “Because I love him and I love you.”

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Five**

“Because I love him and I love you.”

The words were simple and should have scared Jared to death given that he’d promised himself to give this growing friendship more time before admitting the feelings he was hiding to himself. He did feel his heart jump into his throat when he heard them but it was more from the way Jensen’s deep voice dropped just a little lower, took on a bit more Texas than normal in the husky tone.

Jared had learned to tell when someone was just saying something to him to please or appease him or to get their way. He’d learned with a lot of pain that Tom had almost always used that tone of voice on him while when Jensen spoke to him or even to the baby it felt and sounded real. Just like now.

“You…” Jared longed to believe the man. He wanted to believe that someone like Jensen who understood so much about him, who understood some of his fears and yet had triumphed over his own demons could love him but years of mental abuse left him unsure and frightened to trust those words. “You can’t love me. It’s too soon,” he whispered, dinner forgotten as he felt himself drawn into deep green eyes that looked even more green as Jensen took one step closer. “I’m…I’m clumsy. I’m way too OCD about stuff that you find normal. I don’t have a job. I’m too stupid to get…ummm, Jensen?”

Jensen’s hands went to Jared’s waist before he thought, backing him away from the table to against the counter near the stove. “First, I want you to listen to me very carefully and let what I say sink in,” he began, careful to keep his tone level and also to not make Jared feel boxed in or threatened by this sudden closeness. “You are not stupid. You are not clumsy or not any more than anyone else is. You don’t have a job because you just had a baby and are getting back on your feet. You are finding yourself and when it’s time you will find something you like to do.

“Next, you might be a little OCD about needing stuff in place or the house clean but I think that’s because you were hurt if you didn’t keep his house a certain way. I know how that can be, cause I used to be the same way. Believe it or not every drawer in this kitchen used to be so ordered and neat I could tell you which one had what in it and if something was moved I had a meltdown. It took me a long time after Jason to not be so intense like that and I’m not saying to change or that I don’t like it when you straighten the place up. I just don’t want you thinking there’s something wrong with you because there is not,” Jensen told him firmly, careful to go slow when he moved one hand up to gently curve his fingers around the back of Jared’s neck to bring his head down enough that their foreheads touched.

“You are a wonderful, handsome, caring man who will slowly regain your confidence in yourself. You will start to heal and realize when I tell you that you’re all these things you say you aren’t that you are and that you will be a terrific father to Tristan as well as any other kids you might have,” the firefighter watched Jared’s eyes widen as that suggestion sank in but also he could see some of his other words registering as well because he could feel the tension slowly easing out of Jared’s body. “Now can you tell me at least one positive thing you feel about yourself before we eat or should I resort to my old Doctor’s method of making lists?”

Jared wasn’t sure if he had anything positive but he did know he was feeling something and that was something he hadn’t honestly felt in a long time. Pushing those low burning feelings aside for the moment to focus on Jensen while shooting a look over to be sure the baby was still alright he caught his breath when a thumb brushed along his jaw.

“I’m…I’m lucky,” he said after a couple of seconds, hearing his son’s happy sounds while watching one corner of Jensen’s mouth curve in a slow smile.

“Okay, that’s good,” Jensen recalled his own steps to recovery over the years of abuse he hadn’t even known he’d been going through emotionally and knew for Jared it would be in tiny steps. “Lucky how?”

“I have a beautiful son and I met you,” Jared had always been told he spoke before he thought and he knew that was true but he was so tired of watching what he said that this admission came out and for once it didn’t feel wrong. He knew it was okay as Jensen’s smile grew and his eyes lightened. “Can I tell you something else, Jen?” he asked quietly, nerves there as he tried to get his fingers unclenched from the counter.

“Go ahead,” Jensen invited with a nod, keeping an eye on Jared’s face to see the nerves but also a sudden spark of determination to not be afraid.

“I…I love you too,” Jared said the words he couldn’t recall saying and actually meaning for at least six years. He felt more scared after he said them because he wasn’t sure what to do now. “I mean…I…you…I’m scared, Jensen.”

Jensen could feel that as well and understood it. He’d expected to feel more fear or worry himself as he realized he’d been in love with Jared almost from the first moment of meeting but as he took another step that brought him close enough so that their chests were barely touching he only felt protective and caring.

“I know you are, Jay,” he murmured, letting his fingers brush over Jared’s face. “I won’t tell you not to because you’ve got a lot of stuff to overcome but I will tell you one thing that I hope helps. I’ve got you. I’ll have both of you for as long as you’ll let me.”

“God, I hope so,” Jared returned softly, heart pounding in his chest so loudly that he was positive Jensen could hear it; seeing the not so buried want shining in Jensen’s eyes as the other man held back from doing what it was clear they both wanted. “Jen?” finally Jared got his fingers to release the counter to curl in the front of Jensen’s soft blue t-shirt. “The night you brought us home, you said you wanted to kiss me sometime.”

“Uh-huh,” Jensen was losing interest in eating the cooling pasta even as a squeal from Tristan reminded him of the baby in the room. “I do want to kiss you, Jared,” he paused to let his lips gently graze over Jared’s cheek in a whisper soft kiss that did nothing to soothe his sudden need to touch and taste. “In fact, if I don’t pull back real soon I’m gonna end up kissing you right here and now. Tell me what you want, Jay.”

Jared knew what he should do. He was a father of an infant only a few months old. He was recovering from years of emotional and physical abuse that left him confused and shaken most days. But he also suddenly knew that he wanted to be kissed by this man in front of him.

“I want you to kiss me,” he saw a flash of heat, saw Jensen look back as if checking to see how much attention Tristan was paying them instead of his squishy toys and then felt the fingers on his neck tighten just a little to bring him closer. “I don’t kiss very good though,” he was quick to warn so Jensen wouldn’t be disappointed. “Tom said…mhmm.”

The soft admission as well as the nervous little tick along Jared’s jaw when saying what his abusive ex used to say about his kissing ability had Jensen giving a gentle tug to bring Jared’s lips down to lightly touch his in a slow, soft kiss.

Jensen was careful to keep the kiss slow, gentle, and without heat despite how hard it was when he felt the kiss returned shyly, hesitantly at first until it became plain that he wasn’t being forced and Jensen kept the touch light and also very brief.

“One rule between us?” Jensen began slowly, letting his fingers and lips stay on Jared in some way as he felt him leaning more into the touch. “Forget every goddamn thing you’ve been told by him because I will tell you very honestly right now that you kiss just fine. If I didn’t know I was pushing things and Tristan wasn’t watching us right now I’d tell you exactly how you kiss and also how much I want to keep kissing you but…we better eat.”

Jared’s brains were mush from the heat of just a simple kiss. He was also still surprised that Jensen thought he kissed good since Tom had always complained that he lacked skill and finesse. Then he caught the suggestion about eating and groaned out loud for keeping Jensen away from a hot meal that was now probably a cold sticky mess.

“I’ll heat it up,” he said quickly, buried fear of raised voices and sharp fists over a cold meal sneaking up inside him before strong fingers nudged him into a seat. “Jen, I let this get cold. I’ll…mhmm…this your new way of shutting me up?” he asked after hot lips closed over his in a still gentle kiss. “I think I like it better than the other way.”

“Well in that case I might make it the new way to interrupt you,” Jensen replied while teasing Jared’s lips until he finally felt him relax again fully. “The pasta’s still warm enough to eat. We’ll eat, then I’ll help you with dishes or I’ll do dishes while you get Tristan ready for bed.”

Jared was always stunned when Jensen offered to do something as simple as do the dishes or fix a loose shutter that was banging and keeping the baby awake. “I can do both. I know you’re exhausted and probably just want to sleep. Let me…”

“No,” Jensen’s hand closed over Jared’s when he went to spoon out the pasta and sauce. “You cooked. Now, sit down and let me dish it out,” he loved to see that awed little look that Jared got when he did something totally unexpected but simple like this. “My Momma always taught her kids to share the house work. If she cooked something as complicated as my Granma’s red sauce then Dad served and usually we cleaned up. So you cooked and I’ll do the rest. I’ll sleep in tomorrow.”

“It isn’t as good as your Momma could make but I hope you like it,” Jared had just been trying to take his mind off the worry and fears that still plagued him when he stumbled on the recipe. “I like to cook even though I don’t do it well. Tristan can’t have any, Jensen,” he looked up just in time to see a sauce covered finger be sucked into his baby’s mouth. “I’m telling Misha you’re not sticking to the baby’s diet.”

Jensen snorted, getting his fingertip back to pick up his own fork. “He’s a baby, Jay. He’s too small to have a diet and a little red sauce won’t hurt him. In fact, I’ll even get up with him if it bothers his little belly tonight since it’ll be my fault,” he took a bite of pasta and swore he’d just died from pleasure right there. “Oh my God. This tastes even better than my Mom’s best attempts to make it.”

“No…I…really?” Jared ate little bites of his own small portion. He was more interested in watching Jensen’s face as he ate. “It’s not too bland?” he asked, worried. “I wasn’t sure since normally real herbs are better to use and your dried ones seemed kind of old but…you really like it?”

“Sweetheart, the next time my parents come to visit you are making this sauce and I will promise you my father will tell you this is as good as his Momma, my Granma, ever made,” Jensen took another bite before reaching over to gently squeeze Jared’s hand. “Jay, I won’t ever tell you something that’s not true. If I say something’s good then it is and I’m really picky about my red sauces so this is awesome stuff right here.”

Jared’s cheeks turned pink and he dropped his head to hide his eyes and the emotion in them at being told something he cooked was good. “Thanks, Jen,” he murmured and began to eat more.

Tristan began to fuss at the end of the meal and Jared knew his son was hungry. He was torn for a second as to what to do first when warm fingers touched his arm.

“Go feed him while I get started on the dishes,” Jensen had been with Jared and his son long enough now to know the various cries and sounds the bright eyed baby could make. “He’s just saying he should’ve been allowed more sauce since he’s a growing baby boy who will probably get your height and needs food in his belly.”

“He’s too young for real food,” Jared was smiling while he said it, standing to scoop his son up and nuzzling his cheek like he always did when he picked him up. “I’ll be back to help after I get him fed and changed for bed. You can just leave this and I’ll get it when I get back down or…mmhm,” he sighed into this kiss, getting more used to Jensen’s lips on his and how it felt it be kissed by someone who really seemed to care about him.

“I have this,” Jensen told him, lips curving in a teasing smile. “You just want to be here to make sure I don’t put something in the wrong place.”

That hadn’t occurred to Jared until just then and he froze in mid-step to look back. “Just wash the dishes. I’ll put ‘em away tomorrow or tonight,” he spoke before he thought or remembered that this was Jensen’s home. “I mean…”

“I’ll leave the putting away to you,” Jensen was pleased to see even this slight change in Jared. He knew how hard it was to find that spark of courage and self-confidence after so long of being put down. “I usually just left the clean dishes in the sink until I needed ‘em again,” he ran his tongue along his teeth to try to hide his smirk. “Did you just growl something at me, babe?”

“Yeah, but it’s not really polite to call my host what I could on that subject so I’ll just go feed the baby now and clean up after your clean up while you’re sleeping tomorrow,” Jared replied with a roll of his eyes as he headed upstairs, missing the soft chuckle that followed him.

“That’s my boy,” Jensen whispered to himself, pleased with Jared’s attitude and how well he was coming along even if he doubted the young Texan realized it himself yet.

Jensen could still clean when he wanted to and so made an actual effort to put the leftover pasta in smaller dishes for heating up and then did up the dirty dishes as well as the pots and pans. He noticed that his spice cabinet had actually been labeled and there was a note on the counter with the names of various things that he assumed was spices that Jared thought they needed so he decided he’d just take Jared to the store with him that weekend.

By the time he finished and left just a few things out of place to tease his friend, Jensen made sure the house was locked up as he still was more than a little manic over that detail. He always left a low light on in the kitchen and one at the top of the stairs to ensure some light in the middle of the night, especially now with Jared living with him in case the baby cried at night.

Worried that maybe feeding Tristan that little bit of sauce had hurt him, Jensen stopped by the nursery to check when he smiled at what he saw.

Jared was sitting in the rocker that sat over in the corner of the room. Tristan was laying protectively against his chest with his tiny fist under his chin as both infant and father appeared to be sleeping.

“Jared?” Jensen knelt beside the rocker to lay a hand over the one Jared had placed on the back of his son, letting the tiny moving fingers grasp onto his finger like the baby always seemed to do if he heard Jensen’s voice. “Hey, how about putting him in the crib and letting me get you in bed?” he spoke quietly.

Stirring at the low husky voice, Jared blinked a few times to realize he must have fallen to sleep after burping and changing the baby into his little footie pajamas. “Oh. Oh no. I didn’t think I’d…I sat down to rock him to sleep and I must’ve fallen to sleep. I left you to clean up…Jen, I’m…” he started to push up only to feel a hand on his shoulder easing him back as Jensen slowly reached to slip the sleeping child into his own arms.

It still was a little difficult to hold Tristan at certain times, like when he was sleeping or just waking up because it did bring back the memory of holding his daughter but tonight all Jensen could see was a sleeping little boy and his equally sleepy father; both of whom needed him to do what he was helping Jared to do and that was heal.

“I’ve got him,” he told a clearly upset Jared. He very gently placed Tristan inside the crib, making sure to do it as he’d seen Jared do it. “Sleep tight, little guy,” Jensen whispered and then turned to meet wide eyes that were sleepy but also frightened. “Jay, you’re still hurt. You’re tired. Sleep is actually a good thing. I’m not angry that you fell to sleep.”

“But I left you to clean up my mess,” Jared stood up only when he thought his legs wouldn’t shake too badly. He looked quickly to the baby and then the door as if wanting to be out of the nursery and Jensen knew why. “I’ll go…huh?”

Jensen’s hand landed on Jared’s face while his other touched his chest, over his heart. “No raised voices here, Jay. No reason to be afraid. I know it’s so hard for you to remember that you won’t be hurt or yelled at here but I do need you to start to believe that I will not ever raise my hand to you or my voice to the baby,” he paused to brush the pad of his thumb along Jared’s cheekbone with a loving touch.

“I won’t say I will never raise my voice because I do have a temper and I do yell. You and I will more than likely have a few fights along the road of whatever may come but I will swear to you that even if we yell at one another, even if we fight really badly I will never raise my hand to you,” Jensen held Jared’s eyes and finally saw him nod. Then he felt the tension once again leave him and swore if he ever got the chance he would bloody Tom Welling’s face for ever scarring this fragile young man. “Now, can I walk you to your room, Mr. Padalecki?” he asked with a teasing smile.

“My room is right next door, Jen,” Jared pointed out after checking to be sure Tristan was sleeping and covered correctly. He stepped out into the hall, watching as Jensen checked that the baby monitor was on. “I should go clean…”

“You can double check my attempt to clean in the morning,” Jensen stepped in front to block him from the steps while carefully nudging the man toward his room. “You’re tired and probably spent most of the day in the kitchen so now you can sleep…unless there’s some reason you don’t want to sleep that you didn’t tell me?”

Jared’s eyes slid away, nervously rubbing the throw rug on the hardwood floor of the upstairs hall with the toe of his sneaker until a hand cupped his chin to lift it back to eye level. “I…I think he knows where I am,” he whispered tightly, almost afraid to speak the name as if saying it would make the man appear.

“You think who knows where you are?” Jensen’s tired brain wasn’t connecting at first. Then he caught the way Jared was holding himself, the way he kept rubbing his upper arm as if it hurt and it connected. “Welling? You think Welling knows where you and Tristan are staying?” he frowned at the jerky little nod. “Why would you think that, Jay? Did you see him? Has he or anyone he sent bothered you and you haven’t told me or JD?”

“No, no, I…I haven’t seen him or anyone but…I…I found this in the mailbox today when I went out to get your mail,” Jared reached into his back pocket to pull out a badly crumpled and wrinkled piece of paper. “I also don’t know anyone else who’d leave this.”

Jensen took the paper, unfolded it and had no trouble reading the short, crude, very to the point message. He felt his temper spark as he realized the asshole hadn’t just jumped his bail but he then had the guts to come back to the area, find out where he lived and probably watched the house to be sure before leaving what could only be taken as a threat to his ex-fiancée.

“Okay. You should’ve called me, left me a message or called JD the second you got this,” Jensen didn’t blame Jared for not doing any of those things. He knew the note had probably scared his friend because he could feel him shaking now beside him. “As soon as I wake up we’re calling JD so he can do what he has to in order to get that asshole back in a cell and away from you but you and Tristan are safe here, Jay.”

“I…I should leave. If Tom knows where I am he might…I don’t want you getting in the middle of…” Jared blinked as his back suddenly touched the wall near his bedroom door.

“I put myself in the middle of this the moment I found you and I don’t intend to pull myself out of the middle unless you can honestly look me straight in the eye and tell me you want to leave,” Jensen wasn’t surprised when Jared tensed then quickly relaxed again at the sudden move. He kept reminding himself not to push him too fast but it was so hard when he wanted to protect and love this young father so damn much while also still giving him space to grow, to find himself again. “Do you want to leave, Jared?”

“No,” Jared’s reply was instant, from the heart…the same heart that was suddenly beating fast again. “I…I meant when I said I…I loved you. I…I just don’t want you to get hurt or regret meeting me or taking us in or…” he paused to realize he was starting to relax quicker each time Jensen kissed him now; even if it was usually to shut him up if he was rambling.

“I won’t regret either of those things, Jay. I love you too,” Jensen hadn’t really realized how much he actually meant those words until he said them again. He also hadn’t realized how long that it had been that he’d said them and meant them until now either. “He won’t ever touch you or the baby, sweetheart. I’ll make sure someone’s at this house with you when I’m not home until this gets settled. Is this why you’re scared to sleep tonight?”

Jared hated to admit the thoughts of his ex could still make him wish he could hide in a dark small space. He wanted to show Jensen he was brave, that he’d protect his son and he knew if he had to shield Tristan from harm that he would. It was just the thoughts in his head, the fears of the unknown that kept him from being able to sleep.

“I…I hear him in my dreams and it’s like I’m still with him,” Jared murmured, edgy for reasons he couldn’t name. All he knew was that while his body was tired, he was scared to be alone. “I…I might just put a pillow and blanket on the nursery floor tonight.”

“Or I can crash in your room for a while until you fall to sleep if you don’t want to be alone and just need to hear someone with you,” Jensen suddenly had another idea and slipped Jared’s hand into his while tugging him back towards his own room. “Actually, I have a better idea. You can sleep in my room tonight and once you’re asleep I’ll crash in the chair that’s in there or something.”

Jared was blinking in surprise but before he could think of a response he was looking wide-eyed around the Master bedroom; unsure if he should be amazed at how well it had been redone from gleaming hard wood floors, to the window trim, chair rails on the walls or be flat out shocked at the mess that was scattered over the room.

“Jen?” he was trying to bite his tongue and not make the comment that was suddenly burning up his brain while his need for order and cleanliness was making his fingers twitch.

“Yes, you can bitch about my inability to clean or put stuff away tomorrow,” Jensen had caught the unspoken emotions flashing over Jared’s face. He hadn’t given any thought to the mess in his room until he’d opened the door which was too late. “In fact, if you sleep tonight after we talk to JD tomorrow I’ll even let you try to find a section of floor if it would make you happy. Tristan and I’ll tackle the kitchen.”

“How do you sleep in here?” Jared asked, groaning as Jensen merely shoved some folded clothes off the bed and onto the floor. “Your Momma know you keep your room lookin’ like this?” he had to kneel and refold at least that small pile, placing them in a chair.”

Jensen snorted with a shake of his head, watching as Jared folded and picked up here and there in the room until he seemed happy or happy enough that he did sit on the edge of the bed. “If I know my folks are coming then I hire someone to come in to clean. She’d still slap me if she ever saw a house messy.”

“I should slap you,” Jared mumbled without thinking, looking up quickly when he realized what he’d said. “I’m…dude, you need to clean more or at least pick up stuff.”

“Maybe you’ll teach me,” Jensen sat beside him to take a nervous hand in his. “Maybe we’ll teach each other some stuff…like trust, healing…how to love and be loved?” he leaned close enough so his lips barely brushed over Jared’s cheek. “If I promise not to do anything but sit here with you like I did so often in the hospital do you think you’ll be able to sleep?”

Jared wanted to give into the comfort but he also realized the man offering it had just spent a hellish day fighting a fire and inhaling smoke. “You…need to sleep too, Jensen. You were tired when you got home. You don’t have to…I…can we compromise?”

“Possibly,” Jensen liked that Jared at least was willing to ask instead of pushing his needs aside in fear. “What do you have in mind?”

“We can both share the bed…it’s big enough that you can sleep but yet if I do fall to sleep I won’t bother you but yet you’ll be here so I can feel someone with me…if that makes sense,” Jared figured it didn’t until Jensen’s fingers curved around his neck gently to draw him into a slow kiss that distracted him from the reason he was scared to sleep in the first place. “Or…we can make out.”

Jensen chuckled, heart speeding up at that innocent suggestion. “If we both weren’t exhausted right now and I didn’t know Tristan was going to wake up in a few hours wanting a snack I might take you up on that offer but…” he paused to toe off his shoes while motioning Jared to do the same and move back on the bed. “…give us a little more time to get used to one another. Give yourself time to get used to being touched or kissed.”

Jared thought it might not take him long to get used to Jensen’s touches or kisses but he appreciated the thought. It had been a while since he’d been given an option to be touched or kissed and had always assumed Tom had been right when he said it was just his place to let him do what he wanted when he wanted.

“You don’t hurt me when you kiss me,” he murmured, moving to the other side of the bed to lay on his side to watch through heavy eyes as Jensen stretched out beside him. “Jen, I know you’re tired and need to sleep but could you maybe talk to me until I fall to sleep?”

“Yeah, I can do that, babe,” Jensen assured him, settling down before looking over to see too much tension still in Jared’s body. “You can come closer to me, Jay. Just lay your head on my shoulder if you want or move close enough to touch my hand. It’s okay if you do. I don’t bite.”

In the hospital when Jensen would stay with him at night, would hold him so he could sleep Jared never considered being shy. This time he felt shy, unsure but after a couple of seconds of holding calm green eyes he did slowly move over enough until his head rested over Jensen’s chest; hearing his heart beating under his ear and immediately felt better, calmer.

“Is this okay?” he asked with a yawn, settling down more with the first touch of fingers brushing through his hair.

“It’s fine, Jared,” Jensen told him quietly, making sure the baby monitor was on while waiting to feel Jared relax against him to let his arm curl over the younger man; seeing his lashes fluttering against his cheek as he slowly fell to sleep. “Just relax. You and Tristan are both safe and you’ll be safe. He won’t hurt you again.”

The Master bedroom was silent except for the soft music of a radio in the corner that Jensen always left on to break the silence at night. He could still hear the baby if he cried as well as Jared as he listened to his breathing even off as he drifted into a deeper sleep at the sound of Jensen’s heart beating under his ear.

“G’night, Jay,” Jensen whispered, letting his own eyes drift shut with dreams of a future without pain or fear and without worrying of what tomorrow might bring.

Tomorrow brought sunshine, an unhappy cop when JD Morgan was called to the house to speak with Jared. It also brought some cleaning as Jared didn’t stop hinting or nudging until Jensen finally gave in and actually cleaned a small part of his room while Jared and Tristan looked on from the bed.

“How about you clean and I tickle the baby?” Jensen asked after about an hour of realizing his closet was a lost cause and seriously needed more help than some folding clothes or hanging them up could do. “Or I could call my usual service in while we go to the store?”

“Calling out to have someone else come in to clean might not always be an option, Jen,” Jared’s mother had a housekeeper but he never did and so still believed in doing the chore himself when possible. “Besides, you don’t want to teach Tristan that not cleaning up after himself is a good thing, do you?”

Jensen paused in mid-complaint to narrow his eyes at the innocent look Jared was giving him while Tristan sucked on his hand and one of Jensen’s clean socks that had too many holes in it to survive. “Okay, use the baby as leverage along with guilt. My Mom is going to adore you,” he sighed, tossing a shoe back in the closet. “Okay, you’re right. I get it. I let too much of my need to clean everything in sight side slip a little it seems. Plus, I work a lot so things got out of hand. With just me here I never noticed it but you’re right,” he came over to sit on the bed where he was close enough to touch both Padaleckis. “I need to start keeping the place cleaner now that there’s a baby living here.”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured, Jen. I just want…” Jared paused at the feel of fingers slowly rubbing up and down his back. “I don’t mean to push. I…I’m too…”

“No, you’re not pushing me and you’re right,” Jensen leaned down to blow kisses on Tristan’s belly, loving to hear him laugh and wondering what it sounded like to really make Jared laugh that freely. “It just might take a week or so to clean this room. I get distracted easily as you might’ve noticed.”

“We can do a little bit each day, that way you won’t get overwhelmed or bored,” Jared bit his lip to keep the groan in that wanted to come when Jensen’s lips grazed his jaw. “Today the closet. Tomorrow…under the bed or…”

“Or every other day,” Jensen grinned, fighting not to move too fast especially when there was a happily gurgling baby suddenly chewing his fingertip. “Hey, isn’t he too young to be teething?”

Jared tore his gaze away from Jensen to see that his son was chewing on Jensen’s finger. “He might be hungry or he just likes to chew on stuff. I left his pacifier downstairs. I’ll go get it if you’ll watch him for a second?”

There hadn’t been any real tense moments in which Jensen couldn’t be around or hold the baby. In fact, more and more Jared was noticing that the first thing when Jensen came in the house from work or even cutting the grass or going to the store he made some move to touch or greet the baby who seemed just as happy to see him.

“Yeah, go get it. We’ll be fine,” Jensen nodded, picking the little boy up to set him on his feet on the bed while holding him; enjoying the sounds Tristan made as he went up and down. “If you grab a couple garbage bags from the kitchen I’ll start cleaning the closet out.”

“Okay,” Jared never failed to feel his eyes burn when he watched Jensen with his son. He loved the look that came over the ruggedly handsome face whenever Jensen held or played with Tristan. He also adored knowing his son enjoyed having Jensen play with him too.

When he first learned he was pregnant and that Tom didn’t want the baby Jared was afraid he might never find someone who could love them both but as he watched Jensen and Tristan now, especially knowing about Jensen’s past, he felt even more lucky that it had been Jensen who’d found him in that cabin.

“I’ll be right back,” he went to take a step but paused to consider something before deciding to take a chance. “Jensen?”

“Yeah?” looking up, Jensen noticed the sudden change in Jared’s face that he knew meant the younger man was thinking too hard and was instantly concerned. “Jay? What’s…?” he started to ask what was wrong when he was stopped mid-question by a shy, hesitant kiss.

Even though the kiss was uneasy and clearly showed Jared’s nerves at being the one to start it Jensen had to fight his body’s instant response to it.

Jensen quickly shifted the baby so he could hold him in the crook on one arm while using his other hand to reach up and bring Jared back closer as he carefully deepened the kiss. He was careful to not push or go too far since he’d gotten the idea that Jared’s exposure to all things physical might be on the rough side and he wanted to show him that there was another way.

“Not that I’m complaining since I will never complain about kissing you but what brought that on?” he asked after the kiss broke and Jared eased back with a small smile on his lips and his eyes just a little darker.

“I love you and I…I suddenly wanted to kiss you,” Jared had never kissed first but as he felt stronger he also seemed to feel braver. “Was…was it okay?”

“Sweetheart, it was fine,” Jensen brushed his thumb over Jared’s cheek to see him smile more, dimples winking. “Love you too, Jay.”

Jared wondered when he’d ever get tired of hearing those words from someone who meant them. He didn’t think it would be too soon. “I’ll be right back,” he grinned more as Tristan let out a squeal and Jensen laughed in response.

He took the steps carefully since his legs still got weak but it took Jared no time to find the baby’s pacifier as well as a couple heavy bags for trash. He was about to go back up the steps when a knock came on the door.

“Jen! You expecting Chad?” he called up but before he heard a response, he was already reaching to unlock the door without thinking since he knew Jensen had been talking to his friend earlier that morning.

He didn’t think of any possible risk until the door was kicked back hard into him, knocking him back with an unexpected cry of pain as he fell back, hitting his head on the bottom step and his elbow on the hard wood floor. Nausea and pain shot through him but nothing like the shot of sick fear that came when he heard the voice that spoke from the door.

“You thought you could get rid of me that easily, Jared?” Tom Welling sneered as he stepped into the house, gloved hand clenching into a fist as he glared at Jared’s paling face. “No, but I will get rid of you.”

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one comes with an explicit warning toward the end.

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Six**

The cruel tone, the sneer in Tom Welling’s smooth voice instantly put fear and ice through Jared’s blood. His head was spinning from where it hit the step but he knew the sick feeling rolling in his stomach was as much from terror as pain.

“You thought you were pretty smart, didn’t you, Jare?” Tom’s blue eyes were dark with hate, his normally handsome face marred with rage as he reached down to grab Jared by the shirt to pull him up.

A viscous fist backhanding the still stunned young man, knocking him into the wall near the steps and sending a vase on a side table crashing to the floor which seemed to snap Jared’s thoughts back out of the fearful fog, eyes and thoughts going up the steps to where help was a call away…but so was an innocent baby that he needed to keep Tom away from.

“You thought you could file some stupid piece of paper saying how I abused you, tried to get me locked up for wanting to take back what belonged to me and get me eventually for some brat I never wanted while you shack up with some backwoods firefighter?” Tom grabbed Jared’s wrist in a tight hold, liking the sound of pain he heard when he squeezed the still thin wrist as he jerked Jared toward him and the open door. “I’m the one who shaped you, who made you into what you are! I’m the one who spent four years fucking some stupid useless idiot who never came close to my social circle! You are mine! And I’m dragging your ass back to Sacramento even if it’s just to beat you to within an inch of your useless life!”

So much of who Jared was longed to give in to the hard voice, the sharp and hurtful words that had destroyed what self-confidence he’d ever had but the piece of him that had begun to heal recently, the piece of him that was starting to believe Jensen’s words of encouragement poked through his fear.

“No,” he murmured softly at first then as he realized that if Tom got him out of the house much less into a car that he’d never see Jensen or his son again and stiffened while raising his voice in a way that he thought surprised them both. “No! I’m not going with you! I’m done letting you use me as a toy or a punching bag! I’m done being scared of you or letting you hurt me because you convinced me that I’d never be good enough for anyone else! I’m tired of letting you and others hurt me! I’m tired of hating myself for being so scared and I’m tired of you!”

Jared didn’t realize how his voice had raised or that he’d started to fight back until he tasted blood when Tom’s fist slammed into his face before hands closed over his throat.

“Shut the fuck up!” Tom shouted, forgetting or not caring about where they were or that they might not be alone. He’d been shocked when Jared actually talked back, much less fought back when normally he pulled into himself at the first slap or raised voice. Now his shock turned into even more rage. “ _You_ are _mine_! I didn’t spend all these years fucking you to let you grow a backbone now just because you had a kid and think that makes you more than you are.

“You are nothing! You are nothing but some stupid jackass from Texas who thought you could be someone! You are nothing without me! You have nothing without me and you never will!” he kept screaming while his fingers tightened around a weakly struggling Jared’s throat. “I should’ve taken care of my problems with you the night I had that knife to your throat! No one will want you! No one will ever love you or have you!”

“That’s not true. I love him. I will have him and his son. And I want you the goddamn hell out of my house!” Jensen’s voice was ice cold steel when he spoke from the steps; green eyes hard as they pinned a surprised Tom and he smirked. “Forgot where you were, asshole? Or forgot that maybe Jared wasn’t alone this time?”

Tom had been so engrossed in choking Jared, in screaming out his rage at him that he didn’t give a thought to the fact that he hadn’t seen the other man, a man he hated almost as much as he did his ex-boyfriend, leave yet that day.

“I told you once to mind your own business, hero!” Tom snapped, moving one hand from Jared’s throat to shove at Jensen when he suddenly grunted in surprise when a hand was on his own throat to shove him away from Jared and against the wall by the open front door. “He’s…ugh!”

Jensen’s fist slammed into Tom’s gut, doubling him over while he kept his fingers tight on his throat and throwing a concerned look over his shoulder to meet glassy eyes; wide with fright and shock. “You okay?” he asked quickly, only slightly relieved at the shaky nod he got in return. “If you can move, get back upstairs. Stay in my room with Tristan, lock the door until I come for you and call the Sheriff’s office again. Tell them I said I want them here as of 20 minutes ago.”

The moment Jensen had heard the disturbance in his house his temper as well as his fear had been on the surface. His first instinct had been to move immediately, to get to Jared and draw blood on the bastard who’d dared to not only barge into his home but also hurt Jared again. He’d been halfway to the door when a small cry from the bed had reminded Jensen that it wasn’t that simple this time.

Looking at Tristan looking back at him with Jared’s eyes reminded Jensen he had two people to protect so he couldn’t go flying off the handle like he wanted to. He made a quick call to 911 to inform the cops he needed help and what was happening and then he did what he could to keep the baby safe until he could get Jared upstairs with him.

“I’m going to go get your Daddy, little guy. That bad man won’t hurt either of you ever so long as I have breath in my body,” Jensen pressed his lips to soft hair, wiped baby soft cheeks free of tears. “Shhh. You stay right here and please don’t suddenly learn to roll or crawl right this moment.”

He made sure there were enough pillows surrounding the baby before breaking for the door. By the time Jensen got to the steps he clearly heard the enraged voice, the sounds of a struggle going on. When he got to the middle of the steps to see Tom Welling choking a weakly struggling Jared, Jensen felt his temper spark. By the time he stepped off the last step to grab the arrogant ass by his throat to shove him away from Jared it had lit fully.

Now as he met and held those scared hazel eyes a second longer to nod up the steps Jensen could remember vividly the time when his own eyes had held such fear of a man like the one he currently held against the wall. “Go upstairs, Jay. I’ve got this,” he murmured with more control than he thought he’d have given the anger he felt at seeing the bruises and blood on Jared’s pale face.

“You ain’t got nothing, hero!” Tom snapped, trying to shove free to grab a swiftly retreating Jared only to be grabbed and pushed out the door, onto the porch. “He’s not yours! He’s…”

“He’s not yours either, asshole!” Jensen managed to pull the door shut, blocking it with his body before Tom got back to his feet. His fist aimed and hit hard on the man’s jaw to knock him down again to the sounds of sirens getting closer. “Jared belongs to himself. Jared can choose to be with me or he can choose to find someone else one day but the choice will always be his. He is not yours to bully, abuse, or hurt anymore. You will not scare him, intimidate him or ever think of touching that baby to try to hurt him.”

“Or what?” Tom sneered, wiping his mouth with his hand while getting to his feet with plans to teach this upstart asshole a lesson. “You going to prove how big and tough you are? You going to beat me up? You think you’re man enough to take me on?” he shoved his hands against Jensen’s chest, baiting him to throw another punch. “You can’t stop me from taking him! You want the rugrat you can have it. Saves me the trouble of making two problems disappear but…”

Jensen’s eyes flashed dangerously and he started to lunge forward when he looked toward the sound of car doors slamming and held back. “Oh, I could so do all those things, Welling,” he muttered but fought his basic instinct to make this bastard bleed, giving a nod to the grim faced bearded Sheriff that was stalking up his walk. “But I think the Sheriff and his deputies want that pleasure. He threatened them both. He put his hands on Jared and choked him. He got in my house. I want him in a cell, JD. I want him in a cell and far away from Jared and Tristan.” Sheriff Jeffrey Dean Morgan eyed Tom Welling with the critical eye of a long time cop with very little patience for those who abused anyone but especially not someone he’d already had in a cell and had warned multiple times.

“He need an ambulance?” he asked in his typical deep gruff voice, stepping on the porch with his sidearm drawn while two of his deputies joined him. “I can have one here in less than five minutes.”

“Let me see but I think he just needs to calm down and know this asshole is out of his life,” Jensen started to turn toward the door. Now that the cops were there to handle things in a way that wouldn’t end up with Welling in a body bag and him in a cell, he was eager to check on Jared…until he was unexpectedly hit from behind.

“No! I won’t let anyone take him! No one else can have him if I can’t!” Tom’s sudden lunge toward Jensen took everyone by surprise so the startled cops had no chance to grab him until he went to reach back and pull something from under his jacket. “I said I’d end my problems with him so I’ll add you to the list!”

Jensen was able to catch himself with his left hand after his face bounced off the doorframe making him taste blood and see stars. “Son of a _bitch_!” he hissed, pushing away from the door to reach out only to run into the solid back of a pissed off cop.

“Get this asshole cuffed and locked in a goddamn car!” he snapped at the deputies while blocking Jensen’s path to a ranting Tom. “Radio Donna at the station to call the damn DA and tell him this asshole’s broken that restraining order for the last time. He’s attacked Jared and also Jensen and I’m locking him up! I have him, Ackles!” he grabbed onto Jensen to keep him from making the situation worse. “Jensen!”

“I don’t care what he does or says to me but he put bruises on Jared, JD!” Jensen was making himself take deep breaths to calm down when a sound from inside had his head snapping around. “He broke into my house basically. He kicked in my damn door! Arrest the bastard and I’ll press charges in addition to whatever Jay has to press but this needs to stop before…before he goes too far like…before it goes too far.”

JD had been Sheriff when he got the call that Jensen’s boyfriend had finally gone down that too far path and nearly killed him so he knew the memories this had brought back. He was in the midst of reassuring the pissed off firefighter when Jensen jerked away from him to start inside to check on Jared and his son.

“Go check on them. I’ll leave a car out front in case he has buddies but he’ll be locked up and this time I think the DA will tell his fancy lawyers where to go unless they come up with a real good compromise,” he saw the worry and anger simmering on the surface and knew it was best he got the still ranting moron in the car to the station before Jensen lost his temper or worse…Kane or Murray made an appearance. “Jensen, I’m sorry. I know I should’ve had a car patrolling by here more but…”

“But you’re undermanned and over budget. Yeah, I know,” Jensen paused at the door to look back, face deadpan. “I wonder what it’ll take before people start to realize how dangerous guys like Welling really are. I hope someone doesn’t have to die before it happens.”

“Jensen…damn it,” JD muttered as the door was shut firmly in his face. He heard Jensen struggle with the lock but stayed on the porch until he heard the lock engage and knew by the end of the week if not that night a deadbolt would be installed…and he’d be getting a visit from a furious Chris Kane.

Jensen paused after he finally got his front door closed and locked to close his eyes and just breathe until he was calmer. He knew as soon as Jared saw the bruise and thin line of blood on his face that he’d probably get upset but he didn’t want to take more time before checking on his new surrogate family to clean up so he quickly took the steps two at a time.

He reached for the knob to his door, found it locked and blew out a breath that Jared had been with it enough to follow his instructions. Now he just had to hope he could hear him past his own fears to unlock the door.

“Jared? Jay, you can unlock the door now. It’s me,” Jensen knocked lightly, making his voice sound a lot calmer than he still felt; especially when he didn’t hear a response and was just starting to get worried. “Sweetheart? Please, open the door. JD dragged Welling off in cuffs. He won’t come back. Jay, I need to know you and Tristan are okay. Can you open the door for me?”

Jensen was just considering the difficult task of breaking in his bedroom when he heard the lock on the door unlatch and the knob turn slowly. “Hey there,” he murmured softly, opening the door fully with the full expectation to have to draw Jared out of his shell or a corner. He was not expecting to open the door so he could step into his room and to immediately have his arms filled with a visibly upset and shaking Jared. “Jay…”

“Jen…” Jared’s voice was low, ragged and broken from both choked back tears and the bruises on his throat from being choked. “Is…he…did they take him? I…I didn’t know it was him at the…I’m sorry he hurt the door and…”

The moment Jared had gotten to the bedroom, he’d locked the door and then curled on the bed with his frightened little son in his arms. He could hear the rants and shouts of Tom even through the thick and heavy closed glass windows of the room.

He’d shushed and soothed the crying baby even though his own tears were falling. Jared longed to have Jensen upstairs with them but understood that it had been Jensen who’d kept them safe until the Sheriff and his men arrived to take his ex into custody and hopefully away from them.

Jared had stayed on the bed until he jumped at the knock on the door until Jensen’s voice registered and he held Tristan tightly to his chest with one arm while opening the door with his other. Then the moment the older man stepped into the bedroom he was moving into his arms to just feel strong arms wrapping around to hold them both, knowing they were safe.

He was rambling and Jared knew it until he happened to lift his eyes to see the rapidly forming bruise along Jensen’s jaw and the line of drying blood that was there. “He…he hurt you!” Jared instantly felt sick to his stomach, body shaking so much that if Jensen’s arm suddenly hadn’t moved he feared he might have lost his grip on a suddenly squirming Tristan. “Jen…oh my God. I’m…I’m sorry. I never…mhmm.”

Jensen’s lips closed over Jared’s in a quick kiss that was meant to stop the shaking words as much as soothe them both. He felt how badly Jared was shaking in his arms and quickly got them to the bed before taking a wide-eyed baby out of his father’s arms to place him back in his cocoon of pillows with his toys until he could calm Jared down again.

“He didn’t hit me as much as shove my face into the door when my back was turned,” Jensen told him after he was sure Jared would be able to hear him. He wiped the now drying blood off his face with a slight wince of pain. “I was too quick; I shouldn’t have turnedmy back on him so it’s my fault. I know better. I’m fine. Are you?” he asked with concern as he took in the bruises on Jared’s face and especially around his throat. “Do you need to go to the ER for these or this?”

Jensen felt the lump on the back of Jared’s head when he ran his fingers through his hair, seeing him wince. “What happened here?”

“I wasn’t expecting the door to come flying open like it did so I fell back and hit my head on the step and my elbow on the floor,” Jared had forgotten the pain in his head until the bump was lightly touched. Then he cringed in pain and felt his stomach pitch dangerously. “I…I don’t think I need to go to the ER but I might have to lay down after I help you clean up in here or fix the door or…Jensen?”

Jared still wasn’t convinced Jensen was alright and he felt guilty that his friend had been hurt. He was trying to get his legs to stop shaking as well as his hands so he could stand up or pick up his son when he suddenly found himself flat on the bed with Jensen’s hand on his shoulder.

“If you’re dizzy or thinking you need to lay down then you’re going to lay down, hold Tristan so you both can get calm,” Jensen told him, letting his fingers rub over a tense shoulder until he felt it begin to relax and then he reached to pick a sleepy, red-cheeked baby up to place him on Jared’s chest. “I’m going to make some calls, get someone out here to fix the door correctly and install some new locks. Then I’ll fix dinner. If JD calls and wants complaints filled out he can bring them here or wait until you’re not dizzy and I’ll take you down while Danneel babysits.”

“No, I’m fine to help. I just need to feed Tristan cause I think he’s hungry after being upset and…” Jared had learned some of Jensen’s expressions; he knew the one he was seeing now meant he was supposed to stay in bed. “It’s my fault he came here, Jen. It’s my fault he hurt you. It’s…”

“It is not your fault about anything, Jared,” Jensen broke in seriously, palm smoothing over the side of Jared’s still pale face to smile when Jared turned into the touch. “Welling is an obsessed…” he paused to look at the baby and recalled what his mother used to say about small ears and held off saying what he wanted to. “It takes a lot to make someone like him let go but I think his family’s lawyer might be able to show him it’s better to cut his losses and let you go.”

Jared hoped it would be that simple. He was starting to adjust to not looking for a fist or raised voice with every start of a day. He also enjoyed being with his son and Jensen and didn’t want to risk losing that. “When I get a job, I will pay you back for everything.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to worry about that. Just close your eyes and sleep now,” Jensen kept his touch light until he finally say that Jared and the baby, after a quick snack for Tristan, had fallen to sleep. “Love you both, Jay,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Jared’s forehead as well as over Tristan’s soft dark hair before going back downstairs to stare at the front door; reaching for his phone to make some calls.

Over the next several days Jared learned that Jensen, when he set his mind to something, could accomplish a lot with very little effort. By the time he and the baby had woken up the evening of Tom’s attack, to come downstairs to help with dinner. He’d been surprised to see a new heavy wooden door with old fashioned rounded glass in the top had been installed along with a modern knob and a dead bolt.

He also found that Jensen’s idea of dinner that night was a combination of heated up pasta and lunch meat which actually made Jared more relaxed because he was happy that Jensen might not expect a four course meal every night.

The next day they had to go to the Sheriff’s station to sign complaints against Tom, while Danneel Harris agreed to take Tristan with her as she shopped for the list of things Jensen had given her. It was tense for Jared because Tom’s father as well as their attorney was there; Jensen never left his side as he told the DA and JD Morgan again what had happened.

The lawyer tried to interject on several things or scare Jared into recanting until finally the DA put a stop to the process by simply stating he’d be bringing several charges against Tom, both for his current actions as well as his past ones.

By the time Jensen was done explaining everything he’d heard as well as his own injuries and what the Sheriff and his deputies had seen and overheard; the senior Welling was telling his lawyer to shut the hell up and just make some deal that would keep the whole sordid affair out of the papers.

Jared wasn’t sure what would happen and was just relieved to finally be told they could go. He managed not to shake until he was inside the SUV with Jensen and then was promptly pulled into strong arms that held him.

“I’m here, Jay. I’m with you and it’s gonna be fine,” Jensen whispered against his hair while lightly rubbing his back, lips offering soothing kisses until he slowly felt some of the tension leaving Jared’s body. “Let’s go home.”

It was odd but it was in that moment that Jared actually began to believe he had a chance at actually having a home. He also suddenly realized he might have a real chance at a real, honest relationship with Jensen; one where Tristan could grow up without having to fear abuse of any kind.

“I love you,” he suddenly said out loud without any trace of his former hesitance or a tremble in his voice as he thought more about everything he’d been through and how much Jensen’s support was helping him to overcome a lifetime of fears and pain. “I…know I’ve said that but I…I just wanted you to hear it now or…I’m rambling again, damn it.”

Jensen had just pulled into the driveway which he was glad of because he suddenly wanted his full attention focused on Jared. “You can say that to me whenever you like, Jay,” he replied, shutting the engine off to turn in his seat and reach for a suddenly nervous hand.

It had been early on that Jensen realized that expressing love, either verbally or physically, wasn’t easy for this over emotional young man. He knew that had been due to years of being mocked and abused so to hear him expressing it now, like he just had, thrilled him. It also had an instant effect on him that was hard to ignore after so many years of being alone.

“I love you too,” he slipped Jared’s hand into his to squeeze it. “I know saying that isn’t easy and it’ll take time for you to start believing it and in me fully but whatever happens now it will happen at your speed,” he brought the hand in his up to press his lips to it and caught the adorable look of shock on Jared’s face. “We can go inside and start dinner or I can go up and try to clean my room or…”

“Or…you could make love to me,” Jared put in before he could talk himself out of it when the thought suddenly planted itself in his head. “While we have the house to ourselves, before Dani brings Tristan home…unless that’s going to be soon.”

Jensen’s brain had suddenly gone blank at the unexpected suggestion. He blinked quickly and was equally quick to stop Jared before he could retreat in fear that his innocent words had been taken wrong. “Dani said we’d be lucky if she brought him home before midnight and that yes, she does have those extra bottles you packed her,” he muttered as he still tried to get his head and body both working on the same wavelength again while keeping his promise to let Jared make the choices. “Are…are you sure you’re ready for that, Jay?” he asked quietly, going on quickly. “I mean, I don’t want you doing anything that you aren’t ready for and it might be too soon since Tristan and…”

“You don’t want to…” Jared’s nerves began to come back as he chewed his bottom lip only to gasp when Jensen’s mouth caught his in a kiss that was slightly more heated than their others have been.

“I do want to make love with you, Jay. I won’t ever deny that I want you like that because you are drop dead gorgeous but I also don’t want you to think we have to make love,” Jensen needed to be sure they were clear on that area. He knew only too well how it felt to think that sex was a way to pleasing someone. “Every time I touch you or hold you or we fool around a little more it’s hard not to take that next step or deepen the kiss a little but I’ve been where you are now. I know what you feel and I want you to be sure this is what you mmhm.”

It was Jared’s turn to break into the conversation with a heated kiss. He was still leery with kissing since he still believed he wasn’t good at it but when Jensen’s fingers slid around to cup the back of his neck, deepening the kiss he hoped they were on the same page again.

“The first time I had sex with Tom he pressured me into it. I wanted to wait until we’d been dating more than a week. More times than not I didn’t have a say in what we did or when we did it,” Jared began softly, suddenly hating the SUV’s front seat and wishing he’d kept his mouth shut until they were in the house. “If I was still with him now? He wouldn’t have cared that I’d just had a baby or if it might not be safe for me to have sex. He had ways around that and I was always too scared of him doing more than just cuffing me to fight back too hard after one time I did.”

“Jay,” Jensen had known Jared’s life with his ex had been bad, he’d heard Jared’s story about the night of terror that led to Tristan. He also wished he had done more to the asshole the other day after realizing just how bad he’d been. “I’d never…”

“I know you wouldn’t. I know you’re fighting to do what’s best for me and not to rush me. I love you for that,” Jared turned more to face Jensen, nervous but also determined. “I won’t say for sure that I won’t freak out cause the memories of Tom are still so real and raw but…I’d like to try…if you do.”

Jensen met and held deep wet hazel eyes for a long moment before drawing Jared closer to gently kiss him. “I do,” he whispered against soft lips that he teased lightly with his teeth until he felt Jared shudder with a low moan. “We really should move this indoors though before I see what the back seats are like in this thing.”

“Yeah, inside,” Jared nodded, wondering when his seatbelt had been undone but not giving a damn. He hoped his hands weren’t shaking as much as he thought they were when his door was suddenly opened and he welcomed Jensen’s heated kiss.

He wasn’t sure how they managed to get inside the house in one piece given that they didn’t break apart very long except for Jensen to get the door unlocked and opened. Then the moment the door closed and locked the heat and passion between them seemed to increase and by the time Jared’s back hit the mattress in Jensen’s room he was certain his brain would melt.

“Jen?” he blinked his eyes clear when he felt Jensen pull back just slightly and he worried that he’d done something wrong. “What’s…” he groaned as hot lips closed over his neck to suck onto the pulse point in his neck while hands moved over his chest before slipping under his shirt. “Oh my God.”

Jensen’s lips curved as he lightly kissed and licked his way over Jared’s neck and he heard the sounds he was making. “Like this, babe?” he asked lowly, lifting his head to see hazel eyes that were already blown wide with lust and passion. “When was the last time you’ve felt like this, Jared?”

“Never,” Jared couldn’t think to lie or even blush at the admission. He was too busy losing himself in the feel of calloused hands touching him without pain or force. He wanted to touch back but was still mindful enough to be scared of that.

“Touch me, Jay,” Jensen could see the want shining in those eyes so bad. He also wanted to feel those hands on him so like he had with everything else since meeting this fragile soul he encouraged Jared gently to move past his fears. “I want you to touch me. I want to watch you as you do.”

Jensen pulled back enough to pull his t-shirt over his head and heard the low moan of want from Jared; he also felt his body begin to do more than just heat at the first hesitant touch of fingers on his chest.

It was right then that the firefighter also suddenly recalled the one reason he hardly ever removed his shirt but fought down the urge to tense when Jared’s fingertips lightly ghosted over the still faint scar on his stomach.

“I know you said I was good looking but I’ll never see myself like you do,” Jared cocked his head to the side while sitting up so he could touch Jensen more, fingers tracing the scar that he could feel made his friend nervous. “You’re the gorgeous one, Jensen. This scar doesn’t change that because it’s a part of you, of what makes you the man you are inside and out.”

Jensen had heard similar comments before but had rolled his eyes. This time he listened to the belief in Jared’s voice, saw the love in his eyes and actually let himself believe the words. “I said you were gorgeous and you are,” he correctly softly, voice dropping lower to meet Jared’s kiss with one of his own. “Let me show you how much?”

Jared nodded blindly, reaching to remove his shirt only to have his hands moved aside so Jensen could do it himself with soft words of love, gentle touches with his hands and lips as Jared learned that so much of what he thought was normal or expected with sex between two guys was wrong.

He lost himself to the touch and sounds and only seriously tensed once after he realized he was fully naked. “Once I get a little stronger I’ll start working out or…God, I love it when you kiss me there,” he groaned as Jensen lightly kissed along his jaw.

“Jay, you’re fine,” Jensen had heard Jared describe himself as fat or ugly and really longed to hurt everyone who’d ever said that to him because even after having a baby this young man’s body was not either of those things. In fact, Jensen still worried that Jared was too thin given his height and build, deciding to see about correcting that later on. “Tell me if you don’t like anything or if you want to stop.”

Jared couldn’t imagine stopping now but he suspected if he asked to that Jensen would find the willpower to given that he could feel the erection that was straining Jensen’s jeans as he slowly, carefully worked to open him.

That had shocked Jared as much as anything else had. He’d been expecting to roll onto his stomach and grit his teeth until his body adjusted to the large cock that he suspected had to be hurting his friend by this point but instead of shedding his jeans and shoving into him like Jared expected, Jensen had applied some warming lube to his fingers and began to tease Jared’s tight puckered hole with a gentle touch.

Now as he laid there shivering at the feelings coursing through him, trying not to find some friction for his own hard and dripping cock he thought he’d go mad before Jensen actually got to where they both wanted him to be. “Jen…” he arched back to move his hips into the three fingers that were now stretching him in hopes to urge Jensen to go faster or to touch that one spot that had nearly sent Jared off the bed.

“I know, babe, I know,” Jensen’s voice was tight, his husky voice even more so as he fought his body’s desire to be fully sheathed inside Jared right the fuck now given how hard it had been not to come the first time he felt tight muscles clamp around his fingers. “I just don’t want to hurt you more than this first time might and…”

“Jen, I love you and I know I might seem fragile or naïve a lot of the time right now but after everything I’ve been through growing up and with Tom the one thing that I am not is breakable so please…please just get your cock in my ass before I do it myself,” Jared’s Texas drawl was out more in his body’s need for more than what it was getting.

Jensen chewed the inside of his cheek to keep his amused smile from showing. He loved seeing Jared grow more confident in any way, especially in the bedroom where it was plain from the first touch that he’d only been taught to be used and abused.

He kissed the back of Jared’s neck before sliding off the bed to skim out of his jeans and boxer briefs, feeling eyes on him even before he heard a soft murmur and this time his lips did curve into a smile. “Like what you see, Jay?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Jared’s heart felt like it was beating in his throat when he turned his head to watch Jensen shed the rest of his clothes and nearly swallowed his tongue at the lean ruggedly built body as well as the fully hard, engorged and dripping cock. “I’ll like it better once that is inside me.”

“Huh. I never originally pictured you for a bossy bottom but never let it be said that I didn’t give you what you wanted,” Jensen was quick to kiss his soon to be lover to let Jared know he was teasing, that his words were taken lightly. “Just let me grab…”

Jared saw where Jensen’s eyes and hand were moving to and tried to twist to grab his hand. “No,” he stopped him. “Please…I’ve never been with anyone but Tom to have sex with and he was always manic about using condoms except for that one time. I’d rather you…I mean, I get it if you want to use one cause we don’t know one another and I don’t know when I might be…I’m rambling.”

“Yeah, you are but it’s cute when you ramble about things you think I might be worried about which I’m not worried about,” Jensen moved his hand away from the nightstand drawer to settle back behind Jared, reaching for the bottle of lube instead. “I was more using it because I wasn’t sure if you’d want to have sex without it this first time. If it’s okay with you then it’s okay with me,” he saw Jared’s nod and small smile and slicked his cock as well as squirting some along the crease of Jared’s ass; free hand rubbing soothing circles over his hip. “Scared?”

“A little,” Jared admitted shyly, trying to relax by reminding himself that Jensen was totally different from Tom. “I just want to please you.”

“Sweetheart, this’ll please both of us,” Jensen promised in a low husky whisper, leaning closer to kiss Jared gently while letting the head of his cock find the stretched hole to begin a slow insertion that soon had them both moaning in pleasure.

“Fuck,” Jared’s brain was too far gone to realize anything he might be saying. Normally he was always careful and kept his mouth shut because Tom hated to hear him when he fucked him but Jensen didn’t seem to mind. In fact Jensen was making a fair amount of noise himself as he slowly worked to slip into still tight heat while Jared struggled to stay still. “Jen…oh! Need to feel you now. Please just fuck me.”

Jensen had to close his eyes to keep from following that idea. His cock and body both wanted to just pull out and give one solid thrust that would encase him fully inside Jared but he knew that would hurt his…boyfriend and refused to do that.

It rocked him when the word boyfriend came to mind and realized that was what Jared had become to him and despite his promises to never let anyone into his heart again he didn’t doubt this choice. He wanted Jared and also Tristan to one day be more but would still take this slow and not rush the younger man into anything.

Right then he just wanted to do this one thing and just as Jensen was certain his patience wouldn’t hold out he felt the last ring of muscle give and felt Jared’s body meet his fully; matching his groan with Jared’s.

It had never been like this with Jason as he held himself still to give them both time to adjust. In fact as Jensen pressed soft kisses over Jared’s shoulders and face he figured his sex life with Jason was probably a lot like Jared’s had been with Welling.

“Move please?” Jared’s voice was shaking from the stress of desiring more but unsure how to ask for it. He’d been waiting for the searing pain or any pain but all he really felt was a slight burning sensation that was soon replaced by a pleasure like he’d never known before. “Oh. Oh! Jensen! That feels…”

“Does it hurt?” Jensen was worried. His blood was on fire and he wasn’t sure he could stop but if Jared was in too much pain or got scared then he would find a way. “Jay? Tell me if…”

“Good. It feels so good with you,” Jared looked over his shoulder, lashes wet from tears he hadn’t realized had filled his eyes until Jensen’s thumb brushed them away. “I…I’m okay. You can move…unless this is all there is and…mhmm.”

Jensen kissed him slowly at first, letting the heat build before carefully licking over soft plush lips that opened on a gasp; giving him silent permission to enter and explore, which he did carefully.

“Oh, there’s so much more than just this, sweetheart,” he promised in between kisses. “We could spend the rest of our lives together and I won’t have time to show you everything there is to making love between two people who really love one another,” he kissed the corner of Jared’s lips with a smile that met his darkening green eyes. “But I’ll do my best.”

Jared blushed at the unspoken lust he heard and saw there but didn’t feel any fear as he gave himself over to Jensen’s hands and let his body react on instinct instead of how he’d been told to.

Jensen was careful to keep control despite what his body wanted. He gave Jared plenty of time to get used to what was happening between them, enjoying the feel of his lover moving back against him in perfect time with each of his thrusts.

Soon words became sparser; usually just a word, a name or a moan could be heard in the room as flesh met flesh and Jared was lost in the feelings surrounding him. He’d about lost it the first time Jensen’s cock hit that spot inside him that caused lights to flash in front of his eyes and him to let out a moan of Jensen’s name while begging for more as well as for release.

“Jensen…need to come soon,” he gasped, trying to hold out but the feelings he was experiencing this time made it hard. He didn’t want to come before Jensen but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out and when a strong arm suddenly wrapped around his chest to bring him up and back, also bringing Jensen’s cock right against his prostate Jared didn’t have a chance to try to stop his orgasm as it hit. “Jen!”

Jensen had heard and felt how strained Jared was getting and knew he couldn’t draw this time out. They both needed release and then sleep before the baby got home. He was equally strung out from giving Jared what pleasure he could from this time so he wrapped his arm around Jared’s chest to bring him back to lean against his chest while making certain he hit that spot with each powerful thrust.

He heard Jared’s moan then heard him gasp a second before he felt tight inner muscles suddenly clamp down hard on his cock and knew what was about to happen. “It’s okay, Jared. It’s okay that this happened,” he was quick to assure, deep voice huskier than normal as he managed to keep moving inside Jared while watching the younger man’s face as his climax hit him hard without Jensen even touching his cock. “So beautiful, Jay. You are so damn gorgeous like this.”

Jared thought he heard Jensen’s voice speaking in his ear, felt his lips kissing along his face but he was lost in the intense pleasure that was racing through his body. He turned his face to meet Jensen’s lips in a long deep kiss when he felt Jensen’s body jerk and then felt warmth filling him and groaned into the kiss as his body reacted to feeling Jensen’s own orgasm filling him with come.

He briefly thought about the chances of getting pregnant but knew Dr. Sam had said it might take a year or more before that happened. Jared hadn’t thought he could handle another baby but he loved kids and knew he’d want one with Jensen. He just wasn’t sure if Jensen would want to have a child that he hadn’t carried himself and if that was the case he’d understand.

Jared was so lost in his thoughts as well as feeling Jensen’s hand stroking his now sensitive cock to help milk his orgasm for all the pleasure he could give him that Jared lost track of time as well as himself; he didn’t realize those lights dancing in front of his eyes meant anything until the force of his orgasm, the pleasure and exhaustion suddenly swamped him and he felt himself falling into darkness with Jensen’s name a whisper on his lips.

“Jay?” Jensen caught a flash of white a second before Jared’s body went limp in his arms and he was quick to tighten his grip, supporting them both while working through his own orgasm. He laid light kisses along Jared’s jaw and face, seeing no distress on his lax face but a soft smile playing on his lips as the force of the climax had knocked the wind out of his lover. “Love you, Jared,” he whispered against sweat dampened hair.

Jensen gave a few more gentler thrusts as he felt his own climax slowing down. He felt the muscles in his thighs burning from strain so he moved carefully to lay Jared down on a clean dry part of the bed; he stayed inside him a moment longer until his breathing leveled off and then he slipped out with a whisper to soothe the soft whimper as Jared felt the disconnection.

“Shhh, I’m here, Jared. I’m just going to clean us up and then I’ll hold you,” he replied softly while moving to the bathroom to grab a warm rag to wipe them both clean and then slipped into a pair of old jeans while putting a pair of old sleep pants on Jared.

By the time Jared’s eyes pried themselves back open he found himself dressed, the comforter removed and covered in a soft blanket as well as held protectively in strong arms. “Thank you,” he whispered, fingers spreading over Jensen’s chest to feel it taken and held. “That was…will it always be like that?”

“It’ll be better,” Jensen replied, fingers carding back through Jared’s hair to see sleepy eyes staring at him as he smiled. “Each time will be better because we’ll get to know each other more and you’ll come to see what you like to do,” he brushed the pad of his thumb over Jared’s cheek with a loving smile. “Once you get more comfortable with yourself and this, if you wanted I’d let you top sometimes too.”

If he wasn’t so tired Jared was certain his eyes would’ve bugged out at that. He’d never topped before and never thought Jensen would want to bottom given his past but didn’t see anything but love in deep green eyes.

Jared couldn’t find the words he wanted to say so he nodded, yawning. “Love you,” he mumbled, trying to squint to see a clock. “Do we have time for a quick nap before Tristan gets home?”

“Yeah, we have time,” Jensen knew Dani would call when she was on her way so he had his cell phone close to the bed as he felt Jared move closer in his arms before heavy eyes drifted closed. They shared a softer kiss with not heat, just love. “Love you too, Jay,” he murmured, closing his own eyes with no worries and just thoughts of the future.

** 12 Months Later: **

“Soooo? Am I babysitting?” Danneel Harris asked as she watched Jensen change after a day of training new recruits. “It is a special occasion after all.”

Jensen looked up from tying his boots to see the bright smile on her face. “The last time Jared and I let you babysit Tristan he came back with glitter all over him,” he reminded her, recalling the horror of that scene. “Jay swore you weren’t allowed near his son, Dani.”

“Oh, but it was fine when Chad had him and fed him mushed hotdog and cotton candy while getting a temporary tattoo of a baby rattle on his little arm?” she scoffed, shooting the mentioned firefighter a baleful look. “That’s better than a little glitter?”

“No, that was not better. In fact I’m lucky Jared’s still with me considering my friends have got to be the worst babysitters in the state,” Jensen returned sourly, running his fingers through his short hair to leave the top sticking up in damp spikes.

As he looked at his reflection in the small mirror on the inside of his locker he glanced to the small velvet box that had been sitting in his locker for the last month when he finally had paid off the set.

Jensen had been waiting for just the right moment to take the small velvet box home. Tonight seemed like a good night to do it given it would be something of an anniversary for them.

They’d met one year ago and despite the issues that finally took Tom Welling out of their lives as well as other issues from Jared’s past, like his family, Jensen had never regretted any of it and looked forward to spending his life with the man he loved and the soon to be one year old that he thought of as his already.

Jensen was about to say something to pacify his miffed friend when his phone rang. He smiled as he hit the screen. “Hey, babe, I’m on my way home but Dani wants to know if she can babysit. I’m telling her no,” his smile seemed to falter when he didn’t hear the soft Texas drawl of his boyfriend like he was expecting. “Jared?”

“No, it’s not your new whore, Jenny. But thanks for telling me his name. I’d like to know the name of the guy I’m about to slit his throat for thinking he could have what I swore no one would.”

Jensen’s blood had turned to pure ice while he had to grab onto his locker the moment he heard a voice that he thought he never would again; a voice of a man he knew was very capable of carrying out that very clear threat.

“Jason,” he whispered, mind going blank to everything but the sound of his ex-boyfriend’s icy tone, the screaming baby in the background and the all too real terror in his heart.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some violence in this chapter but nothing too serious.

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Seven**

Red lights, traffic, or anything else that might be between Jensen Ackles and the home he was racing back to didn’t register to him. He only registered one thing and that was his family was in danger from a piece of his past he thought was long since gone.

The icy weak kneed terror had been surging through him from the moment he heard Jason Mann’s voice over the phone and realized where he was and who he was with.

He’d nearly dropped the phone and had to tune out his suddenly concerned friends who’d all but swarmed him when he said the name of the man who’d not only turned his world into a nightmare but had also cost him his daughter.

“What…what do you want Jason?” he demanded, making his voice steadier than it felt like being right then. “Get the hell out of my house and away from Jared and Tristan. You have issues then you have ‘em with me. He’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Oh, I think he does, Jensen,” Jason Manns sneered into the phone while looking down at the unconscious young man who’d tried to refuse him entrance to a house he still thought of as his. He had the nerve to actually thrown a useless punch to try to keep him away from the now screaming brat in a playpen. “He thinks he can move in where only I belong. You know I told you I’d be back. I know you were just confused back then. I’ll even overlook those months you cost me in a cell cause I know those stupid assholes like Kane and Murray put it in your head that you could do better than me.”

Jensen closed his eyes and fought the familiar knots forming in his stomach. “You don’t belong anywhere but a goddamn cell and you know we’re through, Jason,” he forgot what he was doing in his haste to grab for his keys. “We were over long before you tried to kill me and cost me my daughter. We were over months before that but I was too stupid to see you for what you really were; an abusive asshole who only cared for what I could give you. Let me talk to Jared.”

“Oh, he’s taking a little nap after his head connected with my fist and the wall a few times when he said I wasn’t coming in and that you didn’t want anything to do with me,” Jason smirked, nudging the still body with the toe of his boot. “Kid’s good looking I suppose in a homespun way but how the hell can you stand this brat? Is it yours, Jensen? Did you think I wouldn’t come back for you or make sure to keep that promise that no one would ever have you or make you happy except me?”

“Don’t you goddamn dare touch either of them, Jason,” Jensen’s temper suddenly sparked past his age old fear of Jason at the thought that Jared was hurt and the baby was crying like mad. “You have no claim on me anymore! You cost me everything five years ago and you won’t cost me what I’ve finally been able to find!”

“You think you’re brave enough to stand up to me Jensen?” Jason demanded in a hard voice while shouting at the baby to shut up. “You’ve never been anything but a coward! You stood up to me once and that landed you in the ER. I told you not the have that thing but you thought you could disobey me. I told you that I’d never allow you to be happy with someone else and now what happens to this guy or this loudmouth kid will be on your head!”

The phone cut off and all Jensen could see was Jared and the baby in danger. He was oblivious to Chris’s snarling or Chad demanding to know what was happening as Dani was already on the phone with the Sheriff’s office. He was out the door without thinking to wait as he knew he’d waited too long already and that time might cost him.

In five years, he’d never once thought that Jason would come back or never allowed himself to seriously think about it. He’d gone through all the proper procedures when he’d been released from jail. He’d filed protective orders, restraining orders and anything else that would keep the man away from him, his home and also his workplace. In five years Jason hadn’t made any attempts to come close to him…until now.

Jensen swerved around a slow moving BMW, took a turn dangerously but didn’t care about anything but getting home, getting to what he honestly considered his family.

The last several months had been a learning time for both he and Jared. After the first time of making love Jensen slowly learned the things that Jared liked or didn’t really like. There was also the still occasional nightmare or bad moment when Tom Welling’s memory would rear its ugly head but for the most part they settled into a warm loving relationship.

It took a few months of coaxing before Jensen could talk Jared into topping the first time, which was a new thing for both of them. Jensen hadn’t bottomed for anyone since Jason so that night it was his turn to be slightly nervous but found that he didn’t mind doing it with Jared.

Both Tristan and Jared grew in ways that made Jensen so happy. He loved it that slowly Jared was growing more confident with himself to make decisions about things in the house without feeling the need to ask Jensen every single time he wanted to try a new recipe or when he asked if they could maybe change the carpet color in the nursery.

The most nervous time had come when Jensen’s parents had decided to come for a visit with only a one day notice and Jared nearly had a panic attack that the house wasn’t clean enough or that they wouldn’t approve of him and Tristan living with Jensen.

Jensen knew it had been because he’d mentioned his new living arrangements to his father one evening on the phone that had brought the sudden visit on and had silently prayed all his reassuring was right, that his parents would adore the loving father and bright eyed baby as much as he did.

Donna Ackles had stepped into the house, gave it her usual brief visual inspection before setting eyes on Tristan in his new baby swing and had gone straight for the baby to ohh and ahh over how big and dark his eyes were and how adorable his dimples were. Meanwhile, Alan Ackles shook hands with a clearly nervous Jared while Jensen did the introductions.

The senior Ackles had been uneasy upon learning their son was living with another man and that the man had a young child but after only an hour of seeing Jensen with Jared and Tristan they’d known it was the right choice. Donna had promptly decided to spoil her new surrogate grandson as much as she could in their short trip from Texas.

Now Jensen could only hope his Mom had other chances to do that as he pulled into his driveway. He slammed on the brakes, barely thought to shut the engine off before he was bolting up the walk to the front door. He could hear the ragged, choked cries of the baby he thought of as his already and felt his already hot temper spike.

The front door was splintered, the lock appeared to have been shot off and that made his heart speed up even more. “Jared!” he yelled, coming in the door to make the turn into the living room where Tristan’s cries were the loudest, only to stop in mid-step. “Jay!”

Tristan was laying in his playpen. His little cheeks were red as fat angry tears still rolled down them while his eyes were wide with fear; that Jensen could only pray his young mind wouldn’t remember as he looked at the same scene that had frozen Jensen.

Jared was tied to one of the high back chairs out of the dining room. His arms tied behind him while his ankles were tied to the front legs. His head was drooping with his chin touching his chin as blood could be seen matting his long dark hair as well as what of his bruised face that Jensen could see.

The worst of it, the more terrifying part though was the sight of Jason standing behind him with a knife at his throat as he jerked Jared’s head back to show glassy eyes that struggled to open, to find the voice that called for him.

“Well, I guess you’re looking good,” Jason eyed Jensen with a hard stare, shifting the knife in warning when he tensed to take a step. “Stay there or I’ll slit his throat right now,” he threatened.

“Jay? Can you look at me babe?” Jensen ignored his ex-boyfriend to focus on Jared, stepping in front of the baby while also backing up enough that he could reach down to lay a hand on a badly shaking little boy to rub it lightly over his back. “Jared? C’mon now, sweetheart. I need you to try to look at me without moving too much. I’m here now and I promise you’re safe.”

“He’s not safe so quit lying to him,” Jason growled, twisting his fingers in long hair just to make his captive cry out. He enjoyed seeing the fear in those hazel eyes but hadn’t realized yet that he wasn’t seeing that same fear in Jensen’s eyes like he expected he would. “I wanted you here so you could watch as I use this knife to slit his throat. Maybe I’ll let him beg or make you beg for his life but I might just kill all of you and be done with it.”

Jared’s eyes finally managed to lock on Jensen’s to see the worry there but also the angry determination that he’d come to realize meant that his boyfriend wasn’t scared for himself but for Jared and the baby. He could feel the pain from the earlier attack as well as from the ropes binding his wrists but the knife at his throat was almost the most terrifying to Jared; almost as he had another reason to be scared of the man who’d barged into the home he was now just coming to fully accept was also his.

He felt the blade touch his throat with more pressure while fingers pulled his hair but he strained to keep his eyes locked on Jensen, needing that connection to be able to stay calm.

Jared had been terrified when the man had first shot the lock off the front door when Jared had refused to open it. He’d been scared for his son as well as for Jensen so he’d tried to fight back. He had a few inches on the guy but couldn’t match the man’s fury or his beating that eventually took him to his knees while he tried to beg the guy not to hurt the crying baby or Jensen.

He came back to consciousness trying to protect himself from the brutal fists and kicks he could feel as the guy, Jason, ranted that Jensen was a fool to think it would be that easy to get rid of him or replace him.

Now he held those deep green eyes to watch as Jensen flicked his gaze to the man holding the blade before moving back to him to nod his head subtly as if to indicate that it would be okay.

“Let Jared and the baby go, Jason. What you think is between us is between us. Jay and Tristan aren’t involved in your hate for me. Let him loose so he can take Tristan out of the room,” Jensen longed to take the crying baby in his arms to soothe him, especially when chubby arms tried to reach for him like Tristan had learned to do when wanting Jensen to pick him up. “You have me here. I’ll do whatever you want…just let them leave.”

“Jen…” Jared’s voice choked off with a sharp cry as the knife slashed his cheek.

“Jason!” Jensen snapped at the cry of pain from Jared, hating to see the terror in Jared’s eyes or the blood on his face; stomach clenching in fear but still he didn’t feel the type of fear he normally had with Jason.

The fear in Jensen was more in line that he might not be able to protect those he loved. He didn’t fear for himself because he knew that he’d give his life to protect Jared and Tristan. He feared for Jared because he recognized the look in Jason’s eyes right then.

“Damn it! Leave Jay alone and hurt me if you have to hurt anyone!” he saw the flash of fear in Jared’s eyes but had to focus on Jason for the moment. Jensen knew he needed to keep his obsessive ex’s attention on him and needed to get him away from Jared. “I’m the one who put you in jail! I’m the one you’re angry with!”

“Yeah, because if you would’ve just been a good boy and followed my orders we wouldn’t be in this mess now,” Jason looked down before giving Jared’s head a slap as he stepped away to move toward where Jensen had slowly moved toward the center of the floor, away from the playpen. “We were perfect together, Jensen,” he moved his free hand up to touch Jensen’s face and frowned when he noticed the slight cringe. “You don’t like my touch anymore, baby?” he gripped Jensen’s jaw tightly, digging his fingers in just to see the man wince. “You like his better? Have you fucked him, Jensen? Have you let him touch what’s mine? Has he fucked you? Has he?”

Jason’s rage that was already boiling bubbled over suddenly when he jerked Jensen forward to press the flat of the knife to his throat to warn him to stay still as he crushed their mouths together in a hard kiss.

Jensen’s skin crawled at being touched much less kissed by Jason. He knew if he fought back that Jason would cut him and that would leave Jared and the baby defenseless so he fought his instincts and remained motionless.

Jared could see the disgust on Jensen’s face as the other man forced himself on him. He saw his fists clench but stay at his sides to avoid having his throat slashed by the blade that was too close to his skin.

Twisting his hands in the ropes that tied him, Jared’s head was swimming as was his stomach but he also felt something else; a spark of courage that he’d only felt the day he fought back against Tom.

“Don’t…don’t touch him!” he yelled the words even before he realized he was going to, love and the need to protect Jensen who’d protected him so often rising up despite his fear and pain. “You don’t have the right to hurt Jensen again! You’re just a bully! A bully who cost Jen his daughter! He doesn’t want you! He doesn’t need you! You need him but you’ll never have him!”

Jensen’s blood went cold with outright terror. He felt Jason go rigid at Jared’s words and while Jensen had never been prouder of the courage it took for the scared young man to stand up for him, he also wished he hadn’t picked right that moment because Jason was already whirling with his knife raised to cut. “Jason, no!” he grabbed the wrist holding the knife and yanked back to pull Jason away from where he was going to stab Jared. “He’s right! I told you we were through and I wanted you out of my life five years ago. I don’t know why you chose to come back now but please just go away. Ugh!”

A hard fist to the face knocked Jensen back, nearly falling into the playpen if he hadn’t twisted at the last moment to land hard on his side. “Jason!”

“No asshole like this talks to me like that or tells me that I’m not getting what I came back here for!” Jason screamed, stalking back to Jared to glare down with a sneer. “Besides, I was paid a couple thousand dollars to take pretty boy out of the picture,” he shot Jensen a smirk before looking back to see surprise on Jared’s face. “My new band was doing a gig in some town outside of Palo Alto a month or so ago. We were finishing up when I overheard this slick dressed rich boy whining to the bartender how his backstabbing boyfriend trumped up a bunch of charges to get him thrown in a cell while he moved on with his life with some firefighter up in the hills of California. The guy was only too happy to spill to a sympathetic ear.”

Jensen swore to make Tom Welling pay for causing this mess given that one of the conditions of how he only spent less than 11 months in minimum security facility was that he had to stay away from them, had to never do anything to bring harm to Jared or Tristan in either direct or indirect way and he was certain that this one just broke a couple of those rules.

“So it looks like you dumped a really obsessive douchebag for Jenny, kiddo,” Jason backhanded Jared hard enough to snap his head to the side, tipping the chair dangerously to the side. “He wants you to bleed like a stuck pig he said. Paid me a lotta cash to make that happen so maybe I’ll finish up my business with my boy here and then…”

“No,” Jensen’s temper had been on the surface before but the thought of Welling paying Jason to hurt Jared just as he’d reassured the younger man that he could live his life free of fear pushed it past the surface. He saw Jason hit Jared again, knocking him and the chair he was tied to down the floor and heard the cry of pain as well as anguish and knew something was wrong. “No, you’re not touching him again, you goddamn bastard!”

“Ain’t nothing you can do to stop me,” Jason sneered, starting to reach down to punch Jared but was torn with kicking him when he suddenly turned at an unexpected sound that shocked him almost as much as the body that plowed into him to take him away from a helpless Jared. “You think you’re so brave, Jensen? You clearly don’t remember what I did the last time you tried to…ugh!”

Jensen remembered that only too well. He still had flashes of that beating on certain nights when he used to live alone and would sit on the steps to stare at the hall where he’d laid until Chris and Chad found him. He knew what Jason could do to both him and Jared right now but all Jensen cared about right then was getting the knife wielding asshole away from Jared.

“Yeah, I remember what you did to me that night, Jason!” he heard the blade hit the floor and was quick to knock it out of reach even as he was rolling to his feet, grunting when his ankle was hooked to try to pull him back down but he was able to avoid the move. “I remember you attacking me. I remember you beating me to within an inch of my life as well as injuring my little girl. I remember whose fault it is that I will never carry a child of my own again.

“I won’t ever forget what you cost me but I’m also not the same doormat you used to abuse either!” Jensen wasn’t fully aware of when his fist landed a solid blow to his ex-boyfriend’s jaw or when he took a punch to his own face but ignored it in favor of wrapping a hand in Jason’s shirt while his other rained hard blows in a rapid fire succession. “If anything you taught me how to fight back, how not to let myself be used like I let you use me for so damn long or to believe your lies that I was useless!”

“You were nothing before you met me and you know it!” Jason spat out between the blows he couldn’t block as he got in a couple good shots himself, finally knocking Jensen off of him so he could get to his feet to try to find his blade. “You thought you could be a doctor! Please, you were a decent guitar player that people liked for your looks! I carried you! I made you! You should thank me for getting rid of that thing so you weren’t saddled with a kid just like I’ll get rid of…ahh!”

Jensen’s hand caught the wrist that aimed at his jaw, jerking it down and back while twisting the wrist with enough force that he heard bones break. “You will never touch that baby!” he growled, not noticing that the baby’s cries has slowed down and was not soft sniffles and little whines. “Tristan might not be mine with Jared but I couldn’t love him any more than I do and I will always consider him part mine! You will not hurt Jared! I will go to jail and I would rather see you dead before you put your goddamn hands on him!”

“Or maybe I’ll gut you like a fish!” Jason yelled, getting a break as some of Jensen’s strength seemed to leave him and he lashed out with a hard kick while trying to twist on the floor to find his knife or his jacket with his gun in it only to yell out in pain when a boot suddenly came down on his unbroken wrist to pin it to the floor. “What the fuck?”

“Hey there asshole, remember me?” Chris Kane’s voice was low, gravelly and filled with hate as he glared down at the one man he would probably always hate. “Or I should say, remember us?”

As Jason started to snarl a few curses up at Chris, Jensen finally came back to his senses enough to look around him to see that sometime in the past few minutes his friends had arrived and the sounds of sirens closing in meant the local law was also close.

Jensen’s gaze shot to the now empty playpen before noticing that Danneel had Tristan cradled in her arms and was trying to soothe him while Chad Michael Murray was kneeling beside an unmoving Jared to try to cut him free of the ropes while also feeling for his pulse.

“Jared!” he forgot his own spinning head or how his knee was aching from a kick to it as he hurried back to drop to his knees beside his boyfriend; confident that Chris would handle Jason now until the Sheriff and his deputies arrived. “Jay! Chad? How is he?”

“He’s in shock and he’s been beat on and cut some but given what we all know that asshole could’ve done, it doesn’t look too bad,” the often too hyper firefighter/EMT was the exact opposite when he was working. He glanced up at Jensen with a critical eye. “You look pretty beat on yourself, dude.”

Ignoring that, Jensen pushed to his feet to go grab a blanket off the back of the sofa while pausing to press a soft kiss to Tristan’s forehead. “It’s okay, little boy. Daddy’s fine. You stay with Auntie Danneel while we get your Daddy off the floor. There should be a bottle in the fridge for him since Jay usually only breastfeeds him in the morning and at night,” he told her before going back to where Chad had just finished cutting Jared’s wrists loose. “Jay?”

Jensen tuned out the yelling that Jason was doing, as well as the snarling from Chris and Dani threatened to find a bat to beat the sadistic bastard in the head with if Chris didn’t shut him up soon. He was only focused on Jared as he brought him into his arms as carefully as possible; noticing that as Jared began to stir weakly his one arm went to his stomach.

“Jared? Babe, can you hear me?” he felt the pulse in Jared’s neck beating strongly but also a little erratically but Jensen noticed long lashes fluttering while Chad tried to listen to Jared’s stomach to hear if he heard anything that would tip the scales from mildly alarming to terrifying. “It’s okay now. You’re safe. Chris has Jason under control and Tristan’s with Dani. I have you and for as long as I live I will try to make this up to you. I never thought he’d come back much less that Welling would luck into him.”

“Oh, please let Dani beat his skull in then,” Chad looked up to try to encourage Chris to do just that when he suddenly frowned and his gaze went back down to Jared. “What the fuck?” he muttered, digging into the bag that another EMT had just brought him as an ambulance arrived just seconds ahead of a furious JD Morgan. “Jensen?”

“Huh? What?” Jensen was trying to split his attention between the cops who had a difficult time in pushing Chris away from Jason to making sure he shielded Jared in case Jason made a final move before JD put the cuffs on him himself after letting Chris have a free shot to shut the ranting man’s foul words up. “Something wrong?” he asked upon noticing the look on Chad’s face, his gut clenching. “Chad? What’s wrong? Is Jay alright?”

Chad had grabbed for a more sensitive stethoscope to listen again while wondering what the hell he’d done in a previous life to deserve this. “Kane! Stop snarling at the cops and come over here!” he called. “I want you here cause you’ll be either catching Jensen when he faints or goes for my throat.”

“Tell Jensen what he wants to know or I’ll go for your throat,” Chris decided but came over to kneel down. He saw the concern in Chad’s blue eyes as well as the increasing panic in Jensen’s. “What’s up?”

“We need to get that stretcher in here cause we need to get him to the ER to get checked out,” Chad heard what he thought he had before so now just had to find a way to broach it with his overly hyper friend when he winced as fingers grabbed for his shirt to yank him closer.

“Tell me what the hell you heard that’s freaking you out,” Jensen growled lowly, afraid that Jared had been hurt before he’d gotten there; especially by the way he noticed that Jared was trying to curl up into himself as if protecting his mid-section while also cling to Jensen.

Chad took a shaky breath, sighing when Chris glared at him. “Well, unless Jared got replaced by a pod person from outer space and his biology is different than ours…I’d say there might have been something he was planning to tell you tonight along with your little surprise for him cause I’m picking up a heartbeat,” he waited a beat to watch the color drain from Jensen’s face to add with a tiny smile. “Jared’s pregnant.”

Hours later Jensen was still reeling from his friend’s words. A piece of him thought Chad had to be wrong. They’d both been told that it could be a year or longer before Jared might actually conceive again. It hadn’t mattered to them as they’d had the discussion one night when Jared admitted his fears that Jensen might not want a child that he hadn’t carried.

“Sweetheart, I knew five years ago that I’d never carry a baby and I had settled myself never to know that joy, but of course I would want a baby with you,” Jensen had reassured the nervous young man with gentle kisses. “I love Tristan already and if we ever blessed with a baby I’ll love him or her just as much cause no matter what they will be our kids and I include Tristan in that too.”

Now as he sat in the quiet hospital room holding Jared’s still hand, Jensen was lost in his thoughts. Sam Ferris had been waiting for them at the doors to the ER and had promptly took control by ordering Jensen into another exam room to get looked over himself while she took Jared for x-rays and other tests to make sure both he and the new life blossoming inside him was healthy after Jason’s attack.

JD Morgan had stopped by to get Jensen’s statement, assuring him that he’d take care of everything and that included contacting the DA about Welling’s involvement.

Danneel had brought Tristan to the hospital to be looked over as well and as soon as it was plain that he was mostly scared, a little dehydrated and still hungry she’d agreed to take him to her place until Jensen could come for him.

Chris and Chad were in the hall in front of Jared’s room and no amount of yelling from Sam could budge either man.

“J…Jen?” a soft weak voice brought Jensen’s focus back to see glassy hazel eyes trying to open and stiff fingers worked to close around the hand holding his. “Okay?”

“Yeah, babe, you’re okay,” Jensen assured him but frowned when Jared tried to shake his head. “Jay? Tristan’s okay too. Dani has him and he’s safe.”

Jared’s body ached, his head swam and his mouth felt like cotton but he tried to clear his vision so he could see Jensen’s face while moving his other hand to attempt to touch Jensen’s chest. “You…okay?” he managed to get out, seeing the bruises on Jensen’s face and worried. “Hurt?”

“No, he didn’t hurt me,” Jensen squeezed the hand in his, chest tightening as he realized that Jared was worried if he was hurt. “He hurt you more but you’ll be fine after some rest,” he paused a beat before slowly taking Jared’s other hand in his and placing it over Jared’s stomach. “Both of you are fine.”

Jared’s eyes widened and then they grew wet as he tried to sit up only to be pushed back to the pillows. “Jen, I…I was gonna tell you soon. I wasn’t keeping it from you but I wanted to be positive before I told you and I just found out this morning so I was gonna…mhmm,” he groaned into the soft lips that caught his and stopped his hasty apology.

“I know that, Jay,” Jensen had never once thought anything else. He’d just been worried that Jason’s cruel attack had hurt the fetus and had a bad moment when every memory of losing his daughter had come back until Sam had finally reassured him that both Jared and the baby were fine but would need monitoring to be safe. “I guess we were both going to surprise one another tonight with something.”

Jared thought of the dinner he’d planned but before he could comment Jensen was moving to sit on the bed beside him, easing him into his arms and suddenly all of the fear and worry that he’d felt since the intrusion had started hit him and he turned to bury his head against the solid weight of Jensen’s chest.

“I didn’t want to let him in, Jen. I didn’t. I tried to keep him out and…” he broke off as he heard Jensen’s low deep voice soothing him softly. “I was so scared he’d hurt Tristan or hurt you. When I saw him grab you and kiss you…I…I know I put the baby at risk but…I had to get him away from you. I was afraid he’d…”

Jensen knew what Jason would’ve done. He also knew if he had to choose between protecting his family and letting Jason force himself on him that he probably would’ve taken the risk to himself but he wanted that thought away from them now that it was over.

“Jason’s in jail. He was still under probation so he broke that and will go back to jail under the sentence that he should’ve had to begin with,” he told Jared while holding him tightly and began to slowly relax himself once he had his boyfriend in his arms; feeling Jared shake a little until he also calmed down. “The DA is also going to see about having Welling’s probation revoked for his role in sending Jason back to my door. It is going to be okay.”

Jared lay still in Jensen’s arms, rubbing his hand lightly over his belly to feel Jensen kiss his hair lightly. “Are you happy about the baby, Jen?” he asked quietly, still nervous.

“I’m thrilled that you’re pregnant, Jay,” Jensen really was. He understood Jared’s concerns. “I won’t deny that I’ll always wonder what it would be like again but I do still know the feeling of those little or not so little kicks. I also recall the morning sickness, the swelled ankles and mood swings so I don’t miss those,” he chuckled at Jared’s little frown. “I will support you all the way through those moments because I’ll share the good times as well as the not so good times these next eight months. I love you, Jared,” he murmured with a soft kiss to Jared’s lips as he shifted so he could look up to meet the kiss fully. “I was going to ask you something tonight too.”

“Oh?” Jared didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to listen to Jensen talk or better he wanted to be let out of the hospital and go get Tristan so Jensen could hold them both but he suspected that Dr. Sam wasn’t planning on letting him out until the following afternoon. “What’s that?” he blinked sleepily as he felt Jensen shift a little so he could pull something out of his pocket. “Jen?”

“If this is still rushing things I’ll understand that, especially after this mess with Jason,” Jensen began slowly, opening the small black box to hold it around where Jared could see the plain gold band. “I love you Jared Tristan Padalecki. I have loved you from the moment we met. You have brought love and light back into my life. I once said that I wanted you for however long you wanted me well that also goes for Tristan. I want to adopt him as my son too but I also want you too, Jay.”

Jensen could see Jared’s eyes widening, heard his breathing pick up and took a chance. “I love you, I love Tristan and I will love any child we have together. I swore to never raise a hand to you no matter if we fight and I will always honor that,” he lifted the ring from the box to watch as Jared touched it lightly as if testing to see if he might be dreaming this. “I love you and I’m hoping you’ll take this ring from me. Would you marry me, Jared?”

Jared had been stunned to learn he was pregnant but this stunned him more. He hadn’t expected Jensen to want the full commitment deal much less that he’d want to formally adopt Tristan so as this all sank in he felt tears slip from his eyes. He shifted so he could look into Jensen’s eyes fully. “Yes,” he replied quietly, light shining in his eyes as his dimples came out fully. “Yes, you can adopt my son and yes, I’ll marry you.”

Sam Ferris had just walked into the room to see Jared wrapped in Jensen’s arms in a deep loving kiss. She held her tongue a moment before finally clearing her throat to announce her arrival.

“Isn’t this how these babies came to be?” she asked with a teasing smile, tapping the chart in her hand on her hand while waiting for her words to sink in.

“I’m marrying Jensen,” Jared told her with a bright but sleepy smile, reluctantly settling back against his now fiancée’s chest. “Can I go home?”

“See how you feel in the morning and then I’ll probably let you loose,” the doctor told him while eyeing Jensen closely. “Jensen? How have you been feeling lately?” she asked lightly.

Jensen rolled his eyes as he wrapped Jared up in his arms since it would take a lot to make him leave him alone in the hospital that night. “I’ve been a little tired and nauseous but that’s because Chad gave me a stomach bug.”

“I did not give you a stomach bug, Ackles!” Chad yelled from the hall. “You’ve also been moody as hell unless you’re with Jared so I think that counts as odd…but then it’s you so maybe it doesn’t.”

Sam bit her lip to hide her cautious smile as she stepped closer to the bed to see that Jensen tensed as if worried that she’d hurt Jared or try to make him leave him. “How long have you been feeling sick?” she asked while eyeing the chart.

“He’s sick in the mornings sometimes,” Jared piped up, yelping when fingers pinched his side. “Hey, she’s the doctor and should know…is Jen sick, Dr. Sam?” he asked with worry.

“I’m not sick, babe,” Jensen assured him but eyed the doctor and the chart in her hand. “Am I?”

“No, you’re not sick or not sick with a cold,” Sam replied, waiting a beat to add. “You’re pregnant.”

** TBC **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Eight**

“I’m what?” Jensen Ackles knew he had to have heard Dr. Samantha Ferris wrong. He knew she had not just said what he was fairly certain she had because that was not a physical possibility. He’d been told by numerous doctors, Sam included, that Jason’s attack five years earlier had made it impossible for him to conceive again much less ever carry to term. “No, that can’t be right. You said that I couldn’t…”

Sam was nodding while stepping closer to the bed to see Jared’s eyes had widened but it was his hand that went to Jensen’s still flat stomach. “I know and I ran the tests again to be sure but they all come back telling me that you are indeed pregnant. Now since I want to run a sonogram on Jared; I can also do one on you so you can see for yourself.”

Jensen nodded numbly, still shocked that what he’d thought was a cold or bad food might be something a lot more life changing. He looked down to see Jared watching him and recognized the concern and uncertainty shining back at him. “I’m okay, Jay,” he assured him quickly but then caught something else and kicked himself. “Jared, look at me.”

Jared had been as surprised as Jensen with Sam’s announcement but even as Jensen was denying the possibility a piece of Jared began to worry and that worry turned to fear; fear that maybe this would be too much. One baby could be handled but two at roughly the same time might be too much or Jensen might…

He blinked when Jensen’s palms cupped his face to get his full attention. “I…this…this is a good thing, right?” he asked quietly without realizing his other hand had moved to his own belly. “I mean…you…I…umm…”

“This is a very good thing, sweetheart,” Jensen assured him while brushing his thumbs over Jared’s still pale cheeks in a soothing motion. “I just wasn’t expecting it and I’m a little worried about not being able to carry the baby to full term or miscarrying cause I’m not sure I could go through losing another baby but…”

“Oh! Oh, Jen, no,” Jared shook his head, trying to grip Jensen’s hand. “No, I’m sure that won’t happen. This happened for a reason. I don’t know what it is but you were meant to have a baby just like I think you were meant to be the one to find me. So this…us being together, me getting pregnant so soon and now you having this baby all had to be meant to happen right now and if it’s meant to be then you won’t lose this baby.”

Jared had been raised deeply religious even though in the eyes of his father and most of his family now he was just a huge sin. He believed that things happened for reasons. It was how he’d survived the lonely bad times with Tom and then when he was scared after he’d left Tom to save his and Tristan’s lives. Now he was certain this was happening for a reason.

“We’ll make sure Dr. Sam and Misha take real good care of you and the baby. I’ll take care of you like you’ve taken care of me so often,” he promised and saw Jensen’s lips curve in a slow smile.

“We’ll make sure that Sam and Misha take care of both of us and the babies,” Jensen corrected softly, loving this young man so much but even more as he listened to him try to reassure his fears while forgetting that he would also be pregnant and needing to be cared for. “We’ll get married; start the adoption process for Tristan so when our babies are born we’ll be a family in every sense of the word. There will be no mine or yours but ours. Our family, Jay.”

“Ours,” Jared repeated softly, tears clinging to his lashes until Jensen gently brushed them away. “Even before I came out as gay to my family I don’t think I ever really knew what being part of a real family meant until I met you and your family. Until I realized I could let myself love you and not be hurt; that someone might love us despite me not having a job right now or being…”

A quick finger touching his lips stopped Jared’s words as Jensen shook his head. “Don’t say anything negative about yourself because we’ve covered all of that before. You are a wonderful man who will find the path you need to be on as soon as you stop worrying about it. You are and will be a loving and terrific father to our kids. I promise to always be with you in the bad times and the good…and I’ll try to convince Chad not to be a bad influence on them.”

“Chad Michael Murray is a bad influence on that thing he calls a dog so of course he’ll be an even worse one on children,” Sam replied as she came back in with the sonogram machine, tossing a dry look back at Chad as he stuck his head in. “Out. When Jensen and Jared are ready to share their news they will. Until then you and that bruiser out in my hall can stay out.”

“What’s there to tell?” Chad snorted with an eye roll. “I’m the one who told Jensen that Jared was either pregnant or a pod person. Ain’t nothing you can tell me that can surprise me more than that, Doc.”

“I’m pregnant,” Jensen announced without preamble or pause, running his tongue over his teeth as he watched his friend’s face go still while he digested that news then his eyes went wide and he began to cough. “Surprised now, Chad?”

Chad was shoved out the door by an exasperated Samantha Ferris, leaving him to explain to a growling Chris Kane what was wrong with him.

“You could’ve done that with a little more tact, Jensen Ackles,” she scolded but noticed Jared’s small smile and was relieved to not see as much worry there as she had before. “Please use some when you call your parents to tell them this news.”

“Oh, I was planning to call and tell them Jay’s pregnant…and when they come to be sure I’m taking care of him and their grandchild they could figure out the rest,” Jensen’s face was totally serious despite the struggle to keep his lips from curving as the woman shot him her best ‘don’t you dare’ look but it was Jared’s gasp that had him giving up the ruse. “I’m going to tell Mom, Jay,” he promised quickly. “I was just teasing Sam. I couldn’t dare not tell Mom or you’ll be a widower before we’re married.”

Jared let out the breath that he’d been drawing in to lecture Jensen about not telling his Momma this news and relaxed again as Sam readied the machine. “Can you do Jensen first, Dr. Sam?” he asked, fingers moving lightly over Jensen’s stomach; looking up with a dimpled smile. “Do you want to, Jen?”

“Yeah, Jay, I do and she can if she wants,” Jensen was nervous but covered it because he loved seeing Jared’s smile. “Let’s see what we can hear.”

As it turned out once Sam spread the cold gel over Jensen’s stomach, let him complain that they could’ve invented a warmed gel in the last five years and began to run the small wand over it, she was surprised at how quickly she found the strongest source of a heartbeat…right near to where Jared’s one finger was still resting.

“There we are,” she watched Jensen’s face as he heard his child for the first time. She remembered the last time and could see how hard he was trying not to get his hopes up in case this did turn out badly. “It’s too soon to tell the sex yet but I can tell you from my perspective and Misha will tell you more that the baby’s heart sounds good. It’s going to be alright, honey.”

“See? Dr. Sam says you and the baby will be alright,” Jared leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Jensen’s lips, amazed by the sound of the heartbeat and almost hating to lose the sound as Sam redid the same steps to get ready to check the heartbeat of the baby he had growing inside him. “We’ll take care of you.”

Sam lifted her eyes to Jensen with a raised brow at that as she moved the wand over Jared’s belly to quickly locate an equally strong heartbeat there as well. “I’d say Misha and I, as well as those two in the hall and Danneel will be taking care of all of you plus the soon to be big brother. I’m keeping you both in here until Misha gets in tomorrow to look you over and do his typical happy baby dance.”

“Whatever. I wasn’t leaving Jared alone tonight anyway,” Jensen had already wiped the gel off of him and was doing the same to Jared before bringing the sleepy and still pale young man back against his side to sleep. “Could you ask Chris to go by Dani’s and make sure Tristan will be okay with her or give me a phone so we can call her?”

“Can she bring him in the morning?” Jared asked through a yawn, worried about his son. “He’s going more for bottled these days but he’s never really been away from us this long and…Dani has glitter and…”

“I’m going to go make sure the kid doesn’t end up with glitter all over him again,” Chris spoke from the door where he stood eyeing both me but especially Jensen. “So…should I have Chad checked into the psych ward or is what he said true?” he asked, careful in approaching since he knew Jared was still wary with him most of all of any of Jensen’s friends.

Jensen laid his hand over the one that Jared had over his stomach to meet his friend’s eyes. “I’m having a baby,” he murmured as it slowly sank in for the first time. “I’m having a baby.”

“Yep, and we’re both gonna be great,” Jared assured him. “We’re going to be a real family.”

“Yeah we are, Jay,” Jensen smiled down at him with pure love.

Becoming a family became the mantra of the next few months as both Jensen and Jared prepared and dealt with dual pregnancies on top of starting the adoption process so Tristan would be Jensen’s legal son. They had a quick but romantic wedding under the arbor that was in the backyard that Danneel and Gen made sure was covered in flowers.

Jensen’s family came up from Texas but even though Jared sent an invitation to his mother he wasn’t surprised when it was returned in his father’s handwriting. It hurt him and while he tried to pretend it didn’t Jensen was there to hold him when the emotions finally broke free.

“He hated me ever since I was little and I doubt if I’ll ever know why but it still hurts that Momma stood up to him to come here to report me missing but she wouldn’t come for this,” he laid in Jensen’s arms on their wedding night, relaxing into the touch of his husband’s fingers gently rubbing along his arm and then over his now showing baby bump. “Can I borrow your family sometime?”

“Sweetheart, my whole family adores and loves you so my family is already your family,” Jensen assured him while laying sweet kisses along Jared’s face. “You have such strong faith in nearly everything so have that faith that one day your Momma will come around and see how much this hurts you. Until then…” he gently teased Jared’s lips open to let their tongues play. “This is still our wedding night and Tristan is spending the weekend in San Francisco with my parents so before we both get laid out by morning sickness or whatever let me show you how much I love you.”

As it turned out the morning sickness hit Jensen a lot harder than Jared this time. By the fourth month Misha Collins who proved that he could be as stubborn as Jensen despite his comical ways and multi print outfits when he finally put his foot down and stuck Jensen on complete bed or sofa rest after a panicked Jared had called 911 one night in fear that something was wrong with Jensen and their unborn daughter.

“The fact that you’re pregnant in the first place after multiple doctors said you couldn’t ever conceive again is either a miracle or fate but while I’ll tone down the doom and gloom when Jared’s in the room so he doesn’t worry I’m not sugarcoating this for you Jensen,” the dark haired doctor began grimly as he double checked Jensen and the little girl inside him. “If you want to carry to term, if you want to give this little girl the best shot at being born healthy then you have got to take it easy for the rest of this pregnancy.”

“Jared’s pregnant too and he needs to take it easy too so I try to ease the load he keeps putting on himself,” Jensen returned but knew the doctor was right. He was putting too much pressure on himself to be the strong one when it might be time to take his father and Chris’s advice and back off; letting others in to help when needed.

Jared was actually doing well with his second pregnancy. He had very little morning sickness, didn’t have weird cravings and kept his energy level up. He did have the odd emotional spell every now and then if things got too overwhelming or he worried about Jensen or the babies or the first time Tristan took a shaky step in search of his stuffed moose.

“He’s growing too fast,” he knew it was the hormones making him cry but as he sat on the sofa with Jensen’s arms around him watching his little 18 month old son take shaky steps while holding onto the coffee table he was just an emotional mess. “I remember the day he was born.”

“I don’t think any of us are likely to forget that day,” Jensen felt the same emotional turmoil as Tristan laughed when he let go to plot on his diapered butt only to pull himself back up and let go again. “He’s going to grow, Jay. He’ll go just like these two will grow and we’ll be there to teach them everything they need to know while they do. Our kids will be fine and so will we.”

With Jensen on bed rest that meant he had to stop working. He worried about finances since he knew his bosses might not be quick to approve male maternity leave but finally agreed to accept his father’s offer of covering things until the babies were born and he was back to work.

Jared offered to try to work a part time position bagging groceries but Jensen as well as their friends and both doctors flat out refused that plan.

“Dude! If I even see you bagging something not a dirty diaper I am moving in here to keep you both on the straight and narrow!” Chad promised after hearing the two discussing work options. “Hell, JD’s looking to remodel his house this spring. I bet if he’d see the way you can draw and design things like you did the new nursery and Tristan’s bedroom he’d pay you to design for him and his wife. Hell, my Mom will pay you to draw for her if I showed her something you did.”

Jared’s ability to draw and design came to light when he and Jensen decided to make Tristan his own room while enlarging the nursery.

Jensen knew what it should be like but couldn’t draw a stick figure while Jared had the vision in his mind but was unable to explain it verbally so in frustration he grabbed the small notebook Jensen kept by him to write down various things needed for whenever Danneel or Chris dropped by to go shopping.

It had been a quick but furious session of Jared trying to get what he was saying on a tiny piece of paper but when he was done and handed it to Jensen he’d seen the raw emotion of love and respect that he’d never had anyone show him before like his husband was showing him now for the design of the nursery.

“This is perfect and just what we were talking about,” Jensen was stunned by the skill in the simple design and also by Jared’s lack of confidence in his abilities as his cheeks blushed bright red at the compliment. “Jared, you have a real talent for this.”

“No,” Jared blushed, tapping the pencil nervously as Jensen struggled to push himself up off the sofa with some difficulty to grab for a larger sheet of paper to bring back. “I mean, I used to dream of drawing or designing and it’s what I was going to school for but everyone’s right and it’s a hobby. I’m not…”

“Don’t say anything negative about yourself,” Jensen cut him off while letting Jared help him back down onto the sofa with him while Tristan crawled over to hold his chubby arms up to one of his fathers to be picked up. “I know it’s still hard to believe in yourself but I told you once that I would never lie to you. You have a God given skill here, Jay.

“I’ve seen the little sketches of Tristan you’ve drawn while we were waiting for Misha that one day and you got bored. You draw really awesome and you just did a fast design that looks better than full blueprints that I’ve paid people to do when I started remodeling the house so you can do both if you’d just believe in yourself,” he put in while cupping Jared’s face to bring him closer to kiss, then blowing kisses on Tristan’s cheeks to make him laugh. “Trust me.”

Jared did trust Jensen’s opinion of him so he did go ahead and redo the design on larger paper. He was then floored the next day when Chris came over to start measuring as it would be mostly he and Michael Rosenbaum doing the heavy work and he looked at the design for the nursery that had been tweaked and changed until finally Jared was satisfied with it.

“You did this?” he asked after Jensen dropped it into the conversation who drew up the plan after Chris asked about it. “Sweet. Kiddo, you are a never ending source of amazement to me,” he clapped Jared on the shoulder while handing a grinning Mike the plans. “Let’s get to work before these kids decide to come early.”

After that and after Chad’s declaration it seemed like Jared began doing both designs for simple room remodels as well as private sketches; both of which he could do from a chair or the living room sofa or even the bed at night when he and Jensen settled in for the night after Tristan was asleep.

It was only when Chad stopped by one afternoon with a well-dressed middle aged woman that he introduced as his mother that Jared began to realize how serious people were taking his work.

He drew for fun or to relax or now he’d do designs to bring cash in but when Chad’s mother sat down to discuss having a few of his casual sketches of the woods, the nearby lake or other things he’d drawn to distract himself from the remodeling going on upstairs and how much more tired Jensen seemed to be getting as it neared the middle of the eighth month of his pregnancy while Jared was a few weeks ahead of him but still feeling basically fine…if just fat.

“I have a gallery in Monterey that has a section where we showcase talent like yours, Jared,” she flipped through his sketchbook to see one of Jensen and Tristan that just stopped her heart by what she could see in the simple pencil work. “Your work is raw, from the heart and so damn powerful that even something as simple as this sketch of your little boy and Jensen screams talent,” she’d been told by her often energetic son about how Jared had come into their lives so she knew to curb her normal aggressive ways when discovering such an unknown artist. “Give me six of your favorite landscapes since I know you wouldn’t part with this one and I promise you by the time you give birth I will be able to have sold half if not all six for a profit.”

Jared wasn’t sure if that was possible but he listened to Jensen’s softly whispered words in his ear to ‘go for it’ and agreed to a trial contract with Carly Murray’s gallery.

He picked the ones to go and then left what happened in fates hand as he was soon too busy with home and family to give it more thought.

Chris and Mike completed the remodel while Donna Ackles came to stay to help care for Tristan and to take care of things as the last part of the pregnancy began tiring Jared out to the point where Misha finally told him to stay off his feet for the next week.

“Jen?” Jared was awake one night because his back was hurting and their son was kicking up a storm; only stopping if he rolled to his side to lay facing Jensen so he could rub his fingers over the rounded belly that also touched Jensen’s belly and the equally active little girl. “Would it seem silly to admit that I’m a little scared?”

Jensen had been scared since the other week when he thought his water had broken early and a frantic Chad had driven him to the ER where Misha said it had been the start to an early labor but was able to stop it for the moment.

He’d been kept in the hospital overnight and had been worried about leaving Jared overnight until Chris told him that Donna had arrived early and was with his family.

Now as it got closer for one or both to deliver and he was basically stuck in bed full time he understood Jared’s fears but still tried to keep up the façade so the younger man wouldn’t see how worried he really was. “You and David are going to be fine, babe,” he assured him while rubbing a hand over the spot where their son was kicking the most and realizing that when their daughter kicked her brother would kick back. “Oh my God,” he whispered as it hit him what was happening. “Jay, they’re playing.”

“We need to teach them that kicking really isn’t a great game when they’re still inside,” Jared returned but he was smiling, settling his head on Jensen’s shoulder to just lay still and feel the odd little sensations. “You and Hope will be fine too, Jen. Please don’t start thinking otherwise. I…”

“Hey, I’m not doing the dark thoughts thing so don’t get nervous. All of us are going to be fine and get through this,” Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared’s lips when he looked up at him, giving him a tired smile. “Did I tell you that Chris and the guys are taking bets to which one of us will go into labor first and also which one of us will cuss the other out more?”

“Fine. I just won’t cook for them again,” Jared muttered but felt the kicks settling down and knew he’d sleep now as he heard Jensen’s voice singing lowly as he’d started to do to not only put Tristan to sleep but also to help soothe Jared and restless babies as well. “Love you, Jensen.”

“I love you too, Jared,” Jensen watched as Jared fell to sleep. Once he was certain he was asleep he closed his own eyes and prayed for safe deliveries for them both and healthy babies.

The surprise baby shower had been Danneel’s idea even though Chad had basically ruined it by asking Jared what the hell kind of snacks one brought to a baby shower. It turned out well and given that Jensen was actually feeling strong enough to come downstairs for it, the day was spent among friends and family as Jensen’s father had come as well.

It was toward the end of it while Chris, Chad, Michael and Alan were all deciding how to move the assorted new furniture and gifts upstairs that things picked up when Jensen, who’d been leaning over on Jared’s shoulder with Tristan cuddled between them suddenly let out a small gasp and went pale.

“Jen?” Jared felt the change and knew something was wrong the second green eyes shot to his with the first sign of real concern he’d ever seen on Jensen before. “Chris!” he yelled, picking Tristan up to hand him to a worried Donna. “Chris! Jen’s in labor! He…oh boy.”

“Oh now this is so not fair,” Chris Kane had been half way up the steps when he heard that shout and had bolted back down in time to realize that his soon to be god-kids had both decided to be born at the same time and by the paleness of Jensen’s face one of them needed to get to the hospital in a hurry. “Chad! Call the hospital! Tell Sam they’re both in labor, Jensen’s getting too pale and have Collins standing by or I’m breaking that man at his knees!”

Having friends who were either firefighters, EMTs or both came in handy with two pregnant men, especially when Jensen’s vitals began to drop on the frantic drive to the ER since Chris had said he could drive them there faster than 911 could get an ambulance to them given that Matt Cohen, the most daring of the drivers, was already at the house.

By the time the SUV pulled up in front of the ER, Misha Collins and Sam Ferris were both shouting orders to the rushing staff of nurses and doctors.

“Are Jen and the baby alright?” Jared was demanding as he was placed on a gurney, more than a little panicked because they took Jensen away from him and it was clear that he wasn’t going to be able to be with him like they’d planned for him to be. “I need to be in the room, Dr. Sam! I promised Jen I’d hold his hand while he gave birth to Hope. Please!” he tried to push off the gurney only to throw a dark look at a growling Chris. “He’s scared Chris! I know he’s been brave for me but I know he’s scared that the baby won’t be okay! I have to be with him even if it’s a little bit!”

Chris was frowning, wavering in the midst of too big hazel eyes giving him the one damn look that could make Jensen cave in a second and though he swore it didn’t work on him, Chris knew it might this time.

“Sam, is there any way we could at least get him in with Jensen for a little bit?” he asked, noticing that Chad was pacing the hall restlessly while Dani helped fill out forms that she knew Jared would be too distracted to deal with right then.

Sam Ferris considered it. She wanted to get Jared into a birthing room since she knew Misha would’ve taken Jensen to a more advanced room with more equipment in case either father or daughter needed it. She also knew it wasn’t going Jared or his son any good to keep getting worked up. She was half decided when she heard Gen shouting for her from up the hall.

“Sam! Misha says to tell you if you can at all possible do it that he needs Jared’s in with Jensen ASAP!” she yelled, looking back as something crashed in the other room. “Or preferably before Jensen manages to break Misha’s nose if he doesn’t let Jared be with him.”

“Okay then,” Sam blew out a frustrated breath and motioned to Chris. “Roll him in and we’ll see how this works out,” she caught Chad by the arm. “You be ready to run if I need you to go grab something and don’t you dare hit on my nurses!”

“Yes, ma’am,” Chad nodded, catching Jared’s eyes to give him a reassuring nod. “You and Jensen’ll be fine, kiddo. After all, this ain’t like giving birth in a speeding van in the middle of a raging firestorm.”

“No, it’s scarier,” Jared replied, twisting his head while breathing through a sudden contraction as he heard Jensen’s deep husky voice. “Jen?”

Jensen had passed out sometime on the trip to the ER but the moment he’d woken up to Misha and didn’t see Jared he’d reacted in typical Jensen Ackles style: he’d tried to grab his doctor by his flowered shirt and demanded that Jared be allowed to be with him.

The pain and fear was huge but he knew if he could just see Jared for a short time, he knew Jared was also in labor and hoped to give the younger man some encouragement as well, that he’d be better.

“Jen?” Jared’s voice had him looking away from where he was glaring at Misha who was rubbing his head where a blindly thrown punch had connected.

“Jay,” the moment Jared was wheeled in Jensen felt himself calming down. His hand shot out to grasp onto the one that Jared was moving toward him as Chris moved the gurney over so they could get Jared onto the other bed that had been in the room. “Hey there. You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, my contractions are speeding up but not like they did with Tristan,” Jared ignored the hustle of people around them to focus on the hand that was tightly holding his. “Are you alright?”

Jensen took a shaky breath before trying to smile even as a hard contraction hit him. “Yeah, I think so but this little girl wants to be born and I think I’m more than ready for that too. Misha?”

“Oh, now he’s not calling me every name in the book,” Misha smirked while scrubbing up and nodding to the nurse to help him into his sterile smock and gloves. “Okay people, if Jared’s staying then he’s having David in here too so prep him but for Heaven’s sake don’t try to move him from Jensen! I don’t want Sam to have to stitch up the staff.”

“Just remember the breathing we learned and everything you told me that day, Jen,” Jared held on tighter as Jensen’s contractions increased and his husband began hurling threats at an amused Chris. “Jen, I thought you should be yelling at me?”

“No…I love you so I’ll yell at Kane,” Jensen gasped as he slumped back while Sam wiped his forehead, looking over to see the signs of strain on Jared’s face as Dani, because if Misha couldn’t keep an eye on him then they’d agreed to only allow Danneel to do it, checked on Jared’s progress. “You can feel free to yell at me when it’s your turn though I think we’re making a rule from now on and I’m topping.”

“Hey! I don’t need the images of that!” Chad yelled from the door.

At first it looked like Jensen would deliver first which would have suited him fine but then Jared’s contractions suddenly jumpstarted and Dani’s head shot up to look over at the doctor who was urging Jensen to push.

“I see a head!” they both said at the same time which soon sent the staff and others scurrying when it became plain that they might have a version of twins after all.

Chad was pacing the hall. He kept in touch with Alan and Donna Ackles by phone to keep them up to speed. Several other EMTs and firefighters from their unit had arrived by then after having been alerted by Mike and Matt.

It seemed like days when it had just been a touch under five hours when he finally heard the first sound of a baby’s cry. Then just as he was about to stick his head in to see which of his friends needed congratulating first he blinked when less than two minutes later he heard another cry.

“I’ll be damned,” he muttered to a shocked Mike. “It looks like we have twins and the damn Chief won the pool.”

Back in the birthing room Misha was quickly trying to access his two newest patients while also splitting his attention between their fathers as he and Danneel dealt with finishing up.

“Are they alright?” Jensen demanded. He was emotionally and physically wiped out but his first priority would always be his family so he needed to be sure the babies and Jared was all healthy. “Is Jared okay?”

“Yes, and so are you if you’d like to know,” Misha responded with a chuckle, turning to see Gen holding a tiny pink bundle while Danneel had her blue clothed counterpart. “You guys want to meet your kids before we get you settled in a room?”

“Yes,” Jared sounded as wiped as Jensen felt but as he lifted his head, dark hair soaked with sweat, his hazel eyes were light and wet. “Oh. Oh, wow. They look so tiny. Was Tristan this tiny?”

Danneel laughed while placing the little boy who’d arrived in the world a minute and 45 seconds ahead of his sister in Jared’s arms while Gen carefully placed the little girl in Jensen’s arms. “As the person who can honestly say I delivered both of your kids yes, Tristan was this small.”

“Hey, Dani’s two to my one,” Misha complained while washing up. “I need to deliver another baby so one of you had better…ow!” he yelped when Sam slapped him in the back of the head.

“Can we just get them through the terrible twos with the ones they already have before you plan for one of them to have another?” she scolded while Chris nearly debated throwing the doctor out a window for even suggesting another baby this soon.

Sam watched the two to see Jensen automatically leaning more toward Jared even in the separate bed. “I’ll go see if that room is ready so we can get you all moved in there to sleep,” she shoved a complaining Misha toward the door while nodding to Danneel and Chris. “You two go hand out whatever it is you young people hand out for new babies and keep Chad out of here until they’re in the room. They need the time alone.”

Chris debated that since being alone is what got them into this mess but as Danneel tugged on his arm he left with a grumble but not before giving Jensen a grin and a thumbs up.

“We did it,” Jared murmured, counting fingers and toes multiple times on his son with plans to do it again the first chance he had with their daughter. He glanced up at the sound of a bed squeaking. “Jensen! Dr. Sam’s gonna yell when she comes back!” he scolded softly as his husband eased onto his bed with Hope Maree in his arms.

“Yeah but I want to hold my family in my arms so she can yell at me,” Jensen was tired and sore but the second Jared moved into his shoulder and he wrapped his free arm around him and David Ian he instantly felt better. “I love you, Jay,” he told him, voice thick with emotion as he took in his husband and their new children. “I love you. I love Tristan and I love these two little ones.”

Jared smiled, laying his head over on Jensen’s shoulder while looking at their son and daughter. “They look like you,” he was able to count Hope’s toes and fingers while seeing a few strands of dark hair while David looked to have lighter hair for the moment. “They’re perfect.”

“Yeah, they are,” Jensen had silently done the finger/toe count himself when he first had his daughter put in his arms. It was hard to keep the emotions inside as he looked at the two tiny faces, especially of the daughter he never thought he’d have. “Last night I dreamed of Joy,” he spoke quietly. “It was weird cause she looked to be five years old and was swinging on a tree swing in our backyard.”

“Jen,” Jared looked up with tears shining in his eyes and he took in the ones glistening on Jensen’s lashes as he told him of his dream. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier or wake me up last night?”

“Because our little boxers here had been duking it out for an hour and you’d finally fallen to sleep. I didn’t want to wake you up because too many hormones made me dream of the baby I’d lost,” Jensen ran the tip of his finger down Hope’s nose, doing the same to David. “I know it wasn’t real but it helped to see her, to maybe think that even in Heaven she was growing. She…she said she liked you and liked her little brother Tristan and would watch over him and Hope and David. She said it was okay and even though I can’t see her that she’s around,” he felt the tears fall before he could stop them. “She said she loved me, and loved you,” he lifted his eyes to smile. “She said she was glad I found you and that she’d consider you her Daddy too.”

Jared was still emotional from too much after baby hormones so that did him in. He shifted David a little she he could move his free arm around Jensen and Hope. “I’d like to consider her as part mine too if that would be okay with you,” his voice was choked with tears while wiping Jensen’s away. “She is with you, Jen. She’ll always be a part of you because she was your daughter and you love her still.”

“You, Tristan and now David and Hope are the best things to come into my life, Jared,” Jensen let their foreheads touch a second before lightly kissing his husband with just a sweet and loving kiss. “I will never forget how much you helped me.”

“You helped me,” Jared corrected, looking down to smile at the sight of little fingers touching one another. “Jen, look. They’re reaching for one another. Maybe they weren’t kicking each other before but trying to find one another.”

“I think that’s why David decided to come first. So he could be the older one looking out for his little sister, just like Tristan’ll look out for both of them,” Jensen watched his children and then noticed how heavy Jared’s eyes were. “Love you Jared.”

“I love you too, Jen,” Jared didn’t want to sleep until after they were settled and the babies fed as he knew that would be his job.

Misha had explained to them that Jensen’s body hadn’t adjusted to the pregnancy quick enough or something that it produced milk while Jared’s seemed to have produced more than one baby needed so it had been agreed that he’d breastfeed both babies until they were old enough to go on a bottle.

“Go to sleep, babe. I’ll wake you when we’re in a room or you’ll wake up the first time someone goes to move a baby,” Jensen knew that and pitied Misha when he tried. “Hey? Want to trade for a while?” he asked, knowing Jared was longing to hold Hope and he wanted to hold David.

“Will Dani hit me for thinking our daughter is so tiny and that we need to buy a shotgun?” Jared asked after he cradled the baby girl in his arms, counting her fingers and toes again and then brushed his finger over soft skin that seemed so much softer than either of their sons.

“She probably will but hey, we’ve only got one daughter and we’re friends with the Sheriff’s department so I think we’re covered as far as boys go,” Jensen grinned after Jared’s snort. “Dude, we’ve got 15 years before she’s allowed to date so don’t go growling now.”

Jared muttered something about not dating until she was 21 but since he was half asleep Jensen overlooked that as Sam stepped back in with Misha trailing her.

“I told you this is what we’d find,” Misha rolled his eyes as he took in the pair. “Couldn’t you wait a little longer?”

“No, I wanted to hold them and Jay wanted to hold Hope so I moved,” Jensen’s arm tightened fractionally as if challenging the doctor to move him away now. “They’ll sleep through the move to another room and I’ll make sure Jared doesn’t punch you if you touch one of the twins.”

And that told how Jensen and Jared would see David and Hope. They weren’t two separate babies but would be considered twins and as Sam noticed how the two newborns seemed to be reaching for one another on their father’s arms she supposed in every way save one that they could be considered twins.

Jared and the babies did sleep and didn’t wake until a hand moved his arm as if to move his son and then hazel eyes snapped open but it was Jensen’s eyes he locked on so he relaxed again. He noticed the room was more softly lit, had two infant beds but the babies were still with them and were starting to wake up and fuss.

“Time to feed them,” he noticed the bed was bigger to give them room as he went to push up only to feel Jensen’s arm around him, but felt that it was still weaker than normal. “Did Sam and Misha say you were okay?” he worried about the strain this had put on Jensen.

“Sam said I’ll be weak for a little bit but that I’ll be able to go back to work in a few months or when I feel it’s right to leave you alone with an 18 month old and two infants,” Jensen brushed his hand down Jared’s face to smile. “I feel fine, Jay. I’m weak but no worse than you probably feel. We’re gonna be fine,” he promised with a kiss to Jared’s lips as Hope decided to let them know she might be a little small but she wouldn’t be ignored. “Guess who wants her belly filled first?”

“Daddy has you little Hope,” Jared leaned against Jensen while lifting up their daughter and helped her find the nipple to suckle onto. “This is always so amazing to watch them like this.”

Jensen held a still sleepy David while Hope was fed since they weren’t sure if Jared could handle both at one time. He watched Jared’s face and felt his throat tighten. “It’s amazing to watch you with them like this. You’re still gorgeous, Jared,” he murmured.

“Do you miss not being able to do this?” Jared had worried about that but Jensen shook his head slowly and let David suck on his finger.

“No, cause I knew going in that I probably wouldn’t be able to breastfeed,” Jensen lifted their son up to hold him as Hope finished up. “Even with Joy, my body never was able to make milk but the doctor said some guys can’t while others can. I can burp them though and do all the other stuff,” he tipped Jared’s face up to meet his eyes. “It’s all good, Jay. We talked about this and I’m fine with you doing it.”

Jared nodded, easing Hope to Jensen while repeating the same process with David to help latch on to the other nipple to suckle while his sister was laid up against Jensen’s shoulder to be burped.

Soon after both infants had been fed, Gen came in to take them for final tests and promised to bring them right back to their beds in the room.

“Chad and Matt will make sure she doesn’t get them confused or anything,” Jensen assured his nervous husband, knowing Jared had hated when Tristan was taken from the room for any reason. “You need to sleep now. I’ll sleep after they bring them back and then tomorrow Dani can sneak Tristan in.”

Jared smiled sleepily. He wasn’t interested in sleeping but knew he would anyway. “You’ll sleep too?” he needed to be sure Jensen slept as well.

“I’ll sleep, Jay,” Jensen promised, letting Jared curl more against him and watched as he slowly fell to sleep within a few minutes of closing his eyes again.

Jensen stayed awake despite how tired he felt until their son and daughter were brought back, put in their little beds and the beds moved closer to the bed. Only once he was assured that Jared and the infants were sleeping did he finally close his eyes to let himself drift off with dreams of a future that was bright and filled with love and happiness.

Five months later found the family living happily. It took Jensen time to regain his strength and he still wasn’t back on the fire department full time but he did go in for light duty which also allowed him to be home with Jared to help with the kids.

Both babies were healthy, happy and doing well. Tristan had been brought to the hospital the day after and despite being only 18 months seemed to know he was a big brother. Now with David and Hope home, he showed very little signs of typical sibling jealousy but both Jared and Jensen made sure to give their oldest son plenty of time and attention too.

That was why one fall afternoon found Jared sitting in a chair on their front porch with a baby in each arm as they all watched Jensen and Tristan attempt to clean out a giant pumpkin that the little boy had picked out the day before on a trip to a pumpkin patch.

“Eat?” Tristan had a handful of pumpkin guts in his hand which he was about to shove in his mouth until Jensen caught him.

The nearly two-year old was not picky about what he ate and would try to eat anything so it was a never ending experience to make sure he didn’t try to eat anything that he shouldn’t. Jared was often a nervous wreck about it and had just started to move to catch his con when Jensen did it.

“No, we don’t eat pumpkin guts,” he told his sulky boy, quickly making him laugh again when he made a face at the pile of the stuff in the plastic tub beside them. “We give this to Mr. Mackey down the road for his piggies to eat and he in turn gives you plenty of apples to help you grow big and strong like your Daddy.”

“If he keeps growing like this we’ll need to buy him more clothes before Christmas,” Jared remarked, placing Hope in her swing so he could use both hands to replace the knit cap that David kept pulling off his head.

“You’re 6’4” so it’s a given that he’s going to be tall,” Jensen made a final scoop to be sure all the seeds were out to look up with a grin. “I’m 6’1 so it’s also a given that more than likely Hope and David will also be tall. We’ll need a lot taller baby gates and crib sides if they grow as fast as this little monkey who finds it funny to be able to try to escape his crib.”

Tristan’s dimples burst out while he got his legs under him to throw himself into Jensen’s arms with a laugh that his other Daddy got upset the other morning when he found him in the process of climbing out of his crib. “Climb, Da!” he was forming words now and knew who was Daddy and who was Da or Dada. “JoyJoy help me!”

That one never failed to make both men stop and pause. It also always made Jared’s eyes shoot to see how Jensen handled it but like the first time their son admitted to doing something new…and slightly death defying to them with the help of JoyJoy, Jensen just held Tristan tighter with his eyes closed to cover the emotions in them.

When asked who JoyJoy was by Jared even though the man had a hunch what the answer would be he’d been hard pressed not to chuckle at the little boy’s eye roll like his Daddy should already know the answer.

“M’sister, Daddy,” Tristan replied and then went back to eating his breakfast.

That day he blew a kiss on Jensen’s cheek. “Pum’kin?”

“Yeah, we’re going to make a great pumpkin, kiddo,” Jensen cleared his throat after another minute, nodding to Jared that he was fine and starting to pick up a knife when he looked at the sound of a car pulling in the drive. “We expecting anyone?” he asked, still on guard for any possible threat to his family and was picking Tristan up even as he stood to see a late model sedan driving up.

“No,” Jared placed David in his swing but stayed close in case he needed to pick them up in a hurry. “Chad said he’d drop by later with another candy haul that you’d better put a stop to but I don’t know who that…oh my God.”

Jensen’s eyes were narrowing when he suddenly whirled to see Jared’s face paling. “Jared? Jay, what’s wrong?” he demanded, shifting Tristan to his hip while reaching for a shaking arm as Jared stepped up closer to him. “Who is that?” he asked after seeing a middle aged dark haired woman stepping from the car and something inside Jensen had a hunch even before he felt fingers grip his tightly. “Jay?”

Jared hadn’t been sure at first but when the woman stepped out of the sedan, turning to look at him with tired hazel eyes he knew for sure; feeling his knees go weak. “Momma.”

“Hello, Jared,” Sherry Padalecki took a step from the car; clearly unsure of her welcome as her eyes went from her son to the man standing beside him and could read the warning in those deep green eyes. “I hope you don’t mind this sudden visit. I thought it time I came to meet not only my grandchildren but also my son-in-law if I’m welcome.”

Jared was still stunned to see his mother so it took him a couple seconds along with an elbow to his ribs from Jensen to snap his attention back to his nervous mother, stepping down slowly off the porch. “Of course you’re welcome here, Momma,” he told her as he opened his arms. “I’ve missed you.”

“Oh, my sweet baby,” Sherry’s voice broke as he met Jared halfway up the walk to hug her son. “I’m so sorry about everything you’ve been put through and how much I hurt you by not coming to your wedding. I wanted to but…”

“I know, Momma,” Jared did know and while it still hurt he’d be grateful for this moment. He turned toward the porch to meet Jensen’s eyes, seeing his slow nod. “Come meet my family."

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hearts on Fire**

**Chapter Nine**

Reconciling with his mother seemed to help Jared begin to heal the one part of his life that he’d still been raw about: his family.

Sherry had explained a few days after she arrived while preparing lunch that she’d finally worked up the nerve to leave Jared’s father after so many years of constant emotional abuse. She knew nothing she did would ever repair the emotional or physical damage that her son had suffered but she hoped to make a fresh start now.

Jensen was welcoming but cautious at first. He was glad the woman had finally found the courage to come see her son but worried that in the end that Jared would be the one hurt if things went back to how they were.

By the time Sherry felt comfortable enough to explain how life had been before and after Jared’s birth, Jensen had decided it was safe to trust this woman with Jared’s tender heart. Of course his mother and Sherry had bonded right off and now he had two grandma’s spoiling the kids in addition to his friends but to see Jared smiling he’d cope with it.

It was nearing Halloween and Jared was valiantly trying to convince Danneel that she was not coming close to any of his kids with glitter when Jensen suddenly made a choice to do the one thing that he hadn’t yet since meeting and now marrying Jared.

“Hey, since your Mom and my Mom are doing something that involves sewing and pins and tape measures to make little costumes for Dave and Hope and Tristan’s following Chris around the backyard, would you come with me someplace for about an hour?” Jensen asked curiously, nerves plain by the way his fingers were shaking when Jared slipped his hand into his.

“Yeah, sure,” Jared gave Danneel a firm warning glare to keep the glitter to herself. “Where we going?” he asked after they’d checked on the kids, got reassuring promises from two beaming grandmother’s that all would be fine and Chris assured them that Tristan would not end up as part of the backyard Halloween décor. “Jen?”

Jensen had been quiet since driving the SUV away from the house. “I thought it was time for you to meet someone,” he finally said after a few moments, sensing Jared’s confusion but appreciating his patience as well.

This was usually a drive that he made alone and only once a year. He’d missed last year with everything that had been going on but hoped that by bringing Jared with him it would make up for the lapse.

Jared still loved the way the trees turned up here and would often get lost looking at the fall foliage no matter where they went. He’d lost himself again until he felt the SUV slow down and he looked up to see where they were when he realized how big a step this was for Jensen.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked quietly, reaching over to squeeze a tight arm but saw Jensen’s lips curve in a small smile. “Jensen…you don’t have to.”

“I want you here, Jay,” Jensen could take the narrow paved road in the cemetery with his eyes closed now so he risked looking away to let his fingers curve over Jared’s face. “I want you to meet her.”

Jensen parked off the side of the road, shut the engine off and reached for the handle. “There are flowers in the back seat, could you grab ‘em?”

“Yeah, take your time,” Jared suspected he knew why he’d been asked to do that and would take his time to give his husband the privacy he deserved as he watched Jensen cross the cross to kneel in front a small stone set in black marble.

Five years ago Jensen figured he’d come out to this spot every other day until Chris found out and confronted him that he had to start to let go and heal or else he’d never get over the grief. Then it went down to every weekend until slowly Jensen was able to just come once a year.

As he knelt down in the soft damp grass he noticed the pale pink flowers and knew that Danneel or Chad had put them there for him. “Hey little girl,” he began softly, fingers brushing over the engraved image of a tiny angel. “I’m sorry I missed our date last year but I think you know why I did. I know I’m late doing this but I felt it was the right time.

“I still miss you Joy. I still remember holding you in my arms and no matter how long I live or how many children Jay and I have and how much I will love them in my heart you will always be there,” Jensen could feel his throat tighten with emotion and his eyes burn but the moment he felt warm fingers on his shoulder he smiled. “Hey.”

Jared had hung back until he caught the tremble of strong shoulders and knew he needed to be there for Jensen. He didn’t kneel until Jensen reached for his hand to tug him down beside him. “Is this okay?” he asked, keeping his voice in a soft whisper when a sudden light breeze wafted through the cemetery to lightly ruffle Jared’s hair; to him it almost felt like tiny fingers running through the ends of it. “Jen?”

“I’ve felt that a few times,” Jensen knew what had happened and felt some of his nervousness uncoil. He’d never liked to bring people, not even his friends, here but it felt right to bring Jared here now. He was glad that it seemed his little girl thought so as well. “She liked it that you’re here.”

“You’ve felt her before haven’t you?” Jared believed deeply in life after death so he hadn’t been too surprised by Jensen’s dream of Joy or when Tristan started calling for JoyJoy to come play with him but he hadn’t brought it up out of fear of hurting Jensen. “That’s why it didn’t totally shock you when Tristan began saying her name.”

“I had always hoped she’d moved into a better place and I have felt things when I’d come here but I’ve never seen her like I did in my dream or how it seems like Tristan can now,” Jensen took the flowers, soft pink roses to lay at the base of the stone. “Joy, this is Jared,” he glanced over to smile while meshing their fingers tightly. “He’d be your Daddy too now if you were with us and he will be in his heart cause he loves you too. He helped me see past the pain I was still holding onto and he makes me happy. Jared, this is Joy.”

Jared laid the single rose he’d kept out down by the others. “Hi, Joy,” he smiled when once again he felt the breeze. “I just want you to know that I love your Daddy and we love you just like we do Tristan, David and Hope. You’re also welcome to play with Tristan whenever you want but…maybe no climbing though?”

“I think he’s gonna be a climber, Jay,” Jensen chuckled, wiping his eyes of the tears he felt there. “Chad says we’ll be lucky if Tristan isn’t a firejumper given he was literally born in a firestorm.”

“I am so not letting Chad babysit our kids anymore,” Jared muttered, leaning into the arm that slid around him as he and Jensen sat quietly in front of the stone. No words were needed as both men were content with the silence and the gentle breeze in the air.

They stayed there for about a half an hour before Jensen pressed a kiss against Jared’s head after he felt a shiver run through the younger man. “It’s getting chillier. I think I’d better get you home before you catch a cold and Sam and our mothers yell at me…not to mention Chad’s mother.”

Jared smirked at those images because while Chad swore his mother was a tyrant, Jared had never had any kind of dealing but friendly ones.

She’d come a week after the twins had been born to hand him a check with more numbers than Jared had ever seen before. “I should’ve been here before they were born like I said I would but I thought it best to wait,” she turned a smile on Jared while rocking Hope in her arms. “So? Should we talk about a longer contract this time?”

Jared did sign a year’s contract with the gallery but he wasn’t pressured to send any certain number of work of which he was glad since he hadn’t had much time to draw since coming home. He had finished a sketch of the front porch with the pumpkins on it that the woman had said it was perfect for her fall showing.

“Do you think we can come back sometime?” he asked as they stood up and he watched Jensen lay his hand on the stone to say goodbye. “I mean, I know you said once you usually only come once a year but I think it’d be nice to come again?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Jensen’s eyes were wet but light when he turned to look at Jared. “Thank you for coming here with me today. Some people once told me it was morbid to visit her.”

“She’s your daughter, Jensen. Of course it’s not morbid to want to visit her,” Jared knew what he’d say to anyone who might say that where he could hear it. “Joy will be a part of our family and her brothers and sister will know who she is too.”

“I love you, Jared,” Jensen loved this man even more just for hearing him say that. “Let’s go home.”

Home. It still warmed Jared to be able to say that word and know it meant something. It was hard to look in a mirror at his reflection now and think of the man he had been almost two years ago.

Taking care of a toddler and two infants gave Jared plenty of exercise. He stepped out of the shower early one morning since he tried to wake up before Jensen or the kids to have a little quiet time to either sketch something or start breakfast.

On this particular morning he stopped to look in the mirror to see if he should shave now or later and had to blink at the man who stared back.

He’d been blushing every time Jensen commented how he’d grown into the underfed body that he’d had when they first met. Now as he stared at himself he wondered where that scared, skinny boy had gone.

“Have I told you in the last 12 hours that you are beyond hot?” Jensen’s voice was still rough from sleep but there was also another tone in that deep husky tone that had a piece of Jared waking up even as he turned to see his husband leaning in the bathroom door. “If not, let me correct that. You are beyond ridiculously hot,” he stepped closer to where Jared was leaning against the sink to put his hands on either side of him. “You have grown up so much and I am so glad to have been the one to have met you that day.”

Since giving birth, they’d both been told to ease back into sex. They didn’t have a lot of time alone much less energy after a day with a toddler and two infants for more than a blow job or hand job here or there.

Jared worried that might not be enough for Jensen but his husband was only too happy to prove him wrong by giving Jared a blowjob that nearly had his eyes rolling back in his head. Now it looked like maybe Jensen had other plans for this very early morning rendezvous.

“If I grew up it’s because you taught me how to be myself,” Jared’s breath caught in his throat as hot lips found his pulse point to begin a slow line of kisses up his neck. “I never would’ve had the courage to do any of this without you beside me. You taught me how to love and to be proud of myself. You taught me not to believe the bad stuff that I’d just gotten used to believing and…God, I’ve missed this,” he groaned at the feel of teeth gently teasing over his jaw. “Jen? What…what can we do?”

“Whatever you want to do, Jared,” Jensen replied, lips sliding along Jared’s jaw to find a spot under his ear that he knew his husband was sensitive. “What do you want to do, sweetheart?”

That low sexy tone never failed to turn Jared on. “Make love to me?” he got out on a low groan as fingers slid up his sides.

“Oh yeah, that is something I can definitely do,” Jensen chuckled, catching Jared’s mouth in a deep hot kiss that was instantly met and returned. “How long before someone wakes up and wants fed?” he asked between kisses.

“Not for a bit,” Jared gasped and then laughed as he was tugged into the bedroom. “You think we can do this in that time?”

“Yeah, I know we can,” Jensen’s hands moved over a muscular bare chest to see deep hazel eyes darken. “You taking those pills Sam gave you?” he asked as he stepped closer to let his knee nudge between Jared’s legs, feeling the signs of his erection through the now tented towel. “Chris’ll hurt us both if I get you pregnant again before Tristan starts school.”

Jared nodded blindly, body heating up faster than he expected but it had been a while since they’d done more than fool around and he found himself about as impatient as he had been the first time between them. “We might have to skip the prep though,” he was just saying as fingers pressed against his chest and he fell back on the bed with a laugh. “You take too long with that sometimes.”

“I take so long because I won’t hurt you and no, no matter what else we are not skipping prepping you,” Jensen was aware he might not be able to take the full time like he enjoyed doing but he also didn’t plan to just slick his cock with lube and go to town either. “Trust me, Jay. I can make this good for us.”

Sex with Jensen was never just ‘good’ in Jared’s opinion. It was great and he had no doubt that even if they got interrupted that it would still be that way. He started to roll to his stomach when Jensen’s hand stopped him.

“Stay,” he urged as he poured some warming lube into his hand while stretching out beside Jared on the bed. “I want to kiss you while I open you. I want to see your eyes get dark as you feel me stretching you.”

“I’m gonna come even before you touch me if you keep that up,” Jared mumbled, turning his face to meet Jensen’s kisses while spreading his legs to give his husband better access to his ass; groaning at the first feel of a calloused fingertip brushing just the edge of his hole. “Jensen…”

“You’re still so bossy,” Jensen chuckled, lips and teeth teasing the line of Jared’s jaw while slowly easing his finger past the rim to fight back his own groan of want.

This was another reason Jensen loved the prep time he took with Jared. He loved the feel of tight muscles clamping onto his finger as Jared adjusted to the touch. It happened faster these days than it had at first when Jared’s body was still expecting pain.

“Love watching you like this, babe,” he licked over soft lips until they opened on a gasp as his first finger slipped easily past the first ring of muscle. “I still love feeling you and hearing you when we make love.”

Jared’s thoughts were going blurry as desire built. He met Jensen’s kisses with heat and passion, totally unaware that his hips had started to thrust down as a second finger was added.

He felt the slight burn but nothing too bad and it was quickly replaced by pleasure. Jared tried to keep his eyes open so he could also watch Jensen. He loved to watch the flickers of raw emotion on Jensen’s rugged face as when they were like this is was one of the few times when he saw Jensen let his walls down unless it was when they were with their children.

Jared watched the green of Jensen’s eyes deepening as two fingers turned to three and both knew this had to happen soon for both their sakes.

“I love you,” Jensen murmured against welcoming lips, smiling as he felt fingers dig into his arm. “Roll over for me?”

“Gladly,” Jared moved to his stomach, feeling his fully hard and dripping cock touch the bed and he nearly came just from that until quick fingers squeezed the base to help him control the budding climax. “Thanks,” he longed for release but he also wanted to come once Jensen was inside him.

“Just hang on a little bit longer, Jay,” Jensen had shed his sleep pants finally, slicked up his cock more than the precome already had while easing behind Jared. “Tell me if this hurts too much or…”

“Jensen. Get in me now,” Jared was rarely that pushy but he was strung out with lust and wanted to feel Jensen’s cock splitting him open right then. “We’ve got three kids and we’ve had sex in nearly every room in this house so I think I can take you without the full prep-time.”

Jensen leaned up to tip Jared’s head back to kiss him softly. “Bossy,” he teased with a smirk but even as Jared was preparing a comeback he placed the head of his cock against the stretched hole and gave a solid roll that took him in deeper than he’d normally go with the first thrust. “Happy?”

“God, yeah,” Jared had to fight his body’s reaction to thrust back to gain more of the thick cock, knowing despite his impatience that he had to let Jensen go at his own speed. “I’ve missed this with you.”

“We’ll try to work this in more,” Jensen chuckled, kissing the back of Jared’s neck while slipping one arm around his chest to help support him. “Push back, babe. I want to feel you moving with me.”

Jared groaned when he moved back just as Jensen rolled his hips and that combined movement took Jensen’s cock all the way in as well as right up against Jared’s prostate. “Fuck!” he gasped, forgetting himself as he still tried to watch his language but heard Jensen’s laugh and knew he’d slipped. “Fine, the swear jar gets another dollar.”

“Give me a weekend when the kids are older and with either my folks or your Mom and I promise to make you swear enough that one of the kids will be golden for college,” Jensen licked over the shell of Jared’s ear while giving another solid roll of his hips while shifting back suddenly to bring Jared back against him fully and they both groaned. “Oh! Damn, I forgot how tight you felt like this and how good it felt to feel you like this, Jay.”

“It feels good on this end too, Jen,” Jared bit his lip to keep the noise down to avoid waking either Tristan or the twins up. “I…I need to come soon,” he let his head drop back to a solid shoulder, feeling warm lips graze his cheek. “I hate for this to end but…”

“I know, babe, I know,” Jensen did know. He also understood because he felt the same way in both regards. He hated for this moment to end but he also didn’t have the patience or strength of will to fight the climax he could feel edging closer with each thrust or move from either of them. “We’ll have the rest of our lives to enjoy these moments and so much more. Love you,” he kissed Jared deeply while moving his other hand down to gently close his fingers around the dripping cock to begin a slow smooth stroking. “Come when you want to, Jared.”

Jared moaned softly at the feel of those sure fingers stroking him. He loved feeling Jensen’s hands on him and knew he’d never tire of it. He also could tell how close to the edge his husband was so as Jensen quickened the stroke and he felt his balls begin to tighten Jared came on a gentle touch of a finger nail gliding over the slit in his cock. “Jen!” he struggled to keep his voice down as he came hard and fast, losing what coherent thought he still had when he felt Jensen stiffen, mutter something low in his ear and then felt hot come filling him as Jensen’s orgasm hit him.

It was always in this moment, when things were silent except for soft words, moans of passion, the sound of flesh on flesh that they both truly felt the bond that couldn’t be explained. They moved together in perfect unison as they worked through the orgasms until finally Jensen felt Jared go limp in his arms with a soft sigh of his name.

“I’ve got you, Jay,” Jensen supported them both while working through his own climax until he carefully shifted to lay down with Jared, keeping him back against him until he felt him start to stir as his brain came back online after the force of his climax. “Hey, you waking back up for me now?”

“Nope,” Jared murmured, moaning softly as he felt Jensen pull out gently but accepted his soft kiss to watch as he walked to the bathroom to grab a wet cloth to clean then up with before reaching for clean clothes. “That was awesome, Jen,” he pushed up to reach for the pair of jeans Jensen held out when he felt fingers closing on the back of his neck to bring him closer for a deeper kiss. “Hmmm, so was that. God, we need to do this more.”

“I totally agree with that plan,” Jensen agreed, pulling his jeans on but left his t-shirt off for the moment to lean over to run his fingers up Jared’s back. “Maybe I’ll take the Chief up on his offer to take that test to advance me more to officer status so I’d be in desk duty more so I’d be home earlier most days which would also help you out.”

“Or you could take your Dad up on his offer to pay for those other classes so you could get a degree in medicine or sociology like you said you wanted before,” Jared pulled a shirt on to look over his shoulder at Jensen, eyes moving to the burn scar on his arm. “I know I said I wouldn’t worry but…I do worry more now, Jen. I get so scared when I know you go on a call because I…I’m scared one of these days Chris is going to be on our door to tell me…to tell me…”

Jensen moved around the bed to sit and pull a suddenly faltering Jared into his arms to hold him, cursing himself for not seeing how worried Jared had been since he’d gotten hurt one day last month on a call to a house fire.

“Why didn’t you tell me if you’ve been worrying about this?” he asked but then realized he knew why; Jared wouldn’t want to seem like he was trying to tell Jensen what to do or influence his decisions. “Jay, I need you to talk to me if you get upset like this. I told you that if you wanted me on a desk job that I’d take one. The Chief said that would be no issue and…I could look into a few of those classes just to start with.”

Jared hated to admit he was scared but he also didn’t want anything to happen to Jensen either and after hearing the horror stories of injuries or almost fatalities from some of the others in Jensen’s unit he was worried about that. “I…I just didn’t want you to give up what you love to do because I have an overactive imagination and I listened to Matt when he was telling me about a time Mike nearly died in an inferno and…”

“Okay, so I’m telling the guys to stop with the damn horror stories around you,” Jensen was going to slap Matt when he got to work that day because while Mike had been hurt a few times there’d never been an inferno involved. “Yes, it’s dangerous. Yes, there are risks of something happening and yes, I love it but…” he paused to lift Jared’s chin in his hand to meet big hazel eyes that could still remind him of that scared boy he’d first met. “I love you and our kids more than fighting fires so if taking a desk job and a few post college courses will ease your fears and stop you from shaking in my arms like you are now then I’ll talk to Chris and the Chief when I get to the station today and start the ball rolling.”

“You’d do that?” Jared asked, hope in his voice even as their very own Hope could be heard cooing like she did every morning when waking up.

“I’m pretty sure he has the paperwork in his desk,” Jensen replied, meeting Jared’s smile with one of his own and kissing him deeply when the first small cry was heard as their daughter decided Daddy wasn’t moving fast enough. “I’ll shave while you feed her. By then Tristan should be waking up and we’ll start breakfast while you feed David.”

Jared nodded in agreement. He stood to go to the nursery but paused to look back. “Jen? I love you.”

“Love you too, Jay,” Jensen replied with a loving smile that met his eyes. He stayed sitting on the bed to listen as Jared went to get Hope out of her crib to feed her while David was just starting to wake up. “I love all of you,” he whispered to the room before going to shave and then start the day.

** Four Years Later: **

“Daddy! Dada!” Five year old Tristan Padalecki-Ackles shouted happily as he burst out of the school building where he’d just spent his first day of Kindergarten. “Up, Dada, up!” his arms went up for Jensen to pick him up which had become a ritual whenever Jensen came home in the evening or now that Tristan was in school and getting picked up by his fathers.

The last four years had flown by it seemed for them. One day Jensen was accepting a desk job and starting a few casual courses that would, one day, lead to a degree in either sociology or psychology, with a toddler and two infants at home with a budding artist for a husband and the next their oldest was going off to Kindergarten while Hope and David would soon start pre-school.

Jared still argued that he wasn’t an artist and just sketched because Chad’s mother badgered him. He also designed or drew up blueprints with a skill that rivaled men with years at the job but he enjoyed it because he could do both from home…a home that was now going to be a little quieter for the first time in years.

Jensen still did some work for the fire department and volunteered at the hospital but he was only a few months from finishing his first degree and still didn’t know where the time had gone. Now he caught their son up in his arms while Jared held the tiny hands of Tristan’s brother and sister as they waited to pick the excited little boy up from school.

Of course, Jensen had stayed home to be with Jared because it had been plain that Tristan was excited to go to school but his Daddy was beyond nervous.

“Sweetheart, we taught him to be independent. He’s excited to go to school and learn. That’s a good thing given all the screaming kids we saw this morning when we took him,” Jensen had soothed an upset Jared earlier that day while their twins played in the leaves in the front yard.

To Jared’s amazement and often horror, Tristan was never afraid to try anything new and it seemed like Hope was following in her brother’s footsteps while David was quieter, shyer, more like Jared.

Now he was just happy to see his son’s dimpled smile as Jensen picked him up. “Did you like school, Tristan?” He asked, noticing the piece of construction paper his son was clutching. “Did you draw us something to hang up?”

“Yep,” the little boy hugged Jensen then stretched his arms out for Jared. “Drew us,” he proclaimed proudly while holding out the crayon colored drawing of Tristan’s family. “There’s you and Dada,” he pointed to the two larger of the actually better than stick figures on the paper as they walked back toward the new larger SUV the family had purchased two years earlier. “There’s me, Davie and Hope and…”

Jared had been walking while both looking at the drawing and trying to keep Hope from taking off in search of a butterfly she’d noticed when he looked closer at a soft inhale from Jensen to see where he was looking and where Tristan was pointing to see they were both looking at the drawn figure sitting in the tree that was supposed to be the one in their backyard; the tree that Tristan liked to climb when he thought he could.

“Is that JoyJoy in the tree, Tristan?” he asked carefully, suspecting it was even before his son’s smile lit up his whole little face at his correct guess.

“That’s where she likes to sit and watch us,” the child replied, giving Jensen’s neck another hug as if sensing his Dada needed it. “She came to school with me so I wouldn’t be scared of leaving you and Daddy today and she’ll go to school with Hope and Davie too cause Davie might be scared cause he’s shy.”

Jensen and Jared had never discouraged Tristan’s belief that he could see Joy. When their bright son had one day asked why if Joy was his sister she didn’t live with them they’d sat him down to try to explain that Joy lived in Heaven with the Angels but would always watch over him even if he stopped seeing her which seemed to satisfy the child.

“Jensen?” Jared turned from hooking the twins in their car seats to watch Jensen as he stared at the drawing. “You okay?” he asked as Tristan held his arms out to him so he could get buckled into his own seat.

“Yeah, I’d good, Jay,” Jensen smiled, holding out the drawing to him with a lightness in his eyes. “He’s got your talent for art and I think we should have this framed.”

Once all the kids were secured, Jared shut the doors and moved to catch Jensen before he got behind the wheel; putting his arms around him. “She’ll always be with us,” he whispered.

“I know,” Jensen was glad to know that. He was so happy with how his life had turned out in comparison to how he thought it would years ago before a burning forest had brought the man of his dreams into his life to change him and his life. “Let’s go home, Jay. I think we’re gonna grill some hotdogs and watch the kids play in the backyard.”

Jared nodded, moving to the passenger seat and hearing Hope chattering happily to her doll while David was giggling at the faces Tristan was making. ‘Thank you for giving them all to me,’ he thought to the sky while looking next to him and wondering how’d he’d broach the subject that he thought next year or so would be a good time to start trying for another baby.

**The End**


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